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Forgiveness

Exaltist Ethan

Bridging the Gap Between Believers and Skeptics
Someone does something bad to me. If I can revert whatever they did to me, or it simply goes away, like pain from a fight, I can forgive them. If it affects me or my life forever, however, it will take a lot longer for me to look the blind eye. However, almost everything in life is temporary, except for death - and if they kill me, there is no way I have even the ability to forgive them at that point. I've had verbal and physical fights with family members but we still love each other as much as possible, and I still spend a lot of time with them. Since we have jails and rehabilitation centers, however, I don't believe in capital punishment. Rotting in prison is a worse fate then simply killing that person. If they are a danger to other people we have ways to stop them from hurting other people, and if they kill themselves in jail, then they can't forgive themselves for what they did.
 

JustGeorge

Not As Much Fun As I Look
Staff member
Premium Member
I usually run out of steam. Being angry is too much work.

However, there are some exceptions. I won't generally stay angry at people who have wronged me, but if I find their general decency lacking, I will not hesitate to sever ties, if at all possible. If not possible, I tend to remain very defensive until such a time comes.
 

Kenny

Face to face with my Father
Premium Member
Yea or nay?
Yea for me. The thought of holding onto anger isn't for me.
Holding un forgiveness, IMO, is like being a jailer watching the offender. Both are in jail and none of them live life to the fullest.
 

Twilight Hue

Twilight, not bright nor dark, good nor bad.
I usually run out of steam. Being angry is too much work.

However, there are some exceptions. I won't generally stay angry at people who have wronged me, but if I find their general decency lacking, I will not hesitate to sever ties, if at all possible. If not possible, I tend to remain very defensive until such a time comes.
No doubt.

For me I acknowledge it, maybe play with it , and let it pass and allow it to naturally dissipate on its own accord.

Just like meditations.
 

Shadow Wolf

Certified People sTabber
Depends on the person or persons willingness to reconcile their infraction. It might also depend on the nature of an infraction. It also would depend on my willingness to hang on to the sting of the injury.

I can forgive. Sometimes I can not.
That. You saved me time posting me thoughts.
 

ChristineM

"Be strong", I whispered to my coffee.
Premium Member
Depends on the person or persons willingness to reconcile their infraction. It might also depend on the nature of an infraction. It also would depend on my willingness to hang on to the sting of the injury.

I can forgive. Sometimes I can not.


^^^THIS^^^

Some things yes, some no.
 

Hermit Philosopher

Selflessly here for you
I don't do forgiveness. I have my reasons.


Dear Saint Frankenstein,

I am so sorry for your pain; it is very present to me in your posts and it saddens me to hear that you cannot free yourself from the harms caused upon you.

Forgiveness is not the approval of the injustices you have had to endured. The purpose of forgiveness is not that of releasing another from responsibility and guilt, but of freeing oneself from hatred.

True hatred is a crippling form of agony that does not allow us to live beyond that which has turned us into a victim.

You deserve a chance to live life free from the weight bestowed upon you by your perpetrator(s), but you are the only one able to cut yourself loose from those chains.

No amount of retribution is ever sufficient and the chains of hatred are indifferent to revenge. The only way out of victimisation and into freedom is forgiveness.

I do pray you manage to find the peace you so deserve.

Humbly,
Hermit
 

PureX

Veteran Member
I have come to understand that sometimes it's just my turn to hurt, in life. Fault doesn't really have much relevance. If it's not this, or this one, it's that, and that one. Being human is a messy business. Some of us are better at it than others, but all of us screw up.

I'm old enough to recognize and avoid the really toxic ones among us most of the time. But evil is like the weather. Sometimes it amasses too much influence in our world to avoid it.

It just is what it is. It's not really something I have forgive, but rather endure until I can get away from it.
 

King Phenomenon

Well-Known Member
Dear Saint Frankenstein,

I am so sorry for your pain; it is very present to me in your posts and it saddens me to hear that you cannot free yourself from the harms caused upon you.

Forgiveness is not the approval of the injustices you have had to endured. The purpose of forgiveness is not that of releasing another from responsibility and guilt, but of freeing oneself from hatred.

True hatred is a crippling form of agony that does not allow us to live beyond that which has turned us into a victim.

You deserve a chance to live life free from the weight bestowed upon you by your perpetrator(s), but you are the only one able to cut yourself loose from those chains.

No amount of retribution is ever sufficient and the chains of hatred are indifferent to revenge. The only way out of victimisation and into freedom is forgiveness.

I do pray you manage to find the peace you so deserve.

Humbly,
Hermit
I believe forgiveness includes wanting that person to be free of guilt as well.
 

Saint Frankenstein

Wanderer From Afar
Premium Member
Dear Saint Frankenstein,

I am so sorry for your pain; it is very present to me in your posts and it saddens me to hear that you cannot free yourself from the harms caused upon you.

Forgiveness is not the approval of the injustices you have had to endured. The purpose of forgiveness is not that of releasing another from responsibility and guilt, but of freeing oneself from hatred.

True hatred is a crippling form of agony that does not allow us to live beyond that which has turned us into a victim.

You deserve a chance to live life free from the weight bestowed upon you by your perpetrator(s), but you are the only one able to cut yourself loose from those chains.

No amount of retribution is ever sufficient and the chains of hatred are indifferent to revenge. The only way out of victimisation and into freedom is forgiveness.

I do pray you manage to find the peace you so deserve.

Humbly,
Hermit
God bless you, that was very kind of you to say. I'm not at that point yet. The nicest thing I can say about some people is that I hope God has mercy on them, and just leave it at that.
 

Hermit Philosopher

Selflessly here for you
I believe forgiveness includes wanting that person to be free of guilt as well.

Dear Moon

I understand how you mean and though that sentiment -when present (and when sought out!)- is most profound and healing, the truth is that one cannot free another from guilt, for it is not in one’s power to free someone else from [responsibility for] their actions.

What another bestows upon you is always their own “cross” to bear* and even in such circumstances where you play an active part in what occurs, you are only ever responsible for your own actions; never for that of another.

*) One may end up with great burdens from an injustice and it may then seem as though the only “cross” is the one on one’s own back, but spiritually speaking, it is not so.

Humbly,
Hermit
 

Mock Turtle

Oh my, did I say that!
Premium Member
Yea or nay?
Yea for me. The thought of holding onto anger isn't for me.
Well I have no doubt said it before that, to me, such issues are more about the damage that they might continually do to oneself. So, to be avoided. Too many examples it seems of those who are hurt and where they often carry this (anger, bitterness, revenge, etc.) around with them for the rest of, or much of their lives - because this is perhaps seen as being more important and/or it seems betrayal to do any forgiving or anything otherwise. I'm sure we can all understand why many people just can't let go of some things, but in my opinion it is better to forgive even if only nominally and just place some things into the 'not to be thought about too much' areas of one's memories.

I perhaps have had a living example in my mother, who was seriously abused by her father, but who showed no signs of this until the last few years of her life when she confided in me about the abuse - and which did come as a complete surprise even though she and some relatives hardly had a good word to say about their father. She lived her life as being such a warm, cheerful, capable, and thoughtful person, whilst coping so well with us three children. It seems she did just place the abuse into some 'no-go' area of her mind so as this never seemingly to affect her - and of course spending all her attention on the family unit. But I'm sure this isn't possible for all, and I know one example is just anecdotal.
 
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