I used to believe and no longer do, but I can't say for sure no deities exist, so I hate this not knowing. What makes you think there are deities?
'I am that I am' is what God said to Moses. The name of God in this scenario is translated 'I am'. I have been fascinated by this descriptive name as it really gives more than a typical name like Jesus or Immanuel. It gives absolute ambiguity. On one hand it states the obvious that God is God, on the other hand it begs the question of "Well, who or what the heck is God?" It doesn't give us much additional information to God.
Stuff like that really frustrates me and, like you, I hate not knowing why things had to have been so two-sided and not direct to what I want to know.
After struggling for many years and speaking with countless individuals on their interpretations of the great I am. I had arrived to an idea that has allowed me to end my frustrations caused by the obscurity of who is God. I came to believe that I am God. Not I am THE God, but I am the Creator of my existence. God is not a name. 'I am' is the name. God is the entity or institution of eternity. An eternity that I am a part of therefore when I say I'm God. I am saying that God consists of me in combination with every other like existences that have or will exist in eternity. It is my belief that we may not be able to create worlds galaxies, universes etc.... YET. however we will sooner or later have access to those abilities as time is eternal and will eventually allow us to be creators in every meaning of the word.
Now God still has rules and laws that give structure and allow unity and balance for existence. We cannot say that God permits every individual regardless of their actions. God only permits unity and if there is even one contradiction or in other words if there is sin introduced to God, God would no longer exist, therefore perfect obedience to law gives way to eternal unity.
Now, is where I explain my religion is Christ. Because I in terms of perfection am completely ineligible for the perfect unity which is God. There are very few existences that would want to be with me for all eternity, they would most likely cast me out. However, Christ is the core of God. Because God wouldn't exist if no one could participate, Christ became the first perfect connection to God's structure. Because he is the epitome of what eternal unity would need to be, (for all existence to be able to withstand each other for eternity) If we would believe in Him and that He is God and that We are God, the connection we have to Him would eventually connect us to every one else. I can no longer be cast of from God's presence because I have a relationship to a perfect man that in turns has a relationship with everyone else visa versa. As God, my decision to cast someone out from my presence would largely depend on what Christ's relationship is with that person because of my dependency to Him in the first place
I know I have said a lot and there is still a lot more depth in this answer that can be expanded by more questions, but when I realized that I am God, the less I had to worry about who 'He is' and the more I care about who 'I am'.