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To be or not to be…

Ella S.

Dispassionate Goth
Is religion common table talk in the US?

In a sense. In the more Christian parts of the US, it's assumed that you're Christian unless you specify otherwise and churches are the only gathering areas in much of the rural countryside.

Since everyone is assumed to be Christian and Christianity is a core part of their communities, talking about church or the Bible or God is often seen as casual conversation in these places. It's like talking about the weather. To them, Christianity is as obviously true and commonly accepted as the existence of trees.

This makes it particularly difficult if you are not Christian and wish to avoid confrontation because simply being open about not being Christian almost automatically places you into the social outgroup.
 

ChristineM

"Be strong", I whispered to my coffee.
Premium Member
In a sense. In the more Christian parts of the US, it's assumed that you're Christian unless you specify otherwise and churches are the only gathering areas in much of the rural countryside.

Since everyone is assumed to be Christian and Christianity is a core part of their communities, talking about church or the Bible or God is often seen as casual conversation in these places. It's like talking about the weather. To them, Christianity is as obviously true and commonly accepted as the existence of trees.

This makes it particularly difficult if you are not Christian and wish to avoid confrontation because simply being open about not being Christian almost automatically places you into the social outgroup.


A few years ago i took a road trip from Atlanta to New Orleans, Dallas, visits friends in Arizona and ended up in LA.

The leg from Atlanta to New Orleans was scary for an atheist, some ofthose guys carried guns and spoke jesus, or god twice every sentence?

The further west we got the more relaxed things were. So I'm guessing religion is the core conversation in the deep south.
 

Nakosis

Non-Binary Physicalist
Premium Member
To be or not to be a Christian… for the day of thanksgiving. that is the question.

Well I’m not sure what I believe, but tomorrow for thanksgiving when I’m with the family I must have an answer, if the topic comes up. “I don’t know” or “I have no previous experience which allows me to make an educated assertion on the matter of God” will be taken the wrong way. If I say that that means I’m going to hell, in my family’s eyes.

Me and my partner were talking about whether we should act like Christians tomorrow to simplify things. What do you think?

I'm usually just quiet and let folks think whatever they want.
You know, less drama that way.
I usually avoid politics too.
Religion and politics, no good can come of it during family get togethers.
 

Aštra’el

Aštara, Blade of Aštoreth
It is great that whether or not I discuss politics and religion with family and friends, the bonds remain. The loyalty, remains. I am very appreciative of that.

Our Thanksgiving exchanges at the table can be anything… though it does tend to gravitate towards what we have each achieved and experienced throughout the year and what our plans might be moving forward.
 

Left Coast

This Is Water
Staff member
Premium Member
To be or not to be a Christian… for the day of thanksgiving. that is the question.

Well I’m not sure what I believe, but tomorrow for thanksgiving when I’m with the family I must have an answer, if the topic comes up. “I don’t know” or “I have no previous experience which allows me to make an educated assertion on the matter of God” will be taken the wrong way. If I say that that means I’m going to hell, in my family’s eyes.

Me and my partner were talking about whether we should act like Christians tomorrow to simplify things. What do you think?

I enjoy the same struggle. Usually if a religious discussion comes up I can address their particular point without wholesale denouncement of their religion.
 

JustGeorge

Not As Much Fun As I Look
Staff member
Premium Member
A few years ago i took a road trip from Atlanta to New Orleans, Dallas, visits friends in Arizona and ended up in LA.

The leg from Atlanta to New Orleans was scary for an atheist, some ofthose guys carried guns and spoke jesus, or god twice every sentence?

The further west we got the more relaxed things were. So I'm guessing religion is the core conversation in the deep south.

I don't know if its the core conversation in the South, but its definitely mentioned frequently, and always with the assumption that everyone present is Christian.

Where I am(Midwest), its uncommon(but not unheard of) that people will use this default idea that everyone shares their belief, and most tend not to bring up religious conversations unless they're aware of what the other believes. Occasionally, you'll see it defaulted with older folks in rural areas, but that's about it.

If you went from Atlanta to Dallas, sounds like you were right in the thick of it...

I wouldn't say it was scary for me when we traveled through the south this past summer(it was for my oldest son), but I really wasn't comfortable, as a non-Christian.
 

Audie

Veteran Member
Are they going to ask you if you're a Christian?? If you bow your head while someone rambles on, you're just being polite, but if you are point blank asked, tell the truth.
I've been asked, directly and I directly.

Once I was asked to say grace!

But I knew what to say!

SANCTIFY, Oh Lord
This food to our use
And us to thy purposes.

Amen
 

Audie

Veteran Member
I don't know if its the core conversation in the South, but its definitely mentioned frequently, and always with the assumption that everyone present is Christian.

Where I am(Midwest), its uncommon(but not unheard of) that people will use this default idea that everyone shares their belief, and most tend not to bring up religious conversations unless they're aware of what the other believes. Occasionally, you'll see it defaulted with older folks in rural areas, but that's about it.

If you went from Atlanta to Dallas, sounds like you were right in the thick of it...

I wouldn't say it was scary for me when we traveled through the south this past summer(it was for my oldest son), but I really wasn't comfortable, as a non-Christian.
I should try it as a awful alien atheist asian.
 

soulsurvivor

Active Member
Premium Member
Me and my partner were talking about whether we should act like Christians tomorrow to simplify things. What do you think?
I guess I am a bit late for this. However, being a Christian is not such a bad thing, so there is no harm in pretending for a day just to keep peace in the family.
 

lewisnotmiller

Grand Hat
Staff member
Premium Member
Okay. Then isn’t it an easy enough thing to just bow your head and mumble, when others are saying grace?

Why would I do that?
I just sit quietly and politely and let them finish. My kids can make their own choice between doing the same or joining in, but I'm certainly not going to encourage them to pretend to be Christian if they're not.
 

ChristineM

"Be strong", I whispered to my coffee.
Premium Member
Okay. Then isn’t it an easy enough thing to just bow your head and mumble, when others are saying grace?


It is easy but some see it as hypocrisy. It is also easy to understand that other people have different beliefs
 

RestlessSoul

Well-Known Member
Why would I do that?
I just sit quietly and politely and let them finish. My kids can make their own choice between doing the same or joining in, but I'm certainly not going to encourage them to pretend to be Christian if they're not.


Too much to ask, eh? Gotcha.
 

JustGeorge

Not As Much Fun As I Look
Staff member
Premium Member
Too much to ask, eh? Gotcha.

I guess that depends.

Its one thing to politely bow and mumble with friends or family who would willingly put their hands in the 'namaste' position and be reverent if they walked into our family doing puja. I would comfortably pray with those who would comfortably pray with me. I feel we share a common goal in those situations, even if we don't share a common God.

However, if they're the type that would wait outside, or sit in a chair on their phone while it was finished, I'd return that favor, too.
 
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