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How to help someone grow spiritually?

Spirit of Light

Be who ever you want
So the next logical question would be, "Should a believer help or guide other believers to become stronger in their faith without knowing if they want or need to?"
Only through normal discussion about the belif, not to tell you must believe this or that. But in question like, how do you understand this "add in topic"
 

SalixIncendium

अग्निविलोवनन्दः
Staff member
Premium Member
Only through normal discussion about the belif, not to tell you must believe this or that. But in question like, how do you understand this "add in topic"

So if the understandings of this "add in topic" differ, who makes the determination of whose understanding is correct?
 

Hermit Philosopher

Selflessly here for you
In what way can a believer help or guide other believers to become stronger in their faith?

Dear Seeker of White Light,

I can of course, only speak from my own experience but; people come to me with questions about their faith (not mine), when they are struggling to harmonise some aspect of it with something that they’re currently facing in their worldly life. Not otherwise, for obvious reasons.

They’ll say things like: “So and so is doing this and that (to me) and it makes me feel X and do Y, and now I’m thinking; how dare they! Etc, etc… and my faith says so and so about this and I just don’t know how to deal with that person anymore without feeling like this about it …or about them …or myself …or about all of the above.”

They may be seeking reassurance about their point of view but in my experience, that will not change what they are going through.

To change what they’re going through (and where it is heading), what is needed is a change of perspective. So, one
  • Listens.
  • Asks follow-up questions about their faith, thoughts, emotions and (re-)actions.
  • Highlights conflicting ideals, aims and conduct.
  • Offers a different way of looking at what is going on (in light of their faith).
  • And hopefully, with humility and a little luck, inspires them to a different approach.
To succeed, it is important to ensure that they are on board with two things first: 1) that what they are struggling with will not improve without their own efforts and 2) that even if they are “in the right” and others are “in the wrong” in context of what is on the table, they can - and should only want to - improve their own contribution in the equation (on the plus side; it is unusual for a change in one’s own approach, not to lead to any change in another’s).


Humbly
Hermit
 

Spirit of Light

Be who ever you want
Dear Seeker of White Light,

I can of course, only speak from my own experience but; people come to me with questions about their faith (not mine), when they are struggling to harmonise some aspect of it with something that they’re currently facing in their worldly life. Not otherwise, for obvious reasons.

They’ll say things like: “So and so is doing this and that (to me) and it makes me feel X and do Y, and now I’m thinking; how dare they! Etc, etc… and my faith says so and so about this and I just don’t know how to deal with that person anymore without feeling like this about it …or about them …or myself …or about all of the above.”

They may be seeking reassurance about their point of view but in my experience, that will not change what they are going through.

To change what they’re going through (and where it is heading), what is needed is a change of perspective. So, one
  • Listens.
  • Asks follow-up questions about their faith, thoughts, emotions and (re-)actions.
  • Highlights conflicting ideals, aims and conduct.
  • Offers a different way of looking at what is going on (in light of their faith).
  • And hopefully, with humility and a little luck, inspires them to a different approach.
To succeed, it is important to ensure that they are on board with two things first: 1) that what they are struggling with will not improve without their own efforts and 2) that even if they are “in the right” and others are “in the wrong” in context of what is on the table, they can - and should only want to - improve their own contribution in the equation (on the plus side; it is unusual for a change in one’s own approach, not to lead to any change in another’s).


Humbly
Hermit
Thank you for sharing @Hermit Philosopher
 

beenherebeforeagain

Rogue Animist
Premium Member
So if the understandings of this "add in topic" differ, who makes the determination of whose understanding is correct?
In such a relationship/discussion, why must there be a determination of whose understanding is correct?

How support someone--whether spiritual or otherwise? Truly listen. Ask respectful questions. Offer respectful observations from other points of view. Discuss, don't argue.

Where is there any need to determine whose understanding is correct...understanding, of course, that each individual is likely to consider their own understanding is the correct one...
 

SalixIncendium

अग्निविलोवनन्दः
Staff member
Premium Member
In such a relationship/discussion, why must there be a determination of whose understanding is correct?

How support someone--whether spiritual or otherwise? Truly listen. Ask respectful questions. Offer respectful observations from other points of view. Discuss, don't argue.

Where is there any need to determine whose understanding is correct...understanding, of course, that each individual is likely to consider their own understanding is the correct one...

Good response, but I'm reading the OP as implying that the helping believer's has a greater understanding of a specific faith in order to help another believer's faith to become stronger.

If I wanted to make another's math skills stronger, wouldn't need to have a better understanding of math than the other person to make them stronger? If my understanding was equal to or less than the other person, how would asking respectful questions of one another improve the other person's math skills?
 

osgart

Nothing my eye, Something for sure
Faith can be very personal. So deserved trust and trustworthiness is essential to even begin to help another's faith. Listening carefully would be better than speaking. Being critical is out of the question.

The worst thing is assuming to know the other's faith. The best thing would be to offer up an expression of your own faith and see if there is mutual understanding.

If they are moved to engage about their faith then a dialogue could help tremendously. If not, then just being a friend is okay.
 

beenherebeforeagain

Rogue Animist
Premium Member
Good response, but I'm reading the OP as implying that the helping believer's has a greater understanding of a specific faith in order to help another believer's faith to become stronger.

If I wanted to make another's math skills stronger, wouldn't need to have a better understanding of math than the other person to make them stronger? If my understanding was equal to or less than the other person, how would asking respectful questions of one another improve the other person's math skills?
Might improve your math skills?

I'm not reading the OP as implying that the helper has a greater understanding, either specifically or in general. Openness to learning what the other actually believes/is saying might allow both to improve, and by asking the helpee to explain to you will help them better understand and communicate...
 
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