• Welcome to Religious Forums, a friendly forum to discuss all religions in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Access to private conversations with other members.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon!

One can not become selfless by trying to become selfless.

Spirit of Light

Be who ever you want
Selflessness has always been a "goal" for who I am......and thats where it all went wrong :p trying to become nothing????? @Seeker of White Light stop trying to become......stop trying to reach for something....

Because if you don't stop trying it means you are not there yet....just be without being.

Selflessness is not something....its a nothing...
 

ChristineM

"Be strong", I whispered to my coffee.
Premium Member
Selflessness has always been a "goal" for who I am......and thats where it all went wrong :p trying to become nothing????? @Seeker of White Light stop trying to become......stop trying to reach for something....

Because if you don't stop trying it means you are not there yet....just be without being.

Selflessness is not something....its a nothing...


I quite happy to be who i am and concerned with others needs above my own, usually
 

joe1776

Well-Known Member
Selflessness has always been a "goal" for who I am......and thats where it all went wrong :p trying to become nothing????? @Seeker of White Light stop trying to become......stop trying to reach for something....

Because if you don't stop trying it means you are not there yet....just be without being.

Selflessness is not something....its a nothing...
"Just be without being?" What does that mean? Does it mean one should stop trying to grow?

All living things, animal or vegetable, are striving first to survive and then to thrive. IMO, personal development is the way we humans strive.
 
Last edited:

Spirit of Light

Be who ever you want
"Just be without being?" What does that mean? Does it mean one should stop trying to grow?

All living things, animal or vegetable, are striving first to survive and then to thrive. IMO, personal development is the way we humans strive.
Personal growth comes when one stop trying....and just do it.
That has been how things happen to me, as soon as I stop trying to become better or change, it automatically change or things become better in my life.
 

joe1776

Well-Known Member
Personal growth comes when one stop trying....and just do it.
That has been how things happen to me, as soon as I stop trying to become better or change, it automatically change or things become better in my life.
Stop trying and just do it without trying to do it? I wouldn't know how to do that.

For me, I first had to figure out the Selfishness Paradox. When we are selfish at the expense of others, our brains punish our actions with guilt. When we act with the welfare of others foremost in our minds, our brains reward us with pleasure. We feel good about it. Thus, with the brain teaching us using the reward and punishment method, the Selfishness Paradox is created: We serve ourselves best when we act with the welfare of others in mind.
 
Last edited:

Audie

Veteran Member
Stop trying and just do it without trying to do it? I wouldn't know how to do that.

For me, I first had to figure out the Selfishness Paradox. When we are selfish at the expense of others, our brains punish our actions with guilt. When we act with the welfare of others foremost in our minds, our brains reward us with pleasure. We feel good about it. Thus, with the brain teaching us using the reward and punishment method, the Selfishness Paradox is created: We serve ourselves best when we act with the welfare of others in mind.

Its super simple and needs no tying of
spiritual pretzels to underdtand or do.
 

Nakosis

Non-Binary Physicalist
Premium Member
Selflessness has always been a "goal" for who I am......and thats where it all went wrong :p trying to become nothing????? @Seeker of White Light stop trying to become......stop trying to reach for something....

Because if you don't stop trying it means you are not there yet....just be without being.

Selflessness is not something....its a nothing...

I think part of it is letting go of all the things you think you ought to be.
It's a lot of pressure wanting yourself to be something you are not.

IMO, it is ok to look after your own needs on occasion. It is also ok to put the needs of others first because that is what you want to do, not because it is what you think it is something you have to do.

Learn to be happy for yourself, learn to help others to be happy as well works for me
I suspect you are still finding out what works for you.

All them damn expectations from yourself and others just get in the way.
 

Spirit of Light

Be who ever you want
I think part of it is letting go of all the things you think you ought to be.
It's a lot of pressure wanting yourself to be something you are not.

IMO, it is ok to look after your own needs on occasion. It is also ok to put the needs of others first because that is what you want to do, not because it is what you think it is something you have to do.

Learn to be happy for yourself, learn to help others to be happy as well works for me
I suspect you are still finding out what works for you.

All them damn expectations from yourself and others just get in the way.
Personally I have found all those answers for me :)

OP is not about me actually
 

osgart

Nothing my eye, Something for sure
I define selflessness as caring for others welfare without regard or desire for personal benefit. It's the highest form of love. When that opportunity presents itself it's good to bestow that upon people cared about.

Sometimes the personal benefit is to see the other person have their deserved happiness and well being and nothing more.

Love always seems to benefit the giver of it in the hands of the right people.

The hardest selfless act is to give to those who have not the slightest care nor appreciation for your act.

For me I try to give according to what I think deserves the giving. According to deserve and according to need I won't stray from that.

I won't give where my giving is an offense to a person.

I don't think it's good to be totally selfless all the time. Self care is important. However I'm a minimalist, I try not to have too many things.

Sometimes discretion is the greatest virtue; knowing when to be selfless and when not to do it. Enough people out there will leave a selfless person high and dry.
 
Top