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Too honest?

Spirit of Light

Be who ever you want
Would you care to reply specifically to my examples? What path do you take that enables you to avoid the possible harm that can come from always being 100% truthful about everything? Do you think it's always more important to be completely honest than it is to shield a child from unnecessary worries or help bolster a friends confidence when he'd nervous about doing something he really wants to try or boost a spouse's self-esteem instead of harming it?

I agree that a person should strive to be as honest as possible in life, but I also recognize that there are vital relationships people have that are based on the participants not always being 100% honest about everything. There isn't a private relationship I can think of where sometimes a participant doesn't want 100% honesty, they just want support.
One have to use unconditional love to be able to be 100% honest.
Explaining to a child with truth can be done in a non harmful way.
 

Spirit of Light

Be who ever you want
Honesty can sometimes be brutal.
Yes, honesty is brutal when one do not expect it. But my belief is that honesty and truthfulness is the only way to go.

Being honest and truthful is not the same as hurting others on purpose.
But I been the reciever of honesty my self when it huted my pride. Today I am happy they were so honest and truthful to me.
 

oldbadger

Skanky Old Mongrel!
Is it possible to become a too honest person?

How to balance saying the truth, and not hurting someone who ask your opinions about someone, something or about the person who ask?

We are watching a tv series called 'Good Doctor', about an autistic genius who becomes a brilliant surgeon. But he has no perception of when not to speak his exact mind. So when he observes a condition which is terminal he just says so...... 'Oh Yes....you are going to die! About 3 months!'

Actually the series is instructive, educational and heart warming, all at once. :)
 

Spirit of Light

Be who ever you want
We are watching a tv series called 'Good Doctor', about an autistic genius who becomes a brilliant surgeon. But he has no perception of when not to speak his exact mind. So when he observes a condition which is terminal he just says so...... 'Oh Yes....you are going to die! About 3 months!'

Actually the series is instructive, educational and heart warming, all at once. :)
I have seen it too (few episodes) yes it is often brutal to get the truth served.
 

QuestioningMind

Well-Known Member
One have to use unconditional love to be able to be 100% honest.
Explaining to a child with truth can be done in a non harmful way.

Explaining to a child with truth in a non-harmful way is not the same as being 100% honest. The way you tell them with truth in a non harmful way is to be as truthful as you can without causing harm. If your child asks you if you are worried, you admit that you are worried, but you don't tell them you're so worried that it's giving you ulcers. All 100% honesty would accomplish is your child possibly developing an ulcer of their own.

Though being 100% honest is laudable in most cases, there are instances when only being partially honest is the decent and moral thing to do. I remember when my uncle was killed in a car accident. Some big piece of farm equipment had swerved out into the road and he crashed into it going about 50 mph. The whole front end of his car was smashed in and he'd been trapped inside. He suffered for like two hours while they tried to free him, but died before they could. Everyone involved agreed that it would be cruel and heartless to be 100% honest with my aunt concerning the details of her husband's death. Everyone thought it was the moral and humane thing to tell her that my uncle had died almost instantly upon impact, because being 100% honest with her wouldn't provide her with any benefit whatsoever and would only result in further heartache and grief.

I agree being 100% honest should almost always be your goal, but I can think of far too many instances in which not being 100% honest is the right and moral action to take to agree that you should be 100% honest 100% of the time. How would you possibly be able to tell my aunt with unconditional love the 100% truth about her husband's death in a way that would benefit her or at least not make her loss even more difficult to bear?
 

Spirit of Light

Be who ever you want
Explaining to a child with truth in a non-harmful way is not the same as being 100% honest. The way you tell them with truth in a non harmful way is to be as truthful as you can without causing harm. If your child asks you if you are worried, you admit that you are worried, but you don't tell them you're so worried that it's giving you ulcers. All 100% honesty would accomplish is your child possibly developing an ulcer of their own.

Though being 100% honest is laudable in most cases, there are instances when only being partially honest is the decent and moral thing to do. I remember when my uncle was killed in a car accident. Some big piece of farm equipment had swerved out into the road and he crashed into it going about 50 mph. The whole front end of his car was smashed in and he'd been trapped inside. He suffered for like two hours while they tried to free him, but died before they could. Everyone involved agreed that it would be cruel and heartless to be 100% honest with my aunt concerning the details of her husband's death. Everyone thought it was the moral and humane thing to tell her that my uncle had died almost instantly upon impact, because being 100% honest with her wouldn't provide her with any benefit whatsoever and would only result in further heartache and grief.

I agree being 100% honest should almost always be your goal, but I can think of far too many instances in which not being 100% honest is the right and moral action to take to agree that you should be 100% honest 100% of the time. How would you possibly be able to tell my aunt with unconditional love the 100% truth about her husband's death in a way that would benefit her or at least not make her loss even more difficult to bear?
I dont have answers to your question because I do not know.
Each situation, each person we meet will experience us differently, so speaking 100% is not an answer sett in stone. Using different words to different people and situation but saying it as it is.

I don't ask others to try what I try.
 

QuestioningMind

Well-Known Member
I dont have answers to your question because I do not know.
Each situation, each person we meet will experience us differently, so speaking 100% is not an answer sett in stone. Using different words to different people and situation but saying it as it is.

I don't ask others to try what I try.

I'm trying to get a grasp on what you try and why you try it, but you seem to be somewhat elusive. I think I've made a pretty good case that there are situations where being 100% honest isn't the humane or moral thing to do... so unless you have an argument for why I'm wrong, I have to wonder why you'd try to be 100% honest in every situation. That's assuming that your goal is to do the humane and moral thing.
 

Spirit of Light

Be who ever you want
I'm trying to get a grasp on what you try and why you try it, but you seem to be somewhat elusive. I think I've made a pretty good case that there are situations where being 100% honest isn't the humane or moral thing to do... so unless you have an argument for why I'm wrong, I have to wonder why you'd try to be 100% honest in every situation. That's assuming that your goal is to do the humane and moral thing.
I have no need or wish to prove you wrong.

My "reason" is spiritual, its a part of the practice
 

Spirit of Light

Be who ever you want
Sorry, it's just you started this thread and I found the topic interesting. I just assumed you started it because you wanted spark a discussion.
Discussion is always welcome, but discussions does not have to be based on "I am right and you are wrong"

Your view is as valid as mine.
 

QuestioningMind

Well-Known Member
Discussion is always welcome, but discussions does not have to be based on "I am right and you are wrong"

Your view is as valid as mine.

This isn't about I am right or you are wrong. I'm simply trying to get a better understanding of what your view is and what you base it on and whether or not you understand my view and what parts you may or may not agree with. The question you posed is significant and requires some detailed conversation. I'm trying to have a an in-depth discussion, but apparently you see it as a confrontation.
 

Spirit of Light

Be who ever you want
This isn't about I am right or you are wrong. I'm simply trying to get a better understanding of what your view is and what you base it on and whether or not you understand my view and what parts you may or may not agree with. The question you posed is significant and requires some detailed conversation. I'm trying to have a an in-depth discussion, but apparently you see it as a confrontation.
My personal view is that full honesty and truthflness is the most important aspects of life.
 
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