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When even going to the mall becomes a challenge...

Spirit of Light

Be who ever you want
This is a bit embaresing :oops:
But to be able to go to the mall where I live i first have to take a train for 4 minutes, and then do my shopping as Quick as I can, especially if there are many people there.

I woke up this morning and realized i had to go shopping :oops:. It does not sound scary to others to go shopping... i even used to love doing it too before. Now it is my personal hell :oops:
So early in the morning i went down to the train station, luckely i was alone there, trainride went ok :)
Then....my early morning plan to go shopping when nobody else was there went wrong :eek: groups of young people in the grocary store :oops: crap......i couldn't do it...i had to wait until they left then run in...do my shopping and get out.

What will i do the day i can't take the train due to my fear of people :oops:
 

Ella S.

Dispassionate Goth
Hey, there's nothing here to be embarrassed about. I think it's brave that you're willing to be this open and vulnerable. That sounds like a rough time.
 

Spirit of Light

Be who ever you want
Hey, there's nothing here to be embarrassed about. I think it's brave that you're willing to be this open and vulnerable. That sounds like a rough time.
Thank you @Ella S.
Being afraid of people is one of the worsed feelings, because I am fully aware others are not a danger to me, its a mental thing. One on one is not a problem for me, but if there are groups of 3 or more....:eek: then I begin to struggle.

It can be that I do react stronger to those issues now when I going to treatment for anxiety:) but living alone is both a blessing and a curse.
And if I stop trying to challenge my self on this, I have lost.
 

Ella S.

Dispassionate Goth
Thank you @Ella S.
Being afraid of people is one of the worsed feelings, because I am fully aware others are not a danger to me, its a mental thing. One on one is not a problem for me, but if there are groups of 3 or more....:eek: then I begin to struggle.

It can be that I do react stronger to those issues now when I going to treatment for anxiety:) but living alone is both a blessing and a curse.
And if I stop trying to challenge my self on this, I have lost.

How is treatment going?
 

Spirit of Light

Be who ever you want
How is treatment going?
I have just been there a few times yet, but I feel safe with my theraphist:) i go ones a week right now, but can call them if things get difficult:)
I think they want me on a light medication, but I will know it next session:)
The first six appointments are mostly to be able to set a correct diagnosis, after that the treatment will begin fully.

So far social anxiety disorder and agoraphobia has been established as my issue
 

ChristineM

"Be strong", I whispered to my coffee.
Premium Member
This is a bit embaresing :oops:
But to be able to go to the mall where I live i first have to take a train for 4 minutes, and then do my shopping as Quick as I can, especially if there are many people there.

I woke up this morning and realized i had to go shopping :oops:. It does not sound scary to others to go shopping... i even used to love doing it too before. Now it is my personal hell :oops:
So early in the morning i went down to the train station, luckely i was alone there, trainride went ok :)
Then....my early morning plan to go shopping when nobody else was there went wrong :eek: groups of young people in the grocary store :oops: crap......i couldn't do it...i had to wait until they left then run in...do my shopping and get out.

What will i do the day i can't take the train due to my fear of people :oops:


I know how your feel. It terrifies my brother in law. He got to the stage of discovering a 24 hour supermarket has very few customers between 2 and 4 am. So that's when he goes
 

Spirit of Light

Be who ever you want
I know how your feel. It terrifies my brother in law. He got to the stage of discovering a 24 hour supermarket has very few customers between 2 and 4 am. So that's when he goes
Yes, morning or very late just before midnight is perfect time to shop :)

Its a bit strange to be afraid of other people....and to those who do not know or understand. It is a honest fear of being close to others, or thought of being judged by others
 

ChristineM

"Be strong", I whispered to my coffee.
Premium Member
Yes, morning or very late just before midnight is perfect time to shop :)

Its a bit strange to be afraid of other people....and to those who do not know or understand. It is a honest fear of being close to others, or thought of being judged by others

Brother in law is schizophrenic and hears what he thinks is constantly verbal abuse when i know people are just chatting among themselves.
 

Gargovic Malkav

Well-Known Member
This is a bit embaresing :oops:
But to be able to go to the mall where I live i first have to take a train for 4 minutes, and then do my shopping as Quick as I can, especially if there are many people there.

I woke up this morning and realized i had to go shopping :oops:. It does not sound scary to others to go shopping... i even used to love doing it too before. Now it is my personal hell :oops:
So early in the morning i went down to the train station, luckely i was alone there, trainride went ok :)
Then....my early morning plan to go shopping when nobody else was there went wrong :eek: groups of young people in the grocary store :oops: crap......i couldn't do it...i had to wait until they left then run in...do my shopping and get out.

What will i do the day i can't take the train due to my fear of people :oops:

Very relatable, finally someone else who knows what it's like.
In my experience it can be hard to get others to understand because they try to rationalize it.
But rationalizing doesn't necessarily take away the emotions.

You said you used to love shopping.
When did this change?
 

Spirit of Light

Be who ever you want
Very relatable, finally someone else who knows what it's like.
In my experience it can be hard to get others to understand because they try to rationalize it.
But rationalizing doesn't necessarily take away the emotions.

You said you used to love shopping.
When did this change?
My love for public places, shopping, museum, Parks, and so on ended very quick after the bus accidant in 2015...so yes I have had these issues for a long time, but I have just fought through them and became worse and worse.
And now its really difficult to see my life falling apart, like I can't work, can't go shopping as I used to do. Difficult meeting new people because they scare me.
 

Gargovic Malkav

Well-Known Member
And if I stop trying to challenge my self on this, I have lost.

Yes, I try to find a balance in this.
I don't look it up all the time because it'll drive me crazy.
Even when I don't feel scared and self-conscious around people (on some days I'm more stable than others), they still make me feel drained easily.

However, when I always avoid such social situations, the "scary" people out there only become scarier.
Prolonged isolation can also lead to developing an "isolated personal culture" and delusions, which can make dealing with others even harder.
 

Spirit of Light

Be who ever you want
Yes, I try to find a balance in this.
I don't look it up all the time because it'll drive me crazy.
Even when I don't feel scared and self-conscious around people (on some days I'm more stable than others), they still make me feel drained easily.

However, when I always avoid such social situations, the "scary" people out there only become scarier.
Prolonged isolation can also lead to developing an "isolated personal culture" and delusions, which can make dealing with others even harder.
You hit the nail on the head....
Personality i try to gently push my boundaries of what my comfort zone has become. Telling my self " the trainride is just 5 more minutes, or if I come to a place full of people, I do try to expose my self a tiny bit, then two things can happen. I get panic and get out, or i withstand for a few minutes.

But when I get home i am so drained i fall asleep
 

Gargovic Malkav

Well-Known Member
You hit the nail on the head....
Personality i try to gently push my boundaries of what my comfort zone has become. Telling my self " the trainride is just 5 more minutes, or if I come to a place full of people, I do try to expose my self a tiny bit, then two things can happen. I get panic and get out, or i withstand for a few minutes.

But when I get home i am so drained i fall asleep

I'm curious on how the therapy is going to work out for you.
Godspeed! :)
 

Ashoka

श्री कृष्णा शरणं मम
This is a bit embaresing :oops:
But to be able to go to the mall where I live i first have to take a train for 4 minutes, and then do my shopping as Quick as I can, especially if there are many people there.

I woke up this morning and realized i had to go shopping :oops:. It does not sound scary to others to go shopping... i even used to love doing it too before. Now it is my personal hell :oops:
So early in the morning i went down to the train station, luckely i was alone there, trainride went ok :)
Then....my early morning plan to go shopping when nobody else was there went wrong :eek: groups of young people in the grocary store :oops: crap......i couldn't do it...i had to wait until they left then run in...do my shopping and get out.

What will i do the day i can't take the train due to my fear of people :oops:

I'm so sorry that happened. *hug* You are brave to admit your fear. I get that way around the holidays here, our mall gets so crowded it makes me want to cry.
 
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