I tried to be a Christian for 30 years, while I willingly ignored the moral conflict I felt between believing in a loving God and suffering the ongoing emotional trauma of severe childhood abuse. It took me almost three decades to come to terms with the fact that I'll be okay if I'm not a Christian. It took me a very long time to overcome the guilt and fear of turning away from God, but I made it. I turned completely away from the Christian faith last year, so I don't consider myself to be a Christian anymore. I haven't prayed to God or regularly attended church or read the Bible in months. It took me several months to detox from Christianity, but I'm glad I separated myself from it. Honestly, I don't regret my decision to forsake my faith, and I don't feel guilty and afraid anymore, either. If anything, I feel liberated, and at peace. I've been in what I call a "spiritual limbo" for the last few months, but I'm okay with it.