Work Stories Of Awkwardness

[Revoltingest]

When Daughter worked at a banquet facility at the university,
she once had a hall filled with bar mitzvah celebrants.
In another room, a group was having a Sound Of Music event.
Problem....
Children dressed as Nazis were coming to the bar mitzvah,
& taking Star Of David cupcakes. Some adults were upset.

What have you seen?

 

[Shadow Wolf]

I had a lady get in my car with her husband, little girl, and taxadermied dead dog and a few what appeared to be large fox tails. And they went from their home to Walmart.

 

[Revoltingest]

A real estate broker & potential buyer I knew were
checking out a building. Somehow....I don't know
if they knocked on the door....they walked into a
room with a young guy & gal in the throes of passion.
The guy seemed interrupted, but the gal cried...
"Don't stop! Don't stop!"

 

[Brickjectivity]

As a teen I worked in a grocery store. At night I kept hearing a noise in the attic. It scared me a little, and I imagined someone was up there. It was spooky, kind of dark in the back of the store, and I had to pass through some dark areas when no one was around. Once or twice I said "Is someone there?"

A week or so later the store manager was angry with me. A homeless person had made themselves a nest in the attic. The manager thought I was hiding this from him. The person made a terrible mess, too, just lots of trash and beer bottles up there. They were coming out at night and stealing. I had no idea.

 

[JustGeorge]

I had a friend at work whos first language was not English.

While most staff took on their clients by themselves, her and I tended to team up and help each other out. It was just easier, and much more fun. When I needed her help, I'd beckon her over and say "come, lets go bond." One day, she tried to do the same. "Come on, lets go do bondage." I corrected her. Let her know I wasn't into her like that. She didn't get it. We had a long talk.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

There were a couple of employees at a job I worked for that had kind of a heated but friendly relationship - think @Revoltingest and @Wu Wei or Revoltingest and @sun rise at times, or Revoltingest and... but anyway...

One was old and one young. The young man as usual told the old man he hoped he quit or was fired. As he did, the old man, who often gave jabs back and could hold his own, was rubbing his eyes because he had his glasses off, something he seemed to do about every night as routine. A random customer came up, told the young man "You made that poor old man cry!" and asked to see the manager. The old man gave a confused look but didn't say anything. When the customer saw that the manager was standing next to the two, casually sipping a soda, she, the customer, stormed off.

 

[SigurdReginson]

I have all of the awkward work place stories, but I'll just pick one. Let me introduce you to a character we'll call "Bill."

So a couple months back as I was sorting out the patient's food situations, I was going from room to room. I knocked on this gentleman's doorway and asked if I could come in. He says "Sure, come right on in!" I heard him grunting, but this isn't anything new for me since the patients I deal with are in all kinds of pain. So I pull the curtain back and sitting legs wide open on the commode was Bill just looking up at me bald faced, and he's really trying to pinch off a turd - his face is red from the effort...

I look up and immediately start studying the complexities of the tiles in the ceiling in an attempt to avert my gaze and say, "Oh! I'll come by later." He says "Nah, let's just get this over with..." As he's continuing to struggle against his adversary, his stubborn, unrelenting turd. I just say "It's ok! I'll be back later on." He just says "Well all right, suit yourself!" I wasn't looking, but I assume he was shrugging in that moment, so I made myself scarce and left.

I made sure to wait quite a while before coming back... When I did though, he was laying in bed with his patient gown raised up.... And he was touching his gooch constantly. I just thought to myself, "You know, maybe Bill's right. Let's just get this over with." So I start going through my spiel with him about his dietary restrictions and I try to work with him on getting him something he can enjoy for lunch.

As I'm talking to this guy, he's friendly enough, and he's cognizant and focused on the task at hand, but damn... He just can't stop scratching and idly flopping his gooch around. I don't think he was deriving any kind of sexual enjoyment - I just think he couldn't care less. He has mastered the art of not giving a damn!

Every interaction I had with Bill was like this... Every time I went into his room, it was something new and equally unflattering/terrible.

Now, don't get me wrong... Working where I do, I see a lot of old naked people doing all kinds of things, but Bill... He was probably one of the most shameless and unabashed people I've met yet.

 

[VoidCat]

I don't work but one of the staff here at the group home walked in on me doing nonsexual petplay in my room. I was on all fours with a stuff animal in my mouth. Never seen someone look so confused.

 

[ChristineM]

We had created a mimic for a chemical plant. Installation day, we obtained our work permit, entered the building, downed the mainframe, began installing the software when a crowd of angry workers and management types burst into the room. Wrong building, we should have been next door, we had stopped a process mid cycle that our insurance paid out £1/4 million to settle.

We were doing a job for "a" navy, an admiral had flown to the UK to inspect our processes, i picked him up from the airport, guided him around the studio, took him to lunch and was heading back to the airport where he was booked in a hotel until his return flight the following day. In the car his hand slid across and he began fondling my thigh. My hand flew of its own accord banged his hand away, continued up and cracked him in the face. Perhaps i am the only person ever to hit a high ranking military officer and not cause an international incident.

Another mimic, this one for an oil rig, the work was issued to us late, and had a deadline with horrendous late fees (as subcontractors not our problem). Non the less we worked 24 hours a day to finish. The day of delivery came. It's so empowering to have a helicopter land on the grass across the road from the studio and keeping it waiting while we finished testing. The helicopter landed on the rig, the engineers installed the mimic and turned on the computers with less than 5 minutes to spare before the £10 million per day over run charge came into effect

 

[VoidCat]

In the car his hand slid across and he began fondling my thigh. My hand flew of its own accord banged his hand away, continued up and cracked him in the face. Perhaps i am the only person ever to hit a high ranking military officer and not cause an international incident.

He got what was coming.

 

[Revoltingest]

I once had a commercial building with one tenant who was
a bit of an arse....snide...disrespectful...not quite mean.
One day, Jon (a maintenance guy & good friend) was
working near the front door to the building. Tenant was
escorting some associates. Jon opened the door for
them all. Tenant said it was nice to have a doorman.
Jon told me about it. No big deal. Just a funny story
about Tenant being a jerk.

I smelled opportunity.

I sent a letter to the head honcho of Tenant's employer,
saying how deeply offended Jon was. I related how
he takes pride in his trade, & was shamed by being
treated as a doorman. I received a sincere response.

Tenant became a paragon of politeness.
Jon & I chortled with glee.

 

[ChristineM]

He got what was coming.

Yes, but after, the enormity of smacking an admiral across the face had be trembling. Luckily he was so embarrassed he never mentioned it and we could finish the work

 

[Vinayaka]

During my first round of student teaching, the grade 6s had school sponsored swimming lessons as part of PE. I hadn't used the only pair of trunks I had for a few years, and I didn't know elastic wore out. So I dove in, and the elastic broke at the surface. The trunks made it to just below my knees, but I managed to spread my legs far enough to prevent them from coming right off. I grabbed them and hauled them back up, then snuck out of the pool. Fortunately no kids noticed. That evening guess who went and bought some new trunks.

 

[Brickjectivity]

Yes, but after, the enormity of smacking an admiral across the face had be trembling. Luckily he was so embarrassed he never mentioned it and we could finish the work

He could have been kicked out of the military. Its against the rules. Military people are held to a different standard. If they get into trouble with civil government it results in problems for them with their command. For example a military officer had better not have debt collectors after them.

 

[ChristineM]

He could have been kicked out of the military. Its against the rules. Military people are held to a different standard. If they get into trouble with civil government it results in problems for them with their command. For example a military officer had better not have debt collectors after them.

I was told that some time afterwards but left it as it lay, good contact, no harm done but embarrassment.

 

[Brickjectivity]

I was told that some time afterwards but left it as it lay, good contact, no harm done but embarrassment.

Where is your sense of vengeance?

 

[Revoltingest]

Where is your sense of vengeance?

He harried.
She parried.
All was handled.

 

[ChristineM]

Where is your sense of vengeance?

Lucrative contacts have more power than vengeance.

 

[Brickjectivity]

He harried.
She parried.
All was handled.

She could have given him a black eye and a shin splint, and he still wouldn't have said anything about it.

 

[Revoltingest]

She could have given him a black eye and a shin splint, and he still wouldn't have said anything about it.

But that doesn't rhyme.