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Christian women and lust

Kooky

Freedom from Sanity
Back when we lived in hogans, caves, etc., one usually got married in their early to mid-teen years. Now, in the USA, the average age of first marriage is in the latter 20's. Thus, telling the average couple that they have to suppress the sex drive for that long ain't working out too well, especially since the sex drive is at its highest in the late teens.

Gotta go.
It's a bit weird to assume that people would stay sexually abstinent for their entire pre-marriage lives, I agree, but I don't think that was widely practiced among the everyday folks. Even the Old Testament does not seem to particularly care about pre-marital sex, being largely concerned with issues of parenthood and household maintenance - as one would expect from a religious document originating in a tribal culture whose livelihood was based on subsistence agriculture and animal husbandry.

From what I gather, it was pretty common for people in many agricultural societies, including pre-industrial Europe, to marry in their late 20s, as married couples were expected to lead their own farmstead, or at least run a household together, an activity that even people in ancient times already considered teenagers largely unsuited for. The practice of seeking out teenage brides in Mediterranean civilizations may have originated in attempts to mitigate the risk of wived dying in childbed, but I don't know if that's accurate, nor do I think that was a particularly well founded practice to begin with.
 

Orbit

I'm a planet
Women have just as much desire as men do; there is just as much variation between individuals. It's religion that has suggested otherwise, and often in the opposite direction, with women as evil temptresses.
 

Psalm23

Well-Known Member
The idea that women are a temptation to men that must be controlled by hiding women and shaming the public display of their sexuality and sensuality is a common trope in many religions, but it's rarely stated as a weakness of men that women don't share textualy. It tends to be more cultural, but defended, carried and transmitted by religious authorities. In other words, you could have those religions without those implication, but the clerics and theologians of those religions have chosen otherwise.

The purity culture tends to do this in bolded. I grew up with modesty teaching and much of the time the focus is on the girls. And while the intention may be good however girls are often given the message to hide your body. It is an idea and message that needs to stop in the churches in my view.
 

Kenny

Face to face with my Father
Premium Member
Haha. I hope so too. You get what I mean, right?
Yes... I do understand.

I don't think some type of "law" or requirement will change anything. It doesn't change the heart of a person. We teach our children modesty but the reality is you could cover a person with just the eyes showing and someone can lust.
 

Unveiled Artist

Veteran Member
Not being an authority on women, period, let alone Christian women, I cannot speak to how strongly they are tempted sexually, or how well they stifle that desire compared to men.

All I will say is that I have noticed over the years that Christians, both men and women, suffer from the enforced sexual ignorance they're usually being reared in, to a significant degree, as they tend to make really poor decisions regarding their sexual pairings when they become adults. They marry way too soon, and very often for all the wrong reasons, and then end up suffering the consequences. And if that isn't bad enough, in many instances, they struggle to maintain the failed union for far too long; increasing the damage.

I can understand most of this, but marrying to soon is a cultural moral trait but to those who don't follow that moral, may lead just as good lives together before marriage than after. A couple has the same feelings before and after marriage, so the only thing that is different is their exchanging vows. Before they exchange vows they didn't love their partner less than after-so marriage would be come a ritual to show marriage or commitment is confirmed but not one to determine whether one has a healthy relationship or not.

It's kind of like if you have a line and a couple step over the line from not married to marriage, what about them as changed by their new position? (Rituals are fine in and of itself but sometimes when it dictates the lives and well-being of others, it can get out of hand)
 

metis

aged ecumenical anthropologist
Even the Old Testament does not seem to particularly care about pre-marital sex
Exactly, as there's a differentiation made between pre-marital sex versus adultery.

From what I gather, it was pretty common for people in many agricultural societies, including pre-industrial Europe, to marry in their late 20s
I have never seen any evidence of it being anywhere near that late. Even here in the States when I first started teaching [1967], the average age of first marriage was 23 for males and 21 for females.
 

Vee

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
Does christianity teach women have more control over their lust than men?

The rules in the Bible are the same for men and women, so both are required to have self control. Is it easier for one or the other? I guess that must depend on the person.
 

The Hammer

[REDACTED]
Premium Member
Does christianity teach women have more control over their lust than men?

I read it in another thread, but to me lust control is a biological thing and no different than woman in severity just culture tends to say otherwise.

Does spirituality say men have less control then women though biologically it is not so?

This seems to be the case with religions that are more patriarchal in nature, which Christianity is. Virginity is placed on a pedestal, and women are desexed.

This seemed to have started around the advent of agriculture, where women switched from gathering 50% of the groups dietary needs away from home, to needing to produce children to work the farm, and handle domestic pursuits.
 

The Hammer

[REDACTED]
Premium Member
I really think it must be a terrible imposition for men to get a raging ________ every time they see a woman in decent clothing... a glimpse of ankle and there is no controlling some men.

Terrible imposition, no. Uncomfortable depending on the pair of pants I'm wearing, yes.
 

Unveiled Artist

Veteran Member
The rules in the Bible are the same for men and women, so both are required to have self control. Is it easier for one or the other? I guess that must depend on the person.

In relation to modesty and dress, it sounds like men are victims of not controlling the're lust.

I did reading scripture about women not speaking in the church. Of course the genesis story doesn't create a equal standing between men and women. There is a firm if seperation but "cause his says so" doesn't quite explain the reasoning.
 

Subduction Zone

Veteran Member
You are going to get a bucket load of indignant men when you ask questions like that.

I left church just before the age of "you should dress 'properly'" was fired at me, the properly meaning so as not to inflame men. So it never really effected me.

But my 2cents

I really think it must be a terrible imposition for men to get a raging ________ every time they see a woman in decent clothing... a glimpse of ankle and there is no controlling some men.
That is why I am prescribing a full burka for you. You have caused more than your fair share of such incidents:rolleyes:

<sigh> I miss being that young at times.
 

ChristineM

"Be strong", I whispered to my coffee.
Premium Member
That is why I am prescribing a full burka for you. You have caused more than your fair share of such incidents:rolleyes:

<sigh> I miss being that young at times.

As i said, a terrible imposition when men stand out in the crowd just because there is a woman present
 

Clara Tea

Well-Known Member
Does christianity teach women have more control over their lust than men?

I read it in another thread, but to me lust control is a biological thing and no different than woman in severity just culture tends to say otherwise.

Does spirituality say men have less control then women though biologically it is not so?

Lust is from both biology and upbringing.

Isaiah 57:7-9 (puts on perfume, looked at naked bodies).

Jeremiah 13:27: shameful prostitution, unclean

Ezekiel 16:36: Detestable idols cause naked exposure (according to God).

Ezekiel 23:5 wife (Oholah), lusted after lovers as a prostitute.

Matthew 5:28 committed adultery in his heart if he looked lustfully.

Romans 1:26 God gave shameful lusts
 

ChristineM

"Be strong", I whispered to my coffee.
Premium Member
Well. :D I don't want naked bodies walking around. :D

Interesting, the human being is the only animal who wears clothes, (although that some wear houses).

The human body is really quite beautiful and yet we are forced to cover it up in public for what?

Clothing was first used as protection from the elements. Later the modesty and desire (lust) aspect was introduced, i am not sure of this but most probably by religion who considered the human body to be evil in some way.

I for one would be quite happy to be naked when then the weather permitted. If only some people could keep their indignation, embarrassment and/lust under control
 

Kenny

Face to face with my Father
Premium Member
Interesting, the human being is the only animal who wears clothes, (although that some wear houses).

The human body is really quite beautiful and yet we are forced to cover it up in public for what?

Clothing was first used as protection from the elements. Later the modesty and desire (lust) aspect was introduced, i am not sure of this but most probably by religion who considered the human body to be evil in some way.

I for one would be quite happy to be naked when then the weather permitted. If only some people could keep their indignation, embarrassment and/lust under control

Not really. Animals have fur coats. Turtles have houses. Birds have feathers.

Yes... human bodies are very beautiful. Why cover up? Well... I guess it depends on where one comes from. There are nudist colonies.

Sex is completely nude too and very beautiful, should we do that in public too?

Or maybe when someone says "I do" it includes "For your eyes only?"
 
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