Intermarriage

[WalterTrull]

Uhmm... my wife's a girl. Does that count? We have a few rituals too. Well, we don't practice them as much anymore, now that we're in our 70's and 80's. Arthritis you know.

 

[stvdv]

not available in most European countries

Thanks, good to see that I am not alone, being excluded

Italy is the same as Holland. Not available. And this site is really well protected, normally I get through with my "Tor Browser", but not this time.
I did get trough once, but then it showed me that I must pay to see it

I think interfaith marriages are harmful and ought to be avoided, if one is strict about one's religion. See Indigo's experience.

Hi Rival,
You replied. Don't tell me you could open the link? And if you could, tell me the trick please.
You live in England, or is England (in this particular instance) not part of "most European countries"?

 

[Rival]

Thanks, good to see that I am not alone, being excluded

Italy is the same as Holland. Not available. And this site is really well protected, normally I get through with my "Tor Browser", but not this time.
I did get trough once, but then it showed me that I must pay to see it


Hi Rival,
You replied. Don't tell me you could open the link? And if you could, tell me the trick please.
You live in England, or is England (in this particular instance) not part of "most European countries"?

No, I just replied to the thread anyway.

 

[stvdv]

I'd never marry a person from another religion
And that includes people with no religion
Because I'm very serious about my religion

I'd never marry a person
Because I'm very serious about my religion

 

[Rival]

I'd never marry a person
Because I'm very serious about my religion

How come no marriage?

 

[RabbiO]

Are you intermarried?

I’m a man. My wife is a woman.

Does that count?

 

[stvdv]

How come no marriage?

When I was 10 I told everyone "I will never marry a woman and I will not have children"
People always said "You can't claim that, you don't know what happens"

At least this part of God's Plan for me I had right

 

[Rival]

When I was 10 I told everyone "I will never marry a woman and I will not have children"
People always said "You can't claim that, you don't know what happens"

At least this part of God's Plan for me I had right

I'm just curious why?

 

[Vinayaka]

I think it is quite the opposite.
When two partners are of two different cultural backgrounds, and they respect each other's uniqueness, a marriage can have solid basis and last.
When two spouses intend to be the clone of one another, they will be more and more intransigent with one another.
I guess any psychologist will underline that the reason why many marriages end is the lack of mutual understanding. The lack of intellectual freedom that makes the two partners special to one another.

This is just my opinion, of course

Key phrase being 'respect each other's uniqueness' . I concur with that. Unfortunately, in the many failed marriages I've watched over the years, that is often simply not the case.

 

[stvdv]

How come no marriage?

I'm just curious why?

God told me why I should not marry, but that was only meant for me
Because most do marry (not to live alone), I best share it with people who choose the same path
The message I got, can be confusing for people who need to marry. I don't want to create confusion

 

[loverofhumanity]

I have been married to a Burmese lady for 42 years. We are both Baha’is.

 

[Jayhawker Soule]

I think interfaith marriages are harmful and ought to be avoided, if one is strict about one's religion.

I was about to take issue with this, in part because I detest clannishness, but I'm afraid that I must agree (although I would probably substitute 'serious' for 'strict').

 

[Revoltingest]

I’m a man. My wife is a woman.

Does that count?

You think that's bad?
Mrs Revolt is an east coast Democrat from a mixed Christian & Muslim family.
I"m...you know.
But her uncle inducted me into the Pa Taitai Club.
(Pa Taitai = fear wife)
So we endure.

 

[Debater Slayer]

I think interfaith marriages are harmful and ought to be avoided, if one is strict about one's religion. See Indigo's experience.

I was about to take issue with this, in part because I detest clannishness, but I'm afraid that I must agree (although I would probably substitute 'serious' for 'strict').

I tend to agree as well, although I believe an interfaith marriage between, say, an atheist and a strict Buddhist or an atheist and a strict Shinto would generally be less likely to result in relationship problems than one between an atheist and a strict Christian, strict Muslim, etc., due to the respective nature of each religion.

 

[Jainarayan]

I’m Hindu (I was raised Catholic, converted to Eastern Orthodox for about 10 years), my husband is Catholic. We respect each other’s beliefs. He prays to his saints, I go into my shrine room and do puja, for which time I am left undisturbed. When I come out of the room and put a piece of fruit on the counter he asks if it’s blessed (prasad from puja) and eats it. So yeah, for us it works. But I will say that if I were with a strict “those are false gods” Christian I would put my foot down and say “enough, knock it off” because criticism of my beliefs would indicate disrespect at a more basic level.

 

[Estro Felino]

I’m Hindu (I was raised Catholic, converted to Eastern Orthodox for about 10 years), my husband is Catholic. We respect each other’s beliefs. He prays to his saints, I go into my shrine room and do puja, for which time I am left undisturbed. When I come out of the room and put a piece of fruit on the counter he asks if it’s blessed (prasad from puja) and eats it. So yeah, for us it works.

That's beautiful. I am so glad for you guys.

 

[Jainarayan]

That's beautiful. I am so glad for you guys.

Thanks.

 

[Jayhawker Soule]

Key phrase being 'respect each other's uniqueness' .

But that, in and of itself, is very thin gruel indeed if one is serious about one's religion. It's a good deal more complicated than being willing to celebrate both Sukkot and Ganesh Chaturthi.

More than 'respect each other's uniqueness,' one must have informed respect of each other's religious requirements, and then think long and hard about the raising of one's children.

 

[stvdv]

I think it depends a lot on the religiosity of the 2 individuals, or how adamant one or both are about being right. I've seen many, and some work, while others are disasters. I'd personally not recommend it simply because it dramatically increases the chances of failure.
The entire idea expands outside religion into politics, languages, rural/urban, and more. I can't see a strong Democrat and a strong Republican in the states these days getting along.

I agree with this. IF 1 believes his/her religion is more valid than the religion of the other THEN the other's religion is belittled. And that will set bad blood between them. IF the other is a pleaser it might last a few years, but it is not an healthy relation, even if they continue it till the end (IMO)

Marriage is always a big challenge. Why make it even bigger, by going for intermarriage?
But if both have the same non judgmental view towards religion then there is no additional religious barrier (still plenty of challenges though)

I think it is quite the opposite.

The opposite? I don't understand. I am curious which part you think is "the opposite"

When two partners are of two different cultural backgrounds, and they respect each other's uniqueness, a marriage can have solid basis and last

I agree, that it's all about respect. When there is true respect then the marriage need never break up (till death). You might be both Saints.

When two spouses intend to be the clone of one another, they will be more and more intransigent with one another.

Intend to be clones of each other. That is quite a plan. And seems like a strong desire. Strong willed desires don't usually make marriage easy

I guess any psychologist will underline that the reason why many marriages end is the lack of mutual understanding.
The lack of intellectual freedom that makes the two partners special to one another.
This is just my opinion, of course

Nowadays, with 50+% divorce rate, maybe the best advice a psychologist could give is:
"Don't marry ... and 'for God's sake' IF you do THEN don't make any promises to God nor to each other"

NOTE: I have never been married, so take it with 2 grains of salt. My knowledge in this area is hearsay, Google and what I see around me (parents, family, friends etc)

 

[Jayhawker Soule]

I tend to agree as well, although I believe an interfaith marriage between, say, an atheist and a strict Buddhist or an atheist and a strict Shinto would generally be less likely to result in relationship problems than one between an atheist and a strict Christian, strict Muslim, etc., due to the respective nature of each religion.

Probably the easiest for me to contemplate would be me as a young man marrying a Muslim, and that is far from easy. To which religious schools do we send the children? Do we plan for their Jewish conversion? I'm sure that there are successful examples of such a marriage somewhere, but the parents are a heck of lot brighter and tougher than I am.