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What are you Teaching your Children for Christmas????

Bird123

Well-Known Member
Christmas time is near. What is the message children hear? If you aren’t good, you won’t get anything for Christmas. Santa knows who is naughty or nice.



Should the love we get really be based on the actions others want us to take? Should not the love of our child be Unconditional? Shouldn’t we be teaching our children our love is unconditional rather than trying to intimidate or manipulate their choices and actions through the gifts we might give?



Children, like ourselves, are learning as they go, so mistakes are a part of learning. Point them in the right direction then let them make their mistakes. Love them endlessly and unconditionally without the intimidation or manipulation through gifts.



Many Many Many people get depressed and unhappy at Christmas time. Have they been taught that their self worth or what they have is based on how good they are? Has the Christmas teaching that you better be good translated into I’m only good if I possess a lot of things? Do people look at what they have at Christmas time and conclude they are not good?



What are we teaching our children? What are we teaching ourselves?



I say Love should be Unconditional. Until we do this, someone will always get hurt at some point in time.



We are all Spiritual beings in our true natures. What physical things we possess does not matter. We are all children of God. We are all so special in so many ways. We are all important and unique. There is no one in the universe exactly like you nor will there ever be.



Forget those physical possessions. Share that which is special about you with the world. If you see nothing special about yourself, be who you are and share that with others. That special will come out even if you do not realize it.



What am I giving for Christmas? UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!! Everyone of you out there have all my Love and Kindness!! There are no conditions. It’s for that special you that you are.



Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Everybody!!



That’s what I see. It’s very very very clear!! I hope it’s now clear for you too!!
 

Saint Frankenstein

Wanderer From Afar
Premium Member
I don't have kids and don't really want them, but I wasn't taught the Santa folklore in such a way. That's sad if others were/are. It was just a fun and imaginative story and imagery for me, including in childhood. Wasn't connected to a reward and punishment scheme.
 

Irate State

Äkta människor
I think you've hit the nail on the head regarding behavior and rewards, and self worth equated to possessions. I'll go one step further and say that IMHO, Christmas time and festivities/ celebrations are nowadays no more than another expression of consumerism.
 

Nakosis

Non-Binary Physicalist
Premium Member
Sometimes kids aren't making mistakes. They know what they are doing is wrong. They like to test the boundaries of what they can get away with.

Parents do need to use punishment or the threat of it to let kids know when they are crossing the boundary.
That certainly doesn't mean the love for the children is any less. In fact, part of that love is taking on the responsibility to prepare the child to face society on their own.

Do people look at what they have at Christmas time and conclude they are not good? They might just conclude they are poor.
 

Evangelicalhumanist

"Truth" isn't a thing...
Premium Member
Growing up in the Children's Aid, 40 foster homes and institutions -- in a "Christian world" -- I have come to hate Christmas. When the Children's Aid dumped me on the streets of Toronto in 1965 (I was 17), I spent that first Christmas and New Year sleeping in a garage, covered in newspaper trying to stay warm.

For years after that, alone in the world, when "Toronto-the-Good" (by virtue of our Protestant Christian heritage) shut down completely, I looked in vain for a restaurant where I could go and warm up and be in the light and the company of humans. There weren't any.

I hate Christmas, personally. I always wish everybody else happiness in their own way, but it isn't available for me.
 

Bird123

Well-Known Member
I think you've hit the nail on the head regarding behavior and rewards, and self worth equated to possessions. I'll go one step further and say that IMHO, Christmas time and festivities/ celebrations are nowadays no more than another expression of consumerism.


Yes, it's sad consumerism and material possessions have such a hold on people. I bet few even remember what they got for Christmas. On the other hand, Those Spiritual personal gifts are not forgotten.

That's what I see. It's very clear!!
 

Bird123

Well-Known Member
I don't have kids and don't really want them, but I wasn't taught the Santa folklore in such a way. That's sad if others were/are. It was just a fun and imaginative story and imagery for me, including in childhood. Wasn't connected to a reward and punishment scheme.

Yes but sometimes what one says can convey meanings not immediately realized. I think lots of people experienced this.

That's what I see. It's very clear!!
 

Bird123

Well-Known Member
Sometimes kids aren't making mistakes. They know what they are doing is wrong. They like to test the boundaries of what they can get away with.

Parents do need to use punishment or the threat of it to let kids know when they are crossing the boundary.
That certainly doesn't mean the love for the children is any less. In fact, part of that love is taking on the responsibility to prepare the child to face society on their own.

Do people look at what they have at Christmas time and conclude they are not good? They might just conclude they are poor.


Isn't a Big Stick an easy way out? What are you teaching when you are controlling others through a Big Stick? Aren't parents supposed to out think their children?

Sure, there might be some that conclude they are just poor. On the other hand, do they think the poor is punishment for being bad??

That's what I see. It's very clear!!
 

Bird123

Well-Known Member
Growing up in the Children's Aid, 40 foster homes and institutions -- in a "Christian world" -- I have come to hate Christmas. When the Children's Aid dumped me on the streets of Toronto in 1965 (I was 17), I spent that first Christmas and New Year sleeping in a garage, covered in newspaper trying to stay warm.

For years after that, alone in the world, when "Toronto-the-Good" (by virtue of our Protestant Christian heritage) shut down completely, I looked in vain for a restaurant where I could go and warm up and be in the light and the company of humans. There weren't any.

I hate Christmas, personally. I always wish everybody else happiness in their own way, but it isn't available for me.


Your move toward Happiness is to be the Hero. Search out at Christmas time for others who are experiencing your past Christmas.

It doesn't matter what everyone else does. It's what you choose to do that counts!! It's within your grasp.

That's what I see. It's very clear!!
 

Evangelicalhumanist

"Truth" isn't a thing...
Premium Member
Your move toward Happiness is to be the Hero. Search out at Christmas time for others who are experiencing your past Christmas.

It doesn't matter what everyone else does. It's what you choose to do that counts!! It's within your grasp.

That's what I see. It's very clear!!
Well, in fact, for quite a few years I did exactly that. I held what I liked to call "waif's Christmas" for at least a dozen years, to which I invited people that I knew had nowhere to go. I personally made complete festive dinners for a dozen or more, and provided all the drink as well. I was trying to give people what I had missed.

I finally stopped when I realized that the rest of the year, they pretty much all couldn't remember who I was.
 

Nakosis

Non-Binary Physicalist
Premium Member
Isn't a Big Stick an easy way out? What are you teaching when you are controlling others through a Big Stick? Aren't parents supposed to out think their children?

Sure, there might be some that conclude they are just poor. On the other hand, do they think the poor is punishment for being bad??

That's what I see. It's very clear!!

The big stick is never used. No one gets denied any presents at Christmas.
The threat of punishment is enough for most kids.
Teaching kids how to avoid punishment, not end up in jail. The government is going to control their behavior throughout most of their life anyway, might as well get used to it early.
Follow the rules. Most rules have a good reason for being there.

I'd hope the kids would realize their parents are doing the best they can and show compassion.
 

Irate State

Äkta människor
Yes, it's sad consumerism and material possessions have such a hold on people. I bet few even remember what they got for Christmas. On the other hand, Those Spiritual personal gifts are not forgotten.

That's what I see. It's very clear!!





To be honest, I don't observe any holiday related to any specific religion, they are to me, just expressions of cultural syncretism which I decided have nothing to do with me. Not being vitriolic just saying that
I've always had beef with established dates to (especially) love your mother, father, or celebrate your family, etc. They are cultural mandates, but being perfectly honest, I do enjoy the food, lol. Only redeeming factor for me. ;)
 

Thief

Rogue Theologian
I say Love should be Unconditional. Until we do this, someone will always get hurt at some point in time.
that would be ......awkward

the holiday is for what?......reflection to Christian faith?

Christ was born on Christmas day.....and no He wasn't

He taught love....and got crucified

love is NOT unconditional
 

Salty Booger

Royal Crown Cola (RC)
I have always associated the Holidays as a time when our family gets together, sharing gifts and each other. Probably the best Christmas experience is when we gather at my brother's house and have a white elephant exchange. That's where you buy a gift with no one in mind. People take turns picking a wrapped gift not knowing what is inside. If they don't like what they picked, they get one opportunity to exchange their gift with that of another person.

Christmas if fun.:)
 

Bird123

Well-Known Member
Well, in fact, for quite a few years I did exactly that. I held what I liked to call "waif's Christmas" for at least a dozen years, to which I invited people that I knew had nowhere to go. I personally made complete festive dinners for a dozen or more, and provided all the drink as well. I was trying to give people what I had missed.

I finally stopped when I realized that the rest of the year, they pretty much all couldn't remember who I was.

Our actions reflect who we are. It should have nothing to do with the actions of others. True gifts expect nothing in return, not even recognition.

Their lives were touched in ways you might never see. The time might come when one of them might turn into the hero having experienced one themselves.

That is what I see. It's very clear!!
 

Bird123

Well-Known Member
To be honest, I don't observe any holiday related to any specific religion, they are to me, just expressions of cultural syncretism which I decided have nothing to do with me. Not being vitriolic just saying that
I've always had beef with established dates to (especially) love your mother, father, or celebrate your family, etc. They are cultural mandates, but being perfectly honest, I do enjoy the food, lol. Only redeeming factor for me. ;)

Yes, the food is Great. If only we would learn not to eat so much of it. On the other hand, one can survive doing it a couple of times a year.
 

Bird123

Well-Known Member
that would be ......awkward

the holiday is for what?......reflection to Christian faith?

Christ was born on Christmas day.....and no He wasn't

He taught love....and got crucified

love is NOT unconditional

When it's not Unconditional Love, someone gets hurt, in time. Unconditional Love isn't about the actions of others. Unconditional Love always does what is Best for the other. That is not always an easy thing to do.

I guess it comes down to how one wants to define oneself since our actions and choices define who we really are.
 

Bird123

Well-Known Member
I have always associated the Holidays as a time when our family gets together, sharing gifts and each other. Probably the best Christmas experience is when we gather at my brother's house and have a white elephant exchange. That's where you buy a gift with no one in mind. People take turns picking a wrapped gift not knowing what is inside. If they don't like what they picked, they get one opportunity to exchange their gift with that of another person.

Christmas if fun.:)


Yes, everyone is so busy throughout the year. It's nice having family and friends get together and share. You are right! Christmas is fun.
 

Left Coast

This Is Water
Staff member
Premium Member
What I would teach my kids if I had them is that Christmas is a time of year when we show our love for one another through giving. And Santa is just a fun make believe story like in many books, not something to be taken seriously.
 

Thief

Rogue Theologian
When it's not Unconditional Love, someone gets hurt, in time. Unconditional Love isn't about the actions of others. Unconditional Love always does what is Best for the other. That is not always an easy thing to do.

I guess it comes down to how one wants to define oneself since our actions and choices define who we really are.

now picture yourself at heaven's gate......
and someone is trying to get Hitler inside

how about the Roman soldier that drove the nails?

and the Devil Himself
 
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