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Parenthood

King Phenomenon

Well-Known Member
I know that most religious families introduce their children to their religion. Do agnostics and atheists introduce their children to agnosticism and atheism? Some families may introduce many religions and beliefs to their children and let them choose.
 
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Polymath257

Think & Care
Staff member
Premium Member
I know that most religious families introduce their children to their religion. Do agnostics and atheists introduce their children to agnasticism and atheism? Some families may introduce many religions and beliefs to their children and let them choose.

There isn't a whole lot to introduce: atheism is a position on only one, relatively unimportant (to me) question: whether or not there is a deity. Agnosticism is more of a position that the answer can't be known.

Much more important is to instill a the ability to make choices and to stand by them, to have compassion for others, to think through issues before talking, to have a drive to learn more, and to be honest, especially with yourself.

And yes, I very much promoted those values to my daughter.
 

Stevicus

Veteran Member
Staff member
Premium Member
Do agnostics and atheists introduce their children to agnasticism and atheism?

I don't know, but I wish my parents had done that. My parents were somewhat wishy-washy about religion, as their church attendance was sporadic. After they divorced, they went to different churches with different beliefs, so it got all the more confusing. My grandparents were devout Catholics, and I spent a lot of time with them growing up and attending church with them.

But my parents still believed in God throughout, even when they wavered on religion. Atheism was a totally foreign concept to me when I was growing up. The only time I recall the subject being brought up was when my grandmother was on a rant and speaking derisively of Madalyn Murray O'Hair.
 

King Phenomenon

Well-Known Member
I don't know, but I wish my parents had done that. My parents were somewhat wishy-washy about religion, as their church attendance was sporadic. After they divorced, they went to different churches with different beliefs, so it got all the more confusing. My grandparents were devout Catholics, and I spent a lot of time with them growing up and attending church with them.

But my parents still believed in God throughout, even when they wavered on religion. Atheism was a totally foreign concept to me when I was growing up. The only time I recall the subject being brought up was when my grandmother was on a rant and speaking derisively of Madalyn Murray O'Hair.
So what you're saying is , you wish they gave you a choice? Or at least offered the different roads to you or would you have rather preferred just the two road of atheism and agnosticism Being offered?
 

Polymath257

Think & Care
Staff member
Premium Member
I was raised by my grandparents, and they gave me a choice: Christianity or else.

I wish they had introduced me to other viewpoints, to the wide range of ideas people across the world believe. But that wasn't their way.

Ultimately, I find it much more important to teach children how to investigate questions for themselves, to think critically, to not take the first position that appeals to them (necessarily), and to stay open minded and humble, realizing that certainty is not something available.
 

King Phenomenon

Well-Known Member
I was raised by my grandparents, and they gave me a choice: Christianity or else.

I wish they had introduced me to other viewpoints, to the wide range of ideas people across the world believe. But that wasn't their way.

Ultimately, I find it much more important to teach children how to investigate questions for themselves, to think critically, to not take the first position that appeals to them (necessarily), and to stay open minded and humble, realizing that certainty is not something available.
I was raised Christian but didn't feel like there was an 'or else' attached to it, so my apologies. Maybe my mom felt that it was healthy to introduce me to religion through catechism and church. Something that would make an impression rather than just a one time talk about it. She could've homeschooled me in all the religions and viewpoints of the world but then I wouldn't have had a summer ha ha. Looking back, me going to catechism and church did not screw me up but perhaps some people have been, unfortunately.
 

Stevicus

Veteran Member
Staff member
Premium Member
So what you're saying is , you wish they gave you a choice? Or at least offered the different roads to you or would you have rather preferred just the two road of atheism and agnosticism Being offered?

Well, a choice probably would have been better. When I was growing up, it was not considered an option to choose not to believe in God. I didn't even realize that I could do that until I reached my teen years.
 

King Phenomenon

Well-Known Member
Well, a choice probably would have been better. When I was growing up, it was not considered an option to choose not to believe in God. I didn't even realize that I could do that until I reached my teen years.
Don't feel bad the first time I heard the word atheist I was nearly 30
 

sun rise

The world is on fire
Premium Member
I know that most religious families introduce their children to their religion. Do agnostics and atheists introduce their children to agnasticism and atheism? Some families may introduce many religions and beliefs to their children and let them choose.
My parents never introduced me to their lack of belief. They never went to Temple, never mentioned religion and their actions demonstrated that religion to them was not a consideration.

It was helpful to have parents like that because when I found the Divine I did not have childhood barriers that friends had to overcome.
 

King Phenomenon

Well-Known Member
My parents never introduced me to their lack of belief. They never went to Temple, never mentioned religion and their actions demonstrated that religion to them was not a consideration.

It was helpful to have parents like that because when I found the Divine I did not have childhood barriers that friends had to overcome.
What barriers?
 

lewisnotmiller

Grand Hat
Staff member
Premium Member
I know that most religious families introduce their children to their religion. Do agnostics and atheists introduce their children to agnasticism and atheism? Some families may introduce many religions and beliefs to their children and let them choose.

I think it varies, so I'll just speak for myself here.
My kids (9 and 11) know my beliefs, but I'm always careful to couch them as 'my beliefs'. They have plenty of examples around them of opposing beliefs, both within our extended families, and from our closest friends.

We talk quite explicitly about the fact that people have different beliefs, and that my kids will need to work out what they believe. We also talk about how people with different beliefs can get along, and what we judge people on, etc.

It's all pretty simple, and doesn't take much effort, but my atheism came to me through consideration and thought over time. If it holds any value at all, it comes from that, rather than of it's own 'nature'. I'd be doing my kids a disservice if I taught them what's 'right' in terms of belief. I focus on open-conversations on belief, and judgement on actions.
 

King Phenomenon

Well-Known Member
I think it varies, so I'll just speak for myself here.
My kids (9 and 11) know my beliefs, but I'm always careful to couch them as 'my beliefs'. They have plenty of examples around them of opposing beliefs, both within our extended families, and from our closest friends.

We talk quite explicitly about the fact that people have different beliefs, and that my kids will need to work out what they believe. We also talk about how people with different beliefs can get along, and what we judge people on, etc.

It's all pretty simple, and doesn't take much effort, but my atheism came to me through consideration and thought over time. If it holds any value at all, it comes from that, rather than of it's own 'nature'. I'd be doing my kids a disservice if I taught them what's 'right' in terms of belief. I focus on open-conversations on belief, and judgement on actions.
I have a similar story being raised a Christian. My mother had a way about her that was pure and good. She never made me feel like I was being forced the 'right' way. I suppose one could say that I was being forced but like I stated in another comment, going to catechism and church did not harm me in anyway. I guess in her mind it was the best way to teach me about God and religion or introduce me to it. She probably felt it was something that would be lasting and have an impression. Kind of like school where it takes a long time to fully grasp something. Repetition and structure is how you really learn something. Come to think of it catechism was only a couple years, church was like once a week for parts of my childhood but nothing close to my regiment I went through from elementary school etc. I went through some hard times but it had nothing to do with Christianity. As the years went on I went off and believed this and believed that but with consideration over time like you said, now I have come full circle and I'm back to Christianity.
 

lewisnotmiller

Grand Hat
Staff member
Premium Member
I have a similar story being raised a Christian. My mother had a way about her that was pure and good. She never made me feel like I was being forced the 'right' way. I suppose one could say that I was being forced but like I stated in another comment, going to catechism and church did not harm me in anyway. I guess in her mind it was the best way to teach me about God and religion or introduce me to it. She probably felt it was something that would be lasting and have an impression. Kind of like school where it takes a long time to fully grasp something. Repetition and structure is how you really learn something. Come to think of it catechism was only a couple years, church was like once a week for parts of my childhood but nothing close to my regiment I went through from elementary school etc. I went through some hard times but it had nothing to do with Christianity. As the years went on I went off and believed this and believed that but with consideration over time like you said, now I have come full circle and I'm back to Christianity.

I like your Mother's approach, based on this description.
 

sun rise

The world is on fire
Premium Member
What barriers?

A Catholic friend was really turned off by the Church and everything that went with it and so rejected it all. Believing in God meant overcoming the rejection of her experience of Catholic school and all the rituals. Further, coming to accept the supreme sainthood of St. Francis of Assisi as she did meant more fighting with her negative experience of Catholic schooling.
 

King Phenomenon

Well-Known Member
A Catholic friend was really turned off by the Church and everything that went with it and so rejected it all. Believing in God meant overcoming the rejection of her experience of Catholic school and all the rituals. Further, coming to accept the supreme sainthood of St. Francis of Assisi as she did meant more fighting with her negative experience of Catholic schooling.
That's a little vague
 

SalixIncendium

अग्निविलोवनन्दः
Staff member
Premium Member
I know that most religious families introduce their children to their religion. Do agnostics and atheists introduce their children to agnasticism and atheism? Some families may introduce many religions and beliefs to their children and let them choose.

My ex-wife attempted to influence my daughters' beliefs toward Christianity, but I instilled upon them to keep an open mind, and if they were in need of religion to explore and learn about the various ones.

One was a Christo-Pagan of sorts and the other I'd probably classify as an agnostic theist.
 

Mock Turtle

Oh my, did I say that!
Premium Member
I know that most religious families introduce their children to their religion. Do agnostics and atheists introduce their children to agnasticism and atheism? Some families may introduce many religions and beliefs to their children and let them choose.

You might want to alter this unless you want to be seen as someone sneering at differing views. And I would hope any atheist or agnostic would be honest with their children and not try to influence them as to what they believe in this regard. They might also like to point out the variety of religious beliefs to choose from though.
 

SalixIncendium

अग्निविलोवनन्दः
Staff member
Premium Member
You might want to alter this unless you want to be seen as someone sneering at differing views. And I would hope any atheist or agnostic would be honest with their children and not try to influence them as to what they believe in this regard. They might also like to point out the variety of religious beliefs to choose from though.

Based on my experience on RF, I think it's naive to think that there are no atheist or agnostics, even on this forum, that wouldn't attempt to indoctrinate their children to an unfavorable opinion regarding religion.
 

Mock Turtle

Oh my, did I say that!
Premium Member
Based on my experience on RF, I think it's naive to think that there are no atheist or agnostics, even on this forum, that wouldn't attempt to indoctrinate their children to an unfavorable opinion regarding religion.

Perhaps, but what do you think of the religious equivalent - of them showing the varieties of belief to choose from? I think there is likely to be more honesty involved with the non-religious than those having a religious belief. But undoubtedly it will depend upon their honesty and intelligence - and some knowledge.
 

SalixIncendium

अग्निविलोवनन्दः
Staff member
Premium Member
Perhaps, but what do you think of the religious equivalent - of them showing the varieties of belief to choose from?

I've already shared my thoughts on this in post #16 regarding this.

I think a child should be taught values, not bias for or against religion.
 
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