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Question to my self....

Spirit of Light

Be who ever you want
WHAT THE **** am i doing with my life :confused:

Me.
Depression = 90%
Blood pressure = WAY to high
Colestrol = :confused: that high ?
PTSD = Holy crap, spinning out of control
Frustration = You bet....
exhausted = 100%
Friendliness = beginning to slip.....But still friendly when not pushed.....
Thoughts about my self = You really do not want to know :noentry:
Want to kill my self? = Tried it before and it hurt too much, so no killing :p
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Spirit of Light

Be who ever you want
this came to mind
be well.
Thank you :) I really like this song when i listen to it now :)
I did put the OP in Joke section to not scare anyone who might read it, But it is a lot of truth in the OP, it's not a joke to live a life where everything is a struggle.
This forum used to be a free area for me to let the "real world" be as it is, but lately, there have been building tension within the forum too. so at the moment, my mind does not get any rest. And I don't like being a reason for other's misery.
 

Twilight Hue

Twilight, not bright nor dark, good nor bad.
WHAT THE F...UK am i doing with my life :confused:

Me.
Depression = 90%
Blood pressure = WAY to high
Colestrol = :confused: that high ?
PTSD = Holy crap, spinning out of control
Frustration = You bet....
exhausted = 100%
Friendliness = beginning to slip.....But still friendly when not pushed.....
Thoughts about my self = You really do not want to know :noentry:
Want to kill my self? = Tried it before and it hurt too much, so no killing :p
That means you're just a typical smo Joe.

Smile a bit and remember misery loves company!
 

shunyadragon

shunyadragon
Premium Member
WHAT THE F...UK am i doing with my life :confused:

Me.
Depression = 90%
Blood pressure = WAY to high
Colestrol = :confused: that high ?
PTSD = Holy crap, spinning out of control
Frustration = You bet....
exhausted = 100%
Friendliness = beginning to slip.....But still friendly when not pushed.....
Thoughts about my self = You really do not want to know :noentry:
Want to kill my self? = Tried it before and it hurt too much, so no killing :p

One positive step at a time, and focus of changing your lifestyle concerning positive attitude, diet and exercise.
 

Spirit of Light

Be who ever you want
That means you're just a typical smo Joe.

Smile a bit and remember misery loves company!
The strange thing is that i do still smile :) only those who know me well would ever see that i am struggling, but you know :) I never giving up, and sometimes the struggle can make us stronger later on
 

shunyadragon

shunyadragon
Premium Member
The strange thing is that i do still smile :) only those who know me well would ever see that i am struggling, but you know :) I never giving up, and sometimes the struggle can make us stronger later on

I believe walks in the park or nature are helpful.
 

sun rise

The world is on fire
Premium Member
One of my "go to" images is from a short chapter in the novel "I Never Promised You a Rose Garden". Maybe it will be a useful image to you as well.

Her dream began with winter darkness. Out of this darkness came a great hand, fisted. It was a man's hand, powerful and hollowed by the shadows of the wells between bones and tendons. The fist opened and in the long plain of the palm lay three pieces of coal. Slowly the hand closed causing within the fist a tremendous pressure. The pressure began to generate a white heat and still it increased. There was a sense of weighing, crushing time. She seemed to feel the suffering of the coal with her own body, almost beyond the point of being born. At least she cried out to the hand "Stop it! Will you never end it! Even a stone cannot bear to this limit... even a stone...!"

After what seemed like too long a time for anything molecular to endure, the torments in the fist relaxed. The fist turned slowly and very slowly opened.

Diamonds. Three of them.

Three clear and brilliant diamonds shot with light, lay in the good palm. A deep voice called to her, "Deborah." And then, gently, "Deborah, this will be you."
 

Nakosis

Non-Binary Physicalist
Premium Member
WHAT THE F...UK am i doing with my life :confused:

Me.
Depression = 90%
Blood pressure = WAY to high
Colestrol = :confused: that high ?
PTSD = Holy crap, spinning out of control
Frustration = You bet....
exhausted = 100%
Friendliness = beginning to slip.....But still friendly when not pushed.....
Thoughts about my self = You really do not want to know :noentry:
Want to kill my self? = Tried it before and it hurt too much, so no killing :p

Well I can tell you what I did in that situation though I can't really recommend it.

I was a teenager and homeless. Had no hope of a future. So what I did was an act of desperation. I gave my life to God. I put my life in God's hands.

Very interesting thing happened. Suddenly, I felt a very comforting presence and all my burdens were lifted.

I suppose it allowed me to let go of the responsibilities of making the right decisions. All that was left for me to do was to continue to live and accept that whatever life threw at me was God's will. It allowed me to let go of the fear of tomorrow. I don't know your state of mind but it seems fear is a great burden that weighs us down.

Are you afraid? So it's not about stop trying, ie killing yourself. It's about not being afraid of dealing with whatever life throws at you. Tomorrow will bring pain and perhaps even death for me but I'm not afraid of these things. Allows me to experience each moment for what it is without fear.

At this moment I'm alive and I can experience life. That makes me happy. Tomorrow I may die but for now, I'm happy.

There are lots of things I find to be happy about. Even if it's as simple as feeling the sun on my face. Maybe being afraid would cause me to miss out on that.
 

Spirit of Light

Be who ever you want
Well I can tell you what I did in that situation though I can't really recommend it.

I was a teenager and homeless. Had no hope of a future. So what I did was an act of desperation. I gave my life to God. I put my life in God's hands.

Very interesting thing happened. Suddenly, I felt a very comforting presence and all my burdens were lifted.

I suppose it allowed me to let go of the responsibilities of making the right decisions. All that was left for me to do was to continue to live and accept that whatever life threw at me was God's will. It allowed me to let go of the fear of tomorrow. I don't know your state of mind but it seems fear is a great burden that weighs us down.

Are you afraid? So it's not about stop trying, ie killing yourself. It's about not being afraid of dealing with whatever life throws at you. Tomorrow will bring pain and perhaps even death for me but I'm not afraid of these things. Allows me to experience each moment for what it is without fear.

At this moment I'm alive and I can experience life. That makes me happy. Tomorrow I may die but for now, I'm happy.

There are lots of things I find to be happy about. Even if it's as simple as feeling the sun on my face. Maybe being afraid would cause me to miss out on that.
I am not afraid :) But I feel out of energy, out of life force.
I think it is called being drained of everything that used to be positive. But i know there is light in the tunnel soon :) So no i am not going to end it :) As i said in the OP i tried that before and it hurt to much do go through those things again, so not an option.
But i am thinking of using this easter to regain my energy, to stay offline more then i used to do. And be a little egoistic and think more about my self :)
 

leov

Well-Known Member
WHAT THE F...UK am i doing with my life :confused:

Me.
Depression = 90%
Blood pressure = WAY to high
Colestrol = :confused: that high ?
PTSD = Holy crap, spinning out of control
Frustration = You bet....
exhausted = 100%
Friendliness = beginning to slip.....But still friendly when not pushed.....
Thoughts about my self = You really do not want to know :noentry:
Want to kill my self? = Tried it before and it hurt too much, so no killing :p
Perfect! Ready to join Army!
 

BSM1

What? Me worry?
WHAT THE F...UK am i doing with my life :confused:

Me.
Depression = 90%
Blood pressure = WAY to high
Colestrol = :confused: that high ?
PTSD = Holy crap, spinning out of control
Frustration = You bet....
exhausted = 100%
Friendliness = beginning to slip.....But still friendly when not pushed.....
Thoughts about my self = You really do not want to know :noentry:
Want to kill my self? = Tried it before and it hurt too much, so no killing :p


But on the bright side, it's Friday....
 

leov

Well-Known Member
WHAT THE F...UK am i doing with my life :confused:

Me.
Depression = 90%
Blood pressure = WAY to high
Colestrol = :confused: that high ?
PTSD = Holy crap, spinning out of control
Frustration = You bet....
exhausted = 100%
Friendliness = beginning to slip.....But still friendly when not pushed.....
Thoughts about my self = You really do not want to know :noentry:
Want to kill my self? = Tried it before and it hurt too much, so no killing :p
Suddenly felt a small light bulb coming on regarding you;
Check out these people , Norge is listed...https://www.valentiniangnosis.org/
 
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