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An attempt.

Father Heathen

Veteran Member
body and blood intertwined
from forbidden fruit the sweetest wine
'tis both a sin and salvation
passing through hell to get to heaven
wings of velvet and feathers
take flight into the night
together through stormy weather
the lightning struck as they fell
the thunder rolled as they rose
something something

:toilet:
 

Daemon Sophic

Avatar in flux
You might want to put a stanza or two in front of that. Leaping right in with “body and blood....” (unless these are two vampires mating), is a little ..... shocking/blunt.

How ‘bout some foreplay? ;)
 

PoetPhilosopher

Veteran Member
body and blood intertwined
from forbidden fruit the sweetest wine
'tis both a sin and salvation
passing through hell to get to heaven
wings of velvet and feathers
take flight into the night
together through stormy weather
the lightning struck as they fell
the thunder rolled as they rose
something something

I don't know what this poem is trying to convey, so great job - it achieved the same effect as most poetry does for me.
 
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