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How Romance is vilified nowadays

dianaiad

Well-Known Member
Re read my post, i gave a reasonably comprehensive list of aspects of love, lust was just one of them and that was in direct reply to the OP

As for the rest of your post, i read it but am ignoring it because of your cherry picking statement

That wasn't intended to be 'cherry picking.' You stated that love also involved lust, but also involved other things, and that lust was an important part of love....as if love were one, all encompassing thing that included all.

I immediately thought of the 'no true scott' fallacy,(if one member of a group does not have a specific thing all, or most, of all the other members do, then it is 'no true whatever it is) and it's associated fallacy, the compositional one...where someone figures that if one member of a group has a thing, then all do.

In your post I seemed to see the claim that if love included friendship..or any of the other aspects of 'love,' then it ALSO included lust.

So if that's not what you intended to say, my apologies.

I was simply pointing out that Love is not a lake where every bit of water in it has pretty much the same aspects every other part of it has...it's a category, where all different sorts of love fit, but they don't all have the same characteristics as all other parts.

What I was attempting to say, in my 'cherry picking' way, was that one can be a friend, have self esteem, love everybody, flirt a bit and even have an extremely long lived relationship that might have included lust before but now does not, at least not very much....and it's still love. Even without sex.

I agree with you. Eros is an important kind of love. It's fun, it's all sorts of good things....but it is not the end all and be all of love. Indeed, it's only, according to the Greeks, anyway, a fifth of it. .) One can love greatly all one's life...and die a virgin. It has happened, y'know.

It's only NOWADAYS that one cannot have a great love for a friend without raising eyebrows.
 

ChristineM

"Be strong", I whispered to my coffee.
Premium Member
That wasn't intended to be 'cherry picking.' You stated that love also involved lust, but also involved other things, and that lust was an important part of love....as if love were one, all encompassing thing that included all.

I immediately thought of the 'no true scott' fallacy,(if one member of a group does not have a specific thing all, or most, of all the other members do, then it is 'no true whatever it is) and it's associated fallacy, the compositional one...where someone figures that if one member of a group has a thing, then all do.

In your post I seemed to see the claim that if love included friendship..or any of the other aspects of 'love,' then it ALSO included lust.

So if that's not what you intended to say, my apologies.

I was simply pointing out that Love is not a lake where every bit of water in it has pretty much the same aspects every other part of it has...it's a category, where all different sorts of love fit, but they don't all have the same characteristics as all other parts.

What I was attempting to say, in my 'cherry picking' way, was that one can be a friend, have self esteem, love everybody, flirt a bit and even have an extremely long lived relationship that might have included lust before but now does not, at least not very much....and it's still love. Even without sex.

I agree with you. Eros is an important kind of love. It's fun, it's all sorts of good things....but it is not the end all and be all of love. Indeed, it's only, according to the Greeks, anyway, a fifth of it. .) One can love greatly all one's life...and die a virgin. It has happened, y'know.

It's only NOWADAYS that one cannot have a great love for a friend without raising eyebrows.

Love does (or should) include lust in its many facets. I have never said it was end all and be all of a relationship but if is an aspect, as i said.

We are discussing love as in the intense, emotional, sexual, romantic, spend you lives together love, not being good buds with a pal.
 

Audie

Veteran Member
Love does (or should) include lust in its many facets. I have never said it was end all and be all of a relationship but if is an aspect, as i said.

We are discussing love as in the intense, emotional, sexual, romantic, spend you lives together love, not being good buds with a pal.

That part is usually good for about what, 6 months?
 

Estro Felino

Believer in free will
Premium Member
There should be mystery between man and woman....if a woman is too glued to her man, passion fades away.

I want my man to have his own interests, his own friends ...his own spaces.
And I want mine.

This distance increases the mystery the passion, the waiting , the romance.
 

Estro Felino

Believer in free will
Premium Member
After all...males here are obsessed with soccer...

I would never waste 90 minutes of my life watching that stuff...ewww:p
 

ChristineM

"Be strong", I whispered to my coffee.
Premium Member
There should be mystery between man and woman....if a woman is too glued to her man, passion fades away.

I want my man to have his own interests, his own friends ...his own spaces.
And I want mine.

This distance increases the mystery the passion, the waiting , the romance.

Everyone is different, we find mystery to be a barrier, what we thrive on is open honesty.
 

ChristineM

"Be strong", I whispered to my coffee.
Premium Member
Ok...I just don't think having common friends is a good idea

Why not? Its good to go out with friends we both know.

Of course we have un ;-) common friends, but no mystery in that. Paul goes to the bar with his pals, you can guarantee he will come home drunk and his pals will try to post him through the letter box. But when he sobers up we will share his outing in conversation (what he remembers of it)
 

Estro Felino

Believer in free will
Premium Member
Why not? Its good to go out with friends we both know.

Of course we have un ;-) common friends, but no mystery in that. Paul goes to the bar with his pals, you can guarantee he will come home drunk and his pals will try to post him through the letter box. But when he sobers up we will share his outing in conversation (what he remembers of it)

For example my ex boyfriend had pals he used to play soccer with...
Honestly...anything that has to do with that sport makes me vomit...:p

So...the less we talked, the better
 

ChristineM

"Be strong", I whispered to my coffee.
Premium Member
After all...males here are obsessed with soccer...

I would never waste 90 minutes of my life watching that stuff...ewww:p

"Tiz a load of balls

Now Rugby, that is something different and worth watching. Maybe once a year or so
 

ChristineM

"Be strong", I whispered to my coffee.
Premium Member
For example my ex boyfriend had pals he used to play soccer with...
Honestly...anything that has to do with that sport makes me vomit...:p

So...the less we talked, the better

Like i said, we are all different. If i had wound up with a sport obsessed guy it wouldn't have lasted long.

As it happens be both are interested (slightly) in rugby, most certainly not to the obsessive stage. But we will go and cheer the local side on if they are playing at home and we have nothing better to do.

Other sports we like, motorsport and cycling.

Three things in common right there.
 

ChristineM

"Be strong", I whispered to my coffee.
Premium Member
You must be such a very fortunate person, that
is very very rare. Congrats!!!!!

Thanks, i ihink so, we have something special. Will probably fall apart next week after putting that hex on it ;-)
 
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