Giving up on dating (why women are difficult to date today)

[columbus]

You have the men, I'll have the Venusian logic, menstrual periods, and high heels.

Or rather, they'll have me.

Ok
Tom

 

[Rival]

Of course both people need to be physically and sexually attracted to each other, that goes with out saying but, my point was when that is the MAIN and MOST important factor then, you are setting yourself up for failure.

Ideally we all want to end up with the perfect partner, and of course "perfect" is relative to each person, what i find perfect you might find annoying and vice versa. But we do agree that we need to be 1) Sexually attracted to them and 2) They need to treat us with "dignity and respect". What's harder to find someone who's attractive or someone who treats you with "dignity and respect"? Personally, i would argue that finding someone who treats people with "dignity and respect" is harder to find. So, while being attracted to someone is important, you need to shift your focus from sex to respect, sex is easy to find, respect is NOT. And maybe you don't ever find the "perfect" person but, at least you'll get a whole hella lot closer finding that person if look for respect instead of sex. Also, i would argue that respect in it of it self is sexy lol ( of course as long as you don't find that person physically repulsive)

Sex is so important because it is the one thing that keeps couples together. Studies have shown that married couples have the most sex and those who do it frequently tend to have better relationships overall. Sex is often seen as an aside, something that's fun but lesser. It's really not, it's crucial. I'm not afraid to say that it's in my top things I need to pursue a relationship with a person.

I think the reason it's so important to me as an individual is that I'm strongly into S&m and if my partner is vanilla, i.e, has no interest in whips and chains so to speak, it is 100% not going to work.

 

[Earthtank]

I realize many of the people on these forums are a lot older than me and are married with grand children, but when I speak on my experiences I'm referencing what I've experienced and by no means what I say is universal to the experiences of others or women who've I never met. When I say dating sucks, it really does suck. In some small way I understand why some men create groups like MGTOW or create Incel groups. I think with the advent of technology such as social media, human beings are increasingly less inclined to mentally know their partner or value relationships. But I also think the standards in how we value each other have changed and have become unfair. Although celebrity relationships aren't necessarily reflective on everyday relationships, I do feel women like Miley Cyrus a self declared pan-sexual who married Liam Hemsworth, on social media kissing another woman and in response to her split have the audacity to have these care free quotes about being yourself. I see this everyday in the women I meet. It's like how do you get involved in a serious marriage, split, then take pictures as if you are living a care free life although knowing the other person you married is hurt? I heard some people say that women today are acting like men which is really not something I find even fair to us men because many of us don't behave like that.

I really feel like it really is unfair to some men when it comes to the dating pool because now the standards of courting has shifted. I'm always bombarded with women who feel the need to value my manhood based on their own unrealistic standards. For example, a woman doesn't have to have a car, but a man does. A woman can live at home with her parents, but a man shouldn't. A woman doesn't have to work and be on government assistance, but a man shouldn't. In my dating experience I've dated the car less, house less, job less, and even the immature. I think I've compromised certain values I hold dear all because I want to overlook my own values to get to know the person. But it not only has damaged my perspective of dating but I'm increasingly realizing that mentally there are a lot of women that don't have their s**** together mentally.

Now, I'm not making a universal judgment but simply based on what I've encountered, there are far too many women who are mentally damaged by their last relationship, and unfortunately tend to view men who they've encountered, and unconsciously judge the present man based on the last man. I was told by a friend of mine to "not look and let them come to you" but in those types of truisms I don't see how me intentionally not searching for something makes something come to me and even if that is true is it compatible? I swear nowadays women want a man that is 6'6 making six figures with a 12 inch member. These unrealistic standards women have, and women not being honest with themselves is really making the dating pool hard

Bro, if you hanging out in places with women that are looking for "6'6 making six figures with a 12 inch member" then you are in the wrong places. Hang out with hoes and you get hoes. Want a respectable women? Chances are they don't hang out wherever its been you've been meeting these women (hoes) at. You're like a dude at the strip club complaining about hoes. Women that will give you all these demands and have these unrealistic standards need to be kicked to the curb ASAP and stop wasting your time on them. Women that still play phone text games from high school and whatnot, need to be ignored because they aren't women, they are still girls.Grown and respectable women aren't out at bars looking for one night stands or getting drunk in the club. Try looking for women that have hobbies that interest you, for example, book clubs, sporting events, environmental gatherings, place of worship (if you are a theist) or any social event that's not planned for or around sex and 1 night stands.

 

[Earthtank]

Sex is so important because it is the one thing that keeps couples together. Studies have shown that married couples have the most sex and those who do it frequently tend to have better relationships overall. Sex is often seen as an aside, something that's fun but lesser. It's really not, it's crucial. I'm not afraid to say that it's in my top things I need to pursue a relationship with a person.

I think the reason it's so important to me as an individual is that I'm strongly into S&m and if my partner is vanilla, i.e, has no interest in whips and chains so to speak, it is 100% not going to work.

Yeah, sorry, but you seem to have all of your priorities out of whack then, want to blame men for treating like a prostitute while you are searching for dignity and respect. Good luck with that.

 

[Rival]

Yeah, sorry, but you seem to have all of your priorities out of whack then, want to blame men for treating like a prostitute while you are searching for dignity and respect. Good luck with that.

I think you are misunderstanding what I am saying. I am trying to say that a relationship requires a healthy sex life of sex that is pleasing to both partners and it is very hard to find that. Ask pretty much anyone. It needs to be sex that is mutually fulfilling and not just for sex itself, which is what many people do. Sex should be something satisfying and not just a few minutes of in-out that does nothing for most women, who seek emotional connexion during sex, which few men can give, in my experience.

 

[Earthtank]

I think you are misunderstanding what I am saying. I am trying to say that a relationship requires a healthy sex life of sex that is pleasing to both partners and it is very hard to find that. Ask pretty much anyone. It needs to be sex that is mutually fulfilling and not just for sex itself, which is what many poeple do.

Yes, i agree sex is important but, should NOT be placed above everything else to the point where almost nothing else matters.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Yeah, sorry, but you seem to have all of your priorities out of whack then, want to blame men for treating like a prostitute while you are searching for dignity and respect. Good luck with that.

Wanting a fulfilling sex life is not equal to being a hooker. You sound very sexist. Like in that other post, I mostly agreed with your point, but I object to you calling women "hos". Men are the biggest hos and sluts around but they get away with it while women are shamed.

 

[Earthtank]

Wanting a fulfilling sex life is not equal to being a hooker. You sound very sexist. Like in that other post, I mostly agreed with your point, but I object to you calling women "hos". Men are the biggest hos and sluts around but they get away with it while women are shamed.

I agree men are the biggest the hoes lol but, my post was meant to try and help out epic not solve the "hoe crisis". If i was giving a woman advice I'd tell her the same thing, stop hanging out where "hoe" men hang out

 

[Rival]

Wanting a fulfilling sex life is not equal to being a hooker. You sound very sexist. Like in that other post, I mostly agreed with your point, but I object to you calling women "hos". Men are the biggest hos and sluts around but they get away with it while women are shamed.

And while we're at it, what's wrong with being a hooker anyway?

 

[columbus]

Sex is so important because it is the one thing that keeps couples together.

That explains why you're a kinky old maid.

Sex is just a part of what keeps couples together. A small one, at that.

Sorry to sound like a prude, but I have a lot of experience in this regard.
Tom

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

And while we're at it, what's wrong with being a hooker anyway?

Nothing, as long as it's consensual. They can fulfill a needed social role.

 

[Rival]

That explains why you're a kinky old maid.

Sex is just a part of keeps couples together. A small one, at that.

Sorry to sound like a prude, but I have a lot of experience in this regard.
Tom

I think people are reading me wrong.

What I'm trying to say is that if you are in a relationship with someone and your sex life is bad, the whole relationship is likely to suffer. This is based on what I see around me, both when people pursue relationships only for sex and those who have OK relationships with bad sex. All I hear are complaints about how boring it is.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

Sex is just a part of keeps couples together. A small one, at that.

I agree. Once that hour or two is over for the day, how do you fill the other 14-15 hours?

 

[ChristineM]

I said only to consider one's own role in the problem.
But as every man knows, all women are crazy.

I deny that accusation.

 

[Rival]

@Epic Beard Man I'm sorry about your thread, bro.

 

[columbus]

I agree. Once that hour or two is over for the day, how do you fill the other 14-15 hours?

I don't know.
I've never had quite that much sex.

And I was seriously ****ly back in the 80s. But I did sleep sometimes.
Tom

 

[Koldo]

I realize many of the people on these forums are a lot older than me and are married with grand children, but when I speak on my experiences I'm referencing what I've experienced and by no means what I say is universal to the experiences of others or women who've I never met. When I say dating sucks, it really does suck. In some small way I understand why some men create groups like MGTOW or create Incel groups. I think with the advent of technology such as social media, human beings are increasingly less inclined to mentally know their partner or value relationships. But I also think the standards in how we value each other have changed and have become unfair. Although celebrity relationships aren't necessarily reflective on everyday relationships, I do feel women like Miley Cyrus a self declared pan-sexual who married Liam Hemsworth, on social media kissing another woman and in response to her split have the audacity to have these care free quotes about being yourself. I see this everyday in the women I meet. It's like how do you get involved in a serious marriage, split, then take pictures as if you are living a care free life although knowing the other person you married is hurt? I heard some people say that women today are acting like men which is really not something I find even fair to us men because many of us don't behave like that.

I really feel like it really is unfair to some men when it comes to the dating pool because now the standards of courting has shifted. I'm always bombarded with women who feel the need to value my manhood based on their own unrealistic standards. For example, a woman doesn't have to have a car, but a man does. A woman can live at home with her parents, but a man shouldn't. A woman doesn't have to work and be on government assistance, but a man shouldn't. In my dating experience I've dated the car less, house less, job less, and even the immature. I think I've compromised certain values I hold dear all because I want to overlook my own values to get to know the person. But it not only has damaged my perspective of dating but I'm increasingly realizing that mentally there are a lot of women that don't have their s**** together mentally.

Now, I'm not making a universal judgment but simply based on what I've encountered, there are far too many women who are mentally damaged by their last relationship, and unfortunately tend to view men who they've encountered, and unconsciously judge the present man based on the last man. I was told by a friend of mine to "not look and let them come to you" but in those types of truisms I don't see how me intentionally not searching for something makes something come to me and even if that is true is it compatible? I swear nowadays women want a man that is 6'6 making six figures with a 12 inch member. These unrealistic standards women have, and women not being honest with themselves is really making the dating pool hard

Where have you been finding those women ? It sounds like there is something wrong with the overall group you have been picking from.

 

[Koldo]

Epic!
Can I call you Epic?

Stop!
Just the way that you write about dating and women gives anybody an idea why you don't get good dates!

Try these ideas and see if they're any good.

1. Stop trying! FGS, stop trying! Amazingly, once you've totally packed up (that means stopped, totally!) trying to get yourself a girlfriend, you'll find them bumping in to you with interest. Why? Because your body language will have totally changed.

2. Go and read Allan Pease 's book on body language, read the whole thing several times, but pay particular attention to female courting gestures.

3. Stop thinking about yourself and start practicing Empathy. If a woman feels, thinks, does or wants something you've got to understand it all and accept it all.

4. Stop moaning about imbalances in the World. Just accept them, smile and get on with your life. Nothing in life is fair, mate.

It seems you have completely misunderstood the nature of the problem. It has nothing to do with him trying to get a date and not being able to.

 

[Messianic Israelite]

@Epic Beard Man
I don't have much dating experience. We don't believe in sex before marriage in our faith which means it's a lot simpler I guess. You don't get the complications that having sex before marriage comes with. I was quite flirtatious just a few years ago - not long ago at all. I would try to get to know women better in the hope that it would lead to a relationship, but to the most part, the women didn't seem interested. I hardly ever asked any girls out. The few people who I have asked out on dates have said yes, but I have to be certain they'll agree to date me as I fear rejection. This means that I have only asked a few girls out in my lifetime. So I don't really know what to say to you regarding your problems dating women. I agree from what I've read women are a lot more complicated in the sense that they have higher (or high) expectations for men. You mentioned that women can stay at home, be car-less etc which I think is true. But most men don't mind the idea of a woman having to rely on their husbands for their help, whether that's financially, or whether that's getting lifts etc. In fact, some men like that idea.

Times have certainly changed. In 2 Timothy 3:1-5 is a description of the attitude of people in the last days, but I would say those days are now. One of those characteristics is no natural affection. People today lack natural affection. If people had a natural affection for each other, they wouldn't cheat on each other, they wouldn't lie to each other, they wouldn't mistreat one another. Many couples I see together don't seem happy. It always makes me rejoice when I see a couple who genuinely seem happy and love each other, but it's rare.

 

[ChristineM]

I think you are misunderstanding what I am saying. I am trying to say that a relationship requires a healthy sex life of sex that is pleasing to both partners and it is very hard to find that. Ask pretty much anyone. It needs to be sex that is mutually fulfilling and not just for sex itself, which is what many people do. Sex should be something satisfying and not just a few minutes of in-out that does nothing for most women, who seek emotional connexion during sex, which few men can give, in my experience.

Not every man (in fact very few) know this