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Giving up on dating (why women are difficult to date today)

usfan

Well-Known Member
  • ..you'll meet a more suitable girl.
  • You like her.. she likes you..
  • You'll fall in love and give it a go.
  • You'll post a completely different perspective, and try to delete this one, so Miss Right doesn't see it.
  • You'll live happily ever after, and play with your grandkids.
That's a more upbeat future, i hope. It does not reflect the cynicism and disfunction of families and relationships that Progresso World has given us. Just return to your instincts, and be Real. Forget the madness and folly of celebrity relationships, and focus on following your heart.
 

Earthtank

Active Member
I am single. Had plenty of chances. Not sure what your problem is, really.
Isn't that what all single people say? lol. And honestly, i have no problem with you but, just pointing out how ridiculous you list of things is, which explains why you are single
 

Rival

Si m'ait Dieus
Staff member
Premium Member
Isn't that what all single people say? lol. And honestly, i have no problem with you but, just pointing out how ridiculous you list of things is, which explains why you are single
I have, but I just do not find myself as sexually attracted to men as I thought and did prefix this by saying I am more into women. Most men make me feel like a prostitute, honestly, and I have not time for that. The main reason I'm single is because I'm 'too religious' for most people and expect my partner to be as religious as I am. In any case, I still fail to see what's so bad about my list as it can basically be broken down into 'Be sexually attractive to me and have a life that's showing not just telling'.
 

Saint Frankenstein

Wanderer From Afar
Premium Member
In some small way I understand why some men create groups like MGTOW or create Incel groups
Those guys are pathological misogynists. Many of them are psychopaths who congregate in cesspools like 8chan. They hate women and blame them for their issues. Incels, for example, think women owe them sex and harbor violence against them. They post about forcing women into sexual slavery, raping them and murdering them. They are very sick people.
 

sayak83

Veteran Member
Staff member
Premium Member
I realize many of the people on these forums are a lot older than me and are married with grand children, but when I speak on my experiences I'm referencing what I've experienced and by no means what I say is universal to the experiences of others or women who've I never met. When I say dating sucks, it really does suck. In some small way I understand why some men create groups like MGTOW or create Incel groups. I think with the advent of technology such as social media, human beings are increasingly less inclined to mentally know their partner or value relationships. But I also think the standards in how we value each other have changed and have become unfair. Although celebrity relationships aren't necessarily reflective on everyday relationships, I do feel women like Miley Cyrus a self declared pan-sexual who married Liam Hemsworth, on social media kissing another woman and in response to her split have the audacity to have these care free quotes about being yourself. I see this everyday in the women I meet. It's like how do you get involved in a serious marriage, split, then take pictures as if you are living a care free life although knowing the other person you married is hurt? I heard some people say that women today are acting like men which is really not something I find even fair to us men because many of us don't behave like that.

I really feel like it really is unfair to some men when it comes to the dating pool because now the standards of courting has shifted. I'm always bombarded with women who feel the need to value my manhood based on their own unrealistic standards. For example, a woman doesn't have to have a car, but a man does. A woman can live at home with her parents, but a man shouldn't. A woman doesn't have to work and be on government assistance, but a man shouldn't. In my dating experience I've dated the car less, house less, job less, and even the immature. I think I've compromised certain values I hold dear all because I want to overlook my own values to get to know the person. But it not only has damaged my perspective of dating but I'm increasingly realizing that mentally there are a lot of women that don't have their s**** together mentally.

Now, I'm not making a universal judgment but simply based on what I've encountered, there are far too many women who are mentally damaged by their last relationship, and unfortunately tend to view men who they've encountered, and unconsciously judge the present man based on the last man. I was told by a friend of mine to "not look and let them come to you" but in those types of truisms I don't see how me intentionally not searching for something makes something come to me and even if that is true is it compatible? I swear nowadays women want a man that is 6'6 making six figures with a 12 inch member. These unrealistic standards women have, and women not being honest with themselves is really making the dating pool hard
That is why it's better to have the parents ( or relatives, friends) do the match making. :)
 

Earthtank

Active Member
I have, but I just do not find myself as sexually attracted to men as I thought and did prefix this by saying I am more into women. Most men make me feel like a prostitute, honestly, and I have not time for that. The main reason I'm single is because I'm 'too religious' for most people and expect my partner to be as religious as I am. In any case, I still fail to see what's so bad about my list as it can basically be broken down into 'Be sexually attractive to me and have a life that's showing not just telling'.

I understand you position as it pertains to men, i am not arguing or disputing that. Also, if men are making you (or any women) feel like a prostitute there's reasons for that some are 1) You are looking for or hanging around places where those type of men hang out 2) Searching for men in the wrong places 3) Giving off that kind of vibe or a plethora of any reasons. I am not judging you but, just saying those are possible reasons. And trying to blame being single on being "too religious" is, with all due respect, as lazy and cheap of a cop out as i have ever heard in my life. There are millions and millions of great religious men (and ****ty ones too of course).

You said "Be sexually attractive to me" and then you complain about men treating you like a "prostitute"? Sorry, Lady but you need to start taking some responsibility and stop trying to blame men (maybe even some women) for your "situation".
 

PoetPhilosopher

Veteran Member
I may have made the mistake of blaming women before, myself, but really, I'm going to blame online dating and how fake and limited it is. There exists women that I would like on online dating sites, gamer girls, but their inbox is too filled to message me. The ones who do message me are redneck cowgirls. I once asked one such woman what her hobbies were. She responded, "I don't have any hobbies. I never really thought about it."
 
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Rival

Si m'ait Dieus
Staff member
Premium Member
I understand you position as it pertains to men, i am not arguing or disputing that. Also, if men are making you (or any women) feel like a prostitute there's reasons for that some are 1) You are looking for or hanging around places where those type of men hang out 2) Searching for men in the wrong places 3) Giving off that kind of vibe or a plethora of any reasons. I am not judging you but, just saying those are possible reasons. And trying to blame being single on being "too religious" is, with all due respect, as lazy and cheap of a cop out as i have ever heard in my life. There are millions and millions of great religious men (and ****ty ones too of course).

You said "Be sexually attractive to me" and then you complain about men treating you like a "prostitute"? Sorry, Lady but you need to start taking some responsibility and stop trying to blame men (maybe even some women) for your "situation".
My religion is not common and I expect his to be the same as mine. If you've met any other Noahides let me know.

Uh, well obviously he has to be sexually attractive to me and I to him, but this is no reason whatsoever to feel treated like a prostitute. If someone takes an interest in me, I just assume he finds me sexually attractive without ever having to actually bring it up. After all, who dates someone they don't find appealing to sleep with? I find many people sexually attractive but I don't automatically bring that up or make any mention of it in a way I know will come off as crass or overly forward. If I pursue a man or woman, I don't bring up how attractive he or she is because it should be obvious I find them so due to the fact that I want to be with him or her in the first place. Most people, not just me, expect to be treated with dignity and respect. Then again, I'm speaking from a cultural view that bars men from even having eye-contact with women, so maybe we are at an impasse.
 

PoetPhilosopher

Veteran Member
My religion is not common and I expect his to be the same as mine. If you've met any other Noahides let me know.

Uh, well obviously he has to be sexually attractive to me and I to him, but this is no reason whatsoever to feel treated like a prostitute. If someone takes an interest in me, I just assume he finds me sexually attractive without ever having to actually bring it up. After all, who dates someone they don't find appealing to sleep with? I find many people sexually attractive but I don't automatically bring that up or make any mention of it in a way I know will come off as crass or overly forward. Most people, not just me, expect to be treated with dignity and respect. Then again, I'm speaking from a cultural view that bars men from even having eye-contact with women, so maybe we are at an impass.

I read your posts. They weren't unreasonable at all, but based on what I've seen, they would alienate 99% of the male population. So yeah, you might have better luck with women unless you find that rare gem of a man.
 

PoetPhilosopher

Veteran Member
And for the record, I wasn't saying cowgirls were bad, above. Many of them are attractive. However, she will be talking about horses, while my mind can't listen because I'm thinking about say, the ROPs of a Graphics Processing Unit.
 

Saint Frankenstein

Wanderer From Afar
Premium Member
As a man I'd like to go on record saying I disagree. Perhaps it is in the way you go about dating. Bashing women is not going to help you. Try understanding them. There are many differences between men and women always have been and always will be, one must see more than the differences to have a successful relationship, whether it be with another man or a woman.
I don't think he's bashing women for the most part. He's just venting. Women can say similar things about men. You have to be careful not to generalize as if all members of a group are a certain way but the gendered expectations placed on men are harmful. But it's mostly men who created and uphold those expectations.
 

Rival

Si m'ait Dieus
Staff member
Premium Member
But it's mostly men who created and uphold those expectations.
This is one main reason why I have trouble feeling sorry for them. They are sick of these expectations but aren't open enough, at least not with me, to talk about how they feel about them and himself.
 

oldbadger

Skanky Old Mongrel!
I realize many of the people on these forums are a lot older than me and are married with grand children, but when I speak on my experiences I'm referencing what I've experienced and by no means what I say is universal to the experiences of others or women who've I never met. When I say dating sucks, it really does suck. In some small way I understand why some men create groups like MGTOW or create Incel groups. I think with the advent of technology such as social media, human beings are increasingly less inclined to mentally know their partner or value relationships. But I also think the standards in how we value each other have changed and have become unfair. Although celebrity relationships aren't necessarily reflective on everyday relationships, I do feel women like Miley Cyrus a self declared pan-sexual who married Liam Hemsworth, on social media kissing another woman and in response to her split have the audacity to have these care free quotes about being yourself. I see this everyday in the women I meet. It's like how do you get involved in a serious marriage, split, then take pictures as if you are living a care free life although knowing the other person you married is hurt? I heard some people say that women today are acting like men which is really not something I find even fair to us men because many of us don't behave like that.

I really feel like it really is unfair to some men when it comes to the dating pool because now the standards of courting has shifted. I'm always bombarded with women who feel the need to value my manhood based on their own unrealistic standards. For example, a woman doesn't have to have a car, but a man does. A woman can live at home with her parents, but a man shouldn't. A woman doesn't have to work and be on government assistance, but a man shouldn't. In my dating experience I've dated the car less, house less, job less, and even the immature. I think I've compromised certain values I hold dear all because I want to overlook my own values to get to know the person. But it not only has damaged my perspective of dating but I'm increasingly realizing that mentally there are a lot of women that don't have their s**** together mentally.

Now, I'm not making a universal judgment but simply based on what I've encountered, there are far too many women who are mentally damaged by their last relationship, and unfortunately tend to view men who they've encountered, and unconsciously judge the present man based on the last man. I was told by a friend of mine to "not look and let them come to you" but in those types of truisms I don't see how me intentionally not searching for something makes something come to me and even if that is true is it compatible? I swear nowadays women want a man that is 6'6 making six figures with a 12 inch member. These unrealistic standards women have, and women not being honest with themselves is really making the dating pool hard
Epic!
Can I call you Epic?

Stop!
Just the way that you write about dating and women gives anybody an idea why you don't get good dates! :)

Try these ideas and see if they're any good.

1. Stop trying! FGS, stop trying! Amazingly, once you've totally packed up (that means stopped, totally!) trying to get yourself a girlfriend, you'll find them bumping in to you with interest. Why? Because your body language will have totally changed.

2. Go and read Allan Pease 's book on body language, read the whole thing several times, but pay particular attention to female courting gestures.

3. Stop thinking about yourself and start practicing Empathy. If a woman feels, thinks, does or wants something you've got to understand it all and accept it all.

4. Stop moaning about imbalances in the World. Just accept them, smile and get on with your life. Nothing in life is fair, mate. :)
 

Earthtank

Active Member
My religion is not common and I expect his to be the same as mine. If you've met any other Noahides let me know.

Uh, well obviously he has to be sexually attractive to me and I to him, but this is no reason whatsoever to feel treated like a prostitute. If someone takes an interest in me, I just assume he finds me sexually attractive without ever having to actually bring it up. After all, who dates someone they don't find appealing to sleep with? I find many people sexually attractive but I don't automatically bring that up or make any mention of it in a way I know will come off as crass or overly forward. If I pursue a man or woman, I don't bring up how attractive he or she is because it should be obvious I find them so due to the fact that I want to be with him or her in the first place. Most people, not just me, expect to be treated with dignity and respect. Then again, I'm speaking from a cultural view that bars men from even having eye-contact with women, so maybe we are at an impasse.

Of course both people need to be physically and sexually attracted to each other, that goes with out saying but, my point was when that is the MAIN and MOST important factor then, you are setting yourself up for failure.

Ideally we all want to end up with the perfect partner, and of course "perfect" is relative to each person, what i find perfect you might find annoying and vice versa. But we do agree that we need to be 1) Sexually attracted to them and 2) They need to treat us with "dignity and respect". What's harder to find someone who's attractive or someone who treats you with "dignity and respect"? Personally, i would argue that finding someone who treats people with "dignity and respect" is harder to find. So, while being attracted to someone is important, you need to shift your focus from sex to respect, sex is easy to find, respect is NOT. And maybe you don't ever find the "perfect" person but, at least you'll get a whole hella lot closer finding that person if look for respect instead of sex. Also, i would argue that respect in it of it self is sexy lol ( of course as long as you don't find that person physically repulsive)
 

Saint Frankenstein

Wanderer From Afar
Premium Member
This is one main reason why I have trouble feeling sorry for them. They are sick of these expectations but aren't open enough, at least not with me, to talk about how they feel about them and himself.
True. There's also the fact that men who are seen as "weak" or "sissies" have to live with the threat of violence from other men. Women can be violent at times, but we know that the violence of men dwarfs that of women. I was just arguing about this stuff with my roommate a few minutes ago, actually.
 
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