Burger King Whoppers Are No Match For Self-Proclaimed Christian “Prophet”

[Skwim]

#1
God Threatened Me, So I Stopped A Tornado​

Simple question for Christian “prophets” who claim to have the power to control tornadoes: Why aren’t you stopping the ones that end up devastating towns and killing people? It’s like saying you have the power to heal diseases, but only for the people who pay money for your live events. Shady…

That claim was made yesterday by “seasoned prophet of God” Bobby Connor, who said on The Jim Bakker Show that he once stopped a tornado cold.

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“And so, here’s what happened,” Connor said. “The Lord said, ‘Bobby, if you don’t get up and rebuke his tornado, I’m going to send a tornado, blow the building away, hurt a lot of people and hold you responsible’ … So I got up and prophesied to the winds and you can [see] it, it’s in the film on the Weather Channel. When the prayer goes up to bind the tornado, the tornado is coming down like that, it stops in midair, reverses its rotation, goes up back up. The world record people said that it had [only] happened one other time in human history.”

“Isn’t that amazing?” he said.
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It is amazing. Very amazing. I’m especially amazed that God, doing his best Mafia Boss impersonation, threatened to “hurt a lot of people” unless Connor rebuked God’s creation… and said Connor would be blamed for God’s attack if he didn’t obey.

#2
All It Takes Is A Little Salt, Kerosene, And Bed Sheets

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By the way, Connor also told this bananas story involving a graphic injury, bodily organs falling out of him, and a miracle cure involving… salt. And kerosene. Really. Even Jim Bakker couldn’t believe it — and that guy will believe anything if you say God had a hand in it.

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source​

I would have put this in the Games / Pics / Jokes / Stories forum, but this is serious stuff folks.

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[Twilight Hue]

And he's regarded as a Southern Baptist?

Acts more pentecostal to me.

Just another circus freak con man hard at work in a line of many in his trade.

As PT Barnum puts it, "Never give a sucker an even break".

 

[Subduction Zone]

He sure can spin a yarn.

 

[Dan From Smithville]

#1
God Threatened Me, So I Stopped A Tornado​

Simple question for Christian “prophets” who claim to have the power to control tornadoes: Why aren’t you stopping the ones that end up devastating towns and killing people? It’s like saying you have the power to heal diseases, but only for the people who pay money for your live events. Shady…

That claim was made yesterday by “seasoned prophet of God” Bobby Connor, who said on The Jim Bakker Show that he once stopped a tornado cold.

​

“And so, here’s what happened,” Connor said. “The Lord said, ‘Bobby, if you don’t get up and rebuke his tornado, I’m going to send a tornado, blow the building away, hurt a lot of people and hold you responsible’ … So I got up and prophesied to the winds and you can [see] it, it’s in the film on the Weather Channel. When the prayer goes up to bind the tornado, the tornado is coming down like that, it stops in midair, reverses its rotation, goes up back up. The world record people said that it had [only] happened one other time in human history.”

“Isn’t that amazing?” he said.​

It is amazing. Very amazing. I’m especially amazed that God, doing his best Mafia Boss impersonation, threatened to “hurt a lot of people” unless Connor rebuked God’s creation… and said Connor would be blamed for God’s attack if he didn’t obey.

#2
All It Takes Is A Little Salt, Kerosene, And Bed Sheets

​

By the way, Connor also told this bananas story involving a graphic injury, bodily organs falling out of him, and a miracle cure involving… salt. And kerosene. Really. Even Jim Bakker couldn’t believe it — and that guy will believe anything if you say God had a hand in it.

​

source​

I would have put this in the Games / Pics / Jokes / Stories forum, but this is serious stuff folks.

.

Have I ever written on here about my ability to effect electricity? Maybe. I do not remember.

When I was born all the power in the hospital went out as I took my first breath. In an aside, the doctor that delivered me was named Robert Young. Look the name up. It must mean something really mystical.

Anyway, once while driving on Missouri Hwy 50 toward the town of Tipton, the power for the town went out as I entered the city limits. Continuing through town to the other side, I could see the power come back on in my rear view mirror as I left the city limits.

But wait. There's more.

I used to work late in my job and would walk along the sidewalks in front of the buildings on site to get to the parking structure. The sidewalks were well lit with street lights. When I would round a particular corner, the lights there would go out. After walking a ways and crossing the street to the lot, I noticed that the lights would be back on.

Still not convinced.

When I was about 20, I worked at a nursing home. One of my jobs was maintenance. While changing fuses on a 220 volt, 50 amp service panel I forgot to turn it off before pulling the fuses out. I pulled them out with my fingers. Nothing happened. No shocks. No death. Nothing. As if I had only grabbed the fuses by the barrels and never touched the contacts.

Coincidence you say. Possibly, but I think not. More like a true miracle. Maybe a gift. I do not know. I have no idea what it means. I am sure if the truth is ever revealed to me, I will be shocked.

 

[Dan From Smithville]

I do not know how I forgot to mention this. It is really important to the story too. My father was an electrician. Those are the guys that come in to work after the carpenters. There has to be something biblical about that. I bet that someone can even find some Bible verses that can be reinterpreted to make this meaningful.

You know what else. They use electricity to make Whoppers. It is all tied together like it was a plan.

 

[Hockeycowboy]

#1
God Threatened Me, So I Stopped A Tornado​

Simple question for Christian “prophets” who claim to have the power to control tornadoes: Why aren’t you stopping the ones that end up devastating towns and killing people? It’s like saying you have the power to heal diseases, but only for the people who pay money for your live events. Shady…

That claim was made yesterday by “seasoned prophet of God” Bobby Connor, who said on The Jim Bakker Show that he once stopped a tornado cold.

​

“And so, here’s what happened,” Connor said. “The Lord said, ‘Bobby, if you don’t get up and rebuke his tornado, I’m going to send a tornado, blow the building away, hurt a lot of people and hold you responsible’ … So I got up and prophesied to the winds and you can [see] it, it’s in the film on the Weather Channel. When the prayer goes up to bind the tornado, the tornado is coming down like that, it stops in midair, reverses its rotation, goes up back up. The world record people said that it had [only] happened one other time in human history.”

“Isn’t that amazing?” he said.​

It is amazing. Very amazing. I’m especially amazed that God, doing his best Mafia Boss impersonation, threatened to “hurt a lot of people” unless Connor rebuked God’s creation… and said Connor would be blamed for God’s attack if he didn’t obey.

#2
All It Takes Is A Little Salt, Kerosene, And Bed Sheets

​

By the way, Connor also told this bananas story involving a graphic injury, bodily organs falling out of him, and a miracle cure involving… salt. And kerosene. Really. Even Jim Bakker couldn’t believe it — and that guy will believe anything if you say God had a hand in it.

​

source​

I would have put this in the Games / Pics / Jokes / Stories forum, but this is serious stuff folks.

.

At Matthew 7:21-23, Jesus said there’d be people saying they would be doing “powerful works” in his name, but not with his strength....He denied them. Called them “workers of iniquity.” (A corrupt force apparently infiltrating groups of those claiming Jesus is their Lord, making them think the power they have is from Jesus! Brilliantly insidious!)

If what Connor says about the tornado is true and the Weather Channel video is real, where would he get this power? (Not from Jesus, nor from God.)

Any ideas? HINT: 1 John 5:19.

 

[Hockeycowboy]

Have I ever written on here about my ability to effect electricity? Maybe. I do not remember.

When I was born all the power in the hospital went out as I took my first breath. In an aside, the doctor that delivered me was named Robert Young. Look the name up. It must mean something really mystical.

Anyway, once while driving on Missouri Hwy 50 toward the town of Tipton, the power for the town went out as I entered the city limits. Continuing through town to the other side, I could see the power come back on in my rear view mirror as I left the city limits.

But wait. There's more.

I used to work late in my job and would walk along the sidewalks in front of the buildings on site to get to the parking structure. The sidewalks were well lit with street lights. When I would round a particular corner, the lights there would go out. After walking a ways and crossing the street to the lot, I noticed that the lights would be back on.

Still not convinced.

When I was about 20, I worked at a nursing home. One of my jobs was maintenance. While changing fuses on a 220 volt, 50 amp service panel I forgot to turn it off before pulling the fuses out. I pulled them out with my fingers. Nothing happened. No shocks. No death. Nothing. As if I had only grabbed the fuses by the barrels and never touched the contacts.

Coincidence you say. Possibly, but I think not. More like a true miracle. Maybe a gift. I do not know. I have no idea what it means. I am sure if the truth is ever revealed to me, I will be shocked.

Wow! You should join the Avengers, O Mighty One!

 

[Dan From Smithville]

Wow! You should join the Avengers, O Mighty One!

My other super power is charm.

They asked me, but they have a specific policy against dating in the ranks. I still think I can swing a date with the Black Widow and I am not letting anything get in the way of that.

 

[Skwim]

Have I ever written on here about my ability to effect electricity? Maybe. I do not remember.

When I was born all the power in the hospital went out as I took my first breath. In an aside, the doctor that delivered me was named Robert Young. Look the name up. It must mean something really mystical.

Anyway, once while driving on Missouri Hwy 50 toward the town of Tipton, the power for the town went out as I entered the city limits. Continuing through town to the other side, I could see the power come back on in my rear view mirror as I left the city limits.

But wait. There's more.

I used to work late in my job and would walk along the sidewalks in front of the buildings on site to get to the parking structure. The sidewalks were well lit with street lights. When I would round a particular corner, the lights there would go out. After walking a ways and crossing the street to the lot, I noticed that the lights would be back on.

Still not convinced.

When I was about 20, I worked at a nursing home. One of my jobs was maintenance. While changing fuses on a 220 volt, 50 amp service panel I forgot to turn it off before pulling the fuses out. I pulled them out with my fingers. Nothing happened. No shocks. No death. Nothing. As if I had only grabbed the fuses by the barrels and never touched the contacts.

Coincidence you say. Possibly, but I think not. More like a true miracle. Maybe a gift. I do not know. I have no idea what it means. I am sure if the truth is ever revealed to me, I will be shocked.

Undoubtedly you're

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