Over this many years, perhaps like most people, I have moved through stages, "Valleys of Death", and Lofty Heights.
Perhaps in the last decade, the views of others about belief have grown less and less important. Often lately, I feel that the pundits of any belief system seem to do little to make me curious about their belief systems.
Speak to me! Are there any who really work to have their belief system change them so they can more fully believe in a Creator. I don't care which one.
Right now, I find the soundtrack from "Arrival" to inspire and draw my soul more than anything.
I grew up being taught about God, and more or less simply assumed his existence. However, I have had experiences that have so moved me that I feel very close to our Creator.
They happen most commonly in connection with sounds, since I'm of an auditory modality. The climax of a symphony, the sound of birds in the tree, listening to children playing, the canting of the Shema.
It is also common for this to happen in response to the greatness of Nature and its awesome design. To stand beside a giant redwood, to sea the sea stretch out forever, to see the snowcapped mountains in the distance, to view the beauty of a flower strewn meadow in the springtime.... How can I not see the hand of the Creator?
But really these experiences can happen any time, for any reason.
1. They are transcendent, and feel realer than real
2. They never last
3. There is nothing I can do to MAKE them happen
4. I come away from them feeling as though I've learned something on the deepest level. When I am in the middle of one, I feel as those I have woken up.
5. There is an overwhelming sense of harmony with God and his universe, a kind of oneness with it all. It is as though the entire universe is dancing, and I am dancing my part along with it, all in one glorious act of worship. Yikes, that just does not do them justice -- which brings me to my last point:
6. I cannot put them into words or communicate them with others. (The Tao which can be expressed is not the eternal Tao.) In fact, if I even try, others inevitably butcher it in the translation. I therefore keep them to myself.
Whether you call these religious experiences or mystical experiences, I can read the writing or poetry of other mystics and instantly know they have experienced the same thing, whether they are the Baal Shem Tov, or a Zen story.
As my tagline says, those who do not see God everywhere see him nowhere.
"An angel of G‑d appeared to [Moses] in a flame of fire amidst the thorn-bush; and he saw that, behold, and the bush burned with fire, but was not consumed" (Exodus 3:2).
When my mind has doubts, the memory of these experiences sustain me. They give substance to my walk with God. They are the kavanah behind my observance.