I want to believe in god but i don't know if I can

Arian · Feb 12, 2019

Hello! I made this account to ask you all a question and maybe get some opinions. Sorry if this is annoying to read i'm just rambling about my thoughts/questions

I'm fourteen and I was raised till the age of eight maybe nine to believe in god and go to church every Sunday but my family stopped going because we moved states.. my dad and mom have always been faithful but my siblings don't believe in god and I personally don't know if I do either but the issue is, is that I WANT to believe in him. I think the thought of dying and having nothing is pretty terrifying so I really hope at least something exists after death but I can't shake the feeling of doubt- I was always taught to believe in "Santa" and "the tooth fairy" and after I was told those were fake I just assumed god was too because he is almost the same as those made up stories..
I'm really not trying to be offensive to anyone but i'm genuinely distressed about it!! I'm bisexual and my best friend is Lesbian and I don't wan't god to hate me or her for that or anyone for that matter it's frustrating because I feel like even if I do want to believe I can never fully believe

I do pray sometimes but it's always out of hopelessness and i'm not sure if anyone is even listening to me
It just sucks and I hope if there is a god he can forgive me for sometimes being angry at him or losing faith.

danieldemol · Feb 12, 2019

I’m a liberal and I don’t believe God will be unable to forgive doubts and anger.

I also don’t believe God hates people for being part of the LGBT crowd

Deeje · Feb 12, 2019

You do understand that the rules here prevent us from giving you personal advice, especially at your age, but if you have those specific questions that you would like answered, then perhaps that would be a good place to start.

I personally believe that God doesn't hate anyone. I believe that its what people do against his law that he hates. He is patient and wants to teach us. (2 Peter 3:9)

So, ask those questions, one at a time and evaluate the responses.

At 14, I am not sure that anyone is sure of their sexuality because of the influences that are common in the world today. Questioning one's orientation is a bit premature at your age, IMO. Wait until you have some wisdom and maturity under your belt. Regrets never feel good.

Ellen Brown · Feb 12, 2019

You are carrying a big load for one who is 14. Please do not worry. God will take care of you and lead you.

Ephesians 2:8-10 King James Version (KJV)
8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
9 Not of works, lest any man should boast.
10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.

This is a good place for you to come. If you ask simply for God to guide you and to help you, he will. I remember wanting to know God when I was around your age, but it was not until I was 27 that I finally began to understand. If your Mom and Dad are not going to church now, perhaps if you ask them, they will start going again and you can go with them.

I'm just here to help. Please let me know if you have more questions.

Ellen

LuisDantas · Feb 12, 2019

I don't know if I can help you there. Far as I can recall, I never feared death, nor did I ever want or fear an afterlife.

I do however hope you find your peace. I know that such worries can be crippling.

I understand. It was the same with me. It still is.

You should not feel guilty nor ashamed of being agnostic, atheistic or any other form of non-theist.

You just should not.

HonestJoe · Feb 12, 2019

It doesn’t seem to me that you really want to believe in God specifically, you’re just seeking answers for the difficult questions of life and the Christian God was just the default answer your background happened to offer. The fact is that everyone struggles with the same big questions you’re thinking of now and nobody has come up with definitive right answers, we all just find ways to work around them to life as happy and constructive lives as possible. It does seem that while you say you want to believe in God, the consequences of that believe are the cause (or at least triggers) of several of your concerns. If you’re working on the basis of what you’d want to believe, wouldn’t the idea of a universe naturally accepting of what and who we each are be more satisfying? God (or at least the form of god you’ve been introduced to) doesn’t need to be the basis for your worldview.

I would recommend talking to real people about this kind of thing; friends, family, teachers, councillors – whoever you feel most comfortable with. I know it’s difficult to broach this kind of topic with anyone but once you make that initial breakthrough it does become easier and you’ll likely discover that they have many of the same thoughts and feelings as you. They won’t have any definitive answers (even if they think they do

), but they will have new ideas about how to cope with our shared reality.

PureX · Feb 12, 2019

Arian, you don't have to "believe in" any gods. That's not what faith means, and not how it works (contrary to some religious claims). Faith is just a decision to trust in an idea that we don't know to be true, because the trust, itself, gives us some positive benefit.

It's very simple. Take some time to develop an idea of "God" that you would WANT God to be, if God were real/true. And then choose to act in your life as if that God is real/true, and see how that works out for you. Sometimes it will work well, and sometimes it won't. So when it doesn't, try altering your God-concept to accommodate how it doesn't work, and try again. Eventually you will re-develop an idea of God that comports with reality as you understand and experience it, and that provides you with at least some of the advantages that living without faith could not provide.

Faith is not about knowing/believing "the truth". There is no possible way for any human to know the truth of God. And those who claim they do know are just fooling themselves. Faith us the choice to trust in an idea of God in spite of our not knowing it's validity. And there are some powerful advantages to our being able and willing to do this. But those advantages will be more forthcoming if we each determine for ourselves what "God" we are choosing to trust in, and are willing to alter that concept as circumstances dictate. And that takes some time, and some effort, and some persistence.

I hope you will give it a try, and good luck.

Remté · Feb 12, 2019

I think the question proves you already do.

stvdv · Feb 12, 2019

Welcome to RF,

Feel free to ask any questions. There are no "stupid" questions, nor are there "annoying" things when you share what is bothering you.

You have an amazing cat. Cats are very in tune with feelings. Looks a bit like mine. Nice picture with the cat's "third eye"

paarsurrey · Feb 12, 2019

There is no harm in believing in God, whatever condition one is in. G-d is one and is merciful and forgiving.

Regards

Vinayaka · Feb 12, 2019

As others have said, there are no dumb questions. I think the vast majority of us went through something akin to what you're going through. There were no easy answer for us either, but we all got through it all the same. If I could go back, I'd be more in the present, thinking about what's happening today, rather than what the future might hold. I realise that's not very good advice, but please accept my best wishes anyway.

WalterTrull · Feb 12, 2019

"Don't worry. Be Happy."
Love that song. Best advice.
About God. Soooo many ideas. To me, God is like a DOING. One day, just walking along, mabe looking at the lake or trees or even tall buildings, DOING!! After a doing or two, the words start to make sense.
Still, best advice (hope this doesn't break forum rules)
"Don't worry. Be Happy."

Brickjectivity · Feb 12, 2019

Feelings of hopelessness have a life of their own. They wear reasons and excuses like coats, but they can be useful in small amounts. Mainly what I am thinking is that your feelings of hopelessness are normal and are probably not due to these various religious thoughts. They are important thoughts, though.

Unveiled Artist · Feb 12, 2019

I've been somewhat in the same situation briefly in my life. I wasn't raised religious, but years later (six some odd years ago), I joined the Catholic Church. I'm lesbian, and unfortunately, I learned that I wasn't accepted as a person either. While I never believed in god/deity, if I did, I'd probably feel the same as you do. You're not alone.

As for wanting to believe in god, there's nothing wrong with that. Take some people on this forum with a grain of salt (don't take it personal); but, if I were to think of something, maybe get to understand how you believe and understand of god.

What or who is god to you?

How do you feel he interacts?

Is he the abrahamic god? There are other gods you can "get to know" that doesn't believe in punishing people for whatever because they are LGBTQ.

There are also christian (guessing?) religions that do accept LGBTQ who believe in god. Episcopalian do. A lot of the less doctrinal churches do.

I don't know how you can believe in god if you never believed in anything supernatural. However, if you still have some sort of "spiritual feeling" somewhere, I'd explore that a bit, write it out or so have you, and find someone you trust to talk about it.

We have a lot of strong opinions on this board; but, it's not intentional.

Welcome aboard!

Quintessence · Feb 12, 2019

Arian,

I went ahead and moved your thread to Seekers Circle, which is intended as a safe space for questions like yours. Technically, by putting it in Religious Debates, people could just debate against you instead of with the intent to help and all that so I figured moving it would be a good idea.

Unveiled Artist · Feb 12, 2019

Good move.

robocop (actually) · Feb 12, 2019

My religion states that fear or rejection and the cares of the world is what gets people to deny the faith.

WalterTrull · Feb 12, 2019

Holy cow! Er, Bull??

robocop (actually) · Feb 12, 2019

Please explain... I respect you.

WalterTrull · Feb 12, 2019

Not deep. Just a little (well, a lot) surprised. (and trying to not be sexist)

I want to believe in god but i don't know if I can

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