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Christian women marrying muslim men

fpdlcpf

New Member
Hello everyone..
I would like to ask a question.
Im a christian but I am in love with a muslim men..
However we came across something which is blocking us from getting married and its very serious as we are even thinking of breaking up because we cannot compromise..
Both of us have our own religion which is fine but when it comes to our children, I would like them to be christian and my boyfriend is saying they must be muslims as per his religion. In islam if the children doesnt follow father's religion or the father doesnt teach them Islam, everyone will be punished.. However I cannot let my children to be muslim.. is there anything in the bible about interfaith marriage and the children's beliefs?
 

Godobeyer

the word "Islam" means "submission" to God
Premium Member
Hello everyone..
I would like to ask a question.
Im a christian but I am in love with a muslim men..
However we came across something which is blocking us from getting married and its very serious as we are even thinking of breaking up because we cannot compromise..
Both of us have our own religion which is fine but when it comes to our children, I would like them to be christian and my boyfriend is saying they must be muslims as per his religion. In islam if the children doesnt follow father's religion or the father doesnt teach them Islam, everyone will be punished.. However I cannot let my children to be muslim.. is there anything in the bible about interfaith marriage and the children's beliefs?
Why you don't want your children to be a Muslims,since you choose to marry a Muslim ?
What's problem with Islam ?
 

Brickjectivity

wind and rain touch not this brain
Staff member
Premium Member
is there anything in the bible about interfaith marriage and the children's beliefs?
The Christian letters are written 600 years before Muhammad. The Jewish scriptures are written thousands of years before that. I have met a Christian woman who married a Muslim, and he also disagreed with her about what faith the children ought to have. They never, ever came to an agreement.
 

meghanwaterlillies

Well-Known Member
Hello everyone..
I would like to ask a question.
Im a christian but I am in love with a muslim men..
However we came across something which is blocking us from getting married and its very serious as we are even thinking of breaking up because we cannot compromise..
Both of us have our own religion which is fine but when it comes to our children, I would like them to be christian and my boyfriend is saying they must be muslims as per his religion. In islam if the children doesnt follow father's religion or the father doesnt teach them Islam, everyone will be punished.. However I cannot let my children to be muslim.. is there anything in the bible about interfaith marriage and the children's beliefs?
keep 20 of them.
 

lovesong

:D
Premium Member
I have a friend who was raised in an interfaith home. Today she identifies as both Catholic and Hindu and finds ways to let the two mingle in a way that works for her. She was brought up going to both church and the temple, celebrating both sets of holidays, and learning both sets of stories. It was never a conflict for her. Do the same with your kids. Simply explain that mommy believes this and daddy believes that, and that they are special and lucky because they get both.
 

Deidre

Well-Known Member
This is a tough place to be. I explored Islam last year before I came back to Christianity, and became very immersed in the prayer life, and so on. One of my Muslim friends introduced me to a Muslim guy, and it became very clear very quickly, that it would have been tough to live my everyday life as a Muslimah, mainly because my ideas of dating and all of that are so different from most devout Muslims. I hope that you can find a compromise, because it's hard to find true love. :heart:
 

sun rise

The world is on fire
Premium Member
How about let them choose ?
Just another curious question :
why you prefer Muslim men than Christians ?
Teaching them both faiths and letting them choose would also be my suggestion. But from the sounds of your OP, you both have irreconcilable differences about how any children would be raised.

As far as what the Bible says, you can read differing opinions here: http://www.religioustolerance.org/ifm_bibl.htm
 

ZooGirl02

Well-Known Member
Hello everyone..
I would like to ask a question.
Im a christian but I am in love with a muslim men..
However we came across something which is blocking us from getting married and its very serious as we are even thinking of breaking up because we cannot compromise..
Both of us have our own religion which is fine but when it comes to our children, I would like them to be christian and my boyfriend is saying they must be muslims as per his religion. In islam if the children doesnt follow father's religion or the father doesnt teach them Islam, everyone will be punished.. However I cannot let my children to be muslim.. is there anything in the bible about interfaith marriage and the children's beliefs?

Hi there. Unfortunately what you bring up is one of the big problems with interfaith marriages and is one of the major reasons why Catholics can only enter an interfaith marriage with a special dispensation from their bishop. As for the Bible about interfaith marriages, I believe this applies:

This first one concerns those who are already married:

To the married I give this command--not I but the Lord--that the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does separate, let her remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife. To the rest I say--I and not the Lord--that if any believer has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. And if any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy through her husband. Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so; in such a case the brother or sister is not bound. It is to peace that God has called you. Wife, for all you know, you might save your husband. Husband, for all you know, you might save your wife. However that may be, let each of you lead the life that the Lord has assigned, to which God called you. This is my rule in all the churches.
(1 Corinthians 7:10-17 NRSV-CE)

Do not be mismatched with unbelievers. For what partnership is there between righteousness and lawlessness? Or what fellowship is there between light and darkness? What agreement does Christ have with Beliar? Or what does a believer share with an unbeliever? What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, 'I will live in them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Therefore come out from them, and be separate from them, says the Lord, and touch nothing unclean; then I will welcome you, and I will be your father, and you shall be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.'
(2 Corinthians 6:14-18 NRSV-CE)

Interfaith marriage was also absolutely forbidden during Old Testament times:

When the LORD your God brings you into the land that you are about to enter and occupy, and he clears away many nations before you--the Hittites, the Girga****es, the Amorites, the Canaanites, the Perizzites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites, seven nations mightier and more numerous than you-- and when the LORD your God gives them over to you and you defeat them, then you must utterly destroy them. Make no covenant with them and show them no mercy. Do not intermarry with them, giving your daughters to their sons or taking their daughters for your sons, for that would turn away your children from following me, to serve other gods. Then the anger of the LORD would be kindled against you, and he would destroy you quickly.
(Deuteronomy 7:1-4 NRSV-CE)

But anyway, we must always interpret the Bible in light of the teachings of the Magisterium. Hence, here is the Catechism of the Catholic Church:

Mixed marriages and disparity of cult

1633 In many countries the situation of a mixed marriage (marriage between a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic) often arises. It requires particular attention on the part of couples and their pastors. A case of marriage with disparity of cult (between a Catholic and a non-baptized person) requires even greater circumspection.

1634 Difference of confession between the spouses does not constitute an insurmountable obstacle for marriage, when they succeed in placing in common what they have received from their respective communities, and learn from each other the way in which each lives in fidelity to Christ. But the difficulties of mixed marriages must not be underestimated. They arise from the fact that the separation of Christians has not yet been overcome. The spouses risk experiencing the tragedy of Christian disunity even in the heart of their own home. Disparity of cult can further aggravate these difficulties. Differences about faith and the very notion of marriage, but also different religious mentalities, can become sources of tension in marriage, especially as regards the education of children. The temptation to religious indifference can then arise.

1635 According to the law in force in the Latin Church, a mixed marriage needs for liceity the express permission of ecclesiastical authority.137 In case of disparity of cult an express dispensation from this impediment is required for the validity of the marriage.138 This permission or dispensation presupposes that both parties know and do not exclude the essential ends and properties of marriage; and furthermore that the Catholic party confirms the obligations, which have been made known to the non-Catholic party, of preserving his or her own faith and ensuring the baptism and education of the children in the Catholic Church.139

1636 Through ecumenical dialogue Christian communities in many regions have been able to put into effect a common pastoral practice for mixed marriages. Its task is to help such couples live out their particular situation in the light of faith, overcome the tensions between the couple's obligations to each other and towards their ecclesial communities, and encourage the flowering of what is common to them in faith and respect for what separates them.

1637 In marriages with disparity of cult the Catholic spouse has a particular task: "For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband."140 It is a great joy for the Christian spouse and for the Church if this "consecration" should lead to the free conversion of the other spouse to the Christian faith.141 Sincere married love, the humble and patient practice of the family virtues, and perseverance in prayer can prepare the non-believing spouse to accept the grace of conversion.

A marriage between a Muslim and a Catholic or other Christian would be a disparity of cult.
 

David1967

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
Hello everyone..
I would like to ask a question.
Im a christian but I am in love with a muslim men..
However we came across something which is blocking us from getting married and its very serious as we are even thinking of breaking up because we cannot compromise..
Both of us have our own religion which is fine but when it comes to our children, I would like them to be christian and my boyfriend is saying they must be muslims as per his religion. In islam if the children doesnt follow father's religion or the father doesnt teach them Islam, everyone will be punished.. However I cannot let my children to be muslim.. is there anything in the bible about interfaith marriage and the children's beliefs?

The bible says not to be unequally yoked. In your situation it sounds like you each have a problem with the issue of your different faiths. In my experience, if something is a problem before your married, it becomes a bigger problem after marriage. You two need to have a serious conversation as to what if any room for compromise there is. If no room on either side , good chance its just not meant to be.
 

arthra

Baha'i
Having differences on how to raise the children in a particular faith is a problem and I'm not sure it can be resolved... As a Baha'i I could have married a Christian but I would not be able to agree to raise the children as Christians.. Of course we have a provision that at the age of fifteen our children have the right to decide on their own whether they want to be Baha'is or another religion.

Baha' Parent May Attend Baptismal ceremony, but Cannot Make any Commitment or Vow

'In reply to your letter of 5 September 1984 saying that a ... believer will soon marry a member of the Roman Catholic Church and asking whether it is permissible for their children to be baptized, the Universal House of Justice has instructed us to convey its guidance.

"Children of such a union may be baptized if the Christian parent so wishes; from the Bahá'í point of view the baptism has no effect. It must be emphasized, however, that the Bahá'í parent, while perfectly free to attend the baptismal ceremony, should not undertake any commitment or vow contrary to Bahá'í law and should not surrender her parental right to impart the Bahá'í teachings to her child."

(Compilations, Lights of Guidance, p. 139)
 

Shia Islam

Quran and Ahlul-Bayt a.s.
Premium Member
Hello everyone..
I would like to ask a question.
Im a christian but I am in love with a muslim men..
However we came across something which is blocking us from getting married and its very serious as we are even thinking of breaking up because we cannot compromise..
Both of us have our own religion which is fine but when it comes to our children, I would like them to be christian and my boyfriend is saying they must be muslims as per his religion. In islam if the children doesnt follow father's religion or the father doesnt teach them Islam, everyone will be punished.. However I cannot let my children to be muslim.. is there anything in the bible about interfaith marriage and the children's beliefs?
Sorry to write in this interfaith debate...
I will not debate, I will only present some points that you may find usefull..

Although in Islam, a man can has a Christian wife, I, personally don't encourage it..

As a religious man, my idea is that, even if the Christian mother is willing to for her children to be raised as Muslims, they will certainly miss the advantage of having a Muslim mother who will feed them with the love and teachings of Islam..

As of you as a Christian woman, what I can say is that Muslims believe in Jesus, Mary and the previous prophet, Islam is also full with values...
 

loverofhumanity

We are all the leaves of one tree
Premium Member
Hello everyone..
I would like to ask a question.
Im a christian but I am in love with a muslim men..
However we came across something which is blocking us from getting married and its very serious as we are even thinking of breaking up because we cannot compromise..
Both of us have our own religion which is fine but when it comes to our children, I would like them to be christian and my boyfriend is saying they must be muslims as per his religion. In islam if the children doesnt follow father's religion or the father doesnt teach them Islam, everyone will be punished.. However I cannot let my children to be muslim.. is there anything in the bible about interfaith marriage and the children's beliefs?

Your situation is not hopeless. What you both need is one common Faith that accepts both religions.
 

Godobeyer

the word "Islam" means "submission" to God
Premium Member
This is a tough place to be. I explored Islam last year before I came back to Christianity, and became very immersed in the prayer life, and so on. One of my Muslim friends introduced me to a Muslim guy, and it became very clear very quickly, that it would have been tough to live my everyday life as a Muslimah, mainly because my ideas of dating and all of that are so different from most devout Muslims. I hope that you can find a compromise, because it's hard to find true love. :heart:
I think to live with Muslim or non-Muslim man,depend the personality.
Some Muslims had open mind such this Algerian guy
Mok Saib - Fin Omri Fin فين عمري فين (What Do You Mean? Arabic عربي Version)

 

whirlingmerc

Well-Known Member
Hello everyone..
I would like to ask a question.
Im a christian but I am in love with a muslim men..
However we came across something which is blocking us from getting married and its very serious as we are even thinking of breaking up because we cannot compromise..
Both of us have our own religion which is fine but when it comes to our children, I would like them to be christian and my boyfriend is saying they must be muslims as per his religion. In islam if the children doesnt follow father's religion or the father doesnt teach them Islam, everyone will be punished.. However I cannot let my children to be muslim.. is there anything in the bible about interfaith marriage and the children's beliefs?

The Bible does indeed sa a Christian should not marry a non Christian.
Corinthians says to only marry in the Lord and not to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever.
If a non believer leaves a believer abandoning them, they are to marry only in the Lord.

The Bible does say (also in Corinthians) if only one parent is a Christian the children are in some sense 'holy'. I don't think it means they are Christians automatically or elect automatically but there is some covenent blessing and protection they have.

In the provendance of God, Queen Esther married a divorced pagan king and protection for the Jews and good came of it... so I would not say no good could ever come of such a choice because God is merciful but please get wise councel and pray about it

It's a difficult issue but who you marry is one of the most important decisions you will make
so make it with care. Once some decisions are made 'you can't unscramble eggs' but God is still merciful.
 
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