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Let Sunstone Interview You! Please! Pretty Please!

How helpful was this interview in your attaining to Nirvana?

  • Pretty gosh darn golly helpful!

    Votes: 2 11.8%
  • I became one with the questions.

    Votes: 5 29.4%
  • No help, but I did enjoy the free ice cream afterwards!

    Votes: 4 23.5%
  • Mu!

    Votes: 3 17.6%
  • I refuse to pick this option.

    Votes: 13 76.5%
  • I was deeply troubled and confused by the interview questions.

    Votes: 3 17.6%
  • Oh yeah? Well, I was traumatized, absolutely traumatized by the questions!

    Votes: 2 11.8%
  • My whole life was changed for the better...or maybe for the worse. I forget which.

    Votes: 4 23.5%
  • Wal-Mart has Nirvana on discount this week. 20% off!

    Votes: 3 17.6%
  • Can we have a poll about this poll next?

    Votes: 6 35.3%

  • Total voters
    17

Orbit

I'm a planet
Anyone and everyone is invited to answer the following series of in-depth, insightful, straight-shooting interview questions, but please make it easy on everyone else by quoting each question before responding. That way no one has to look up which question you're responding to.

Please answer any or all of these questions:

1) What would your favorite color be if you were standing in a pitch dark cave and could not see it? Would you most likely be wearing that color? If so, how?

Blue. Maybe. PS: I don't have to see if for it to be blue.

2) Where are you most likely to sing to yourself? What are you most likely to be doing when singing to yourself? And what song are you most likely to sing?

In the house. Drinking. "She's a....brick....house..."

3) Which of the arts are you least familiar with or feel you least appreciate? Why?

Modern poetry. Lack of education.

4) Please fill in the blank: "To me, a watermelon would be erotic if ____________________________."
...if well named served it to me on his inner thigh.."

5) If Micheal has three apples in his arms, and Stephanie has seven pears in hers, what is the velocity at which Rodger must collide with Micheal and Stephanie in order to produce a fruit salad? No googling, please.

2/3 the speed of light. You're welcome.

So as not to be gullible. A litter of scientists is 4.

7) If you had to choose, would you prefer on the one hand to have a sense of purpose or meaning in life, or on the other hand, to be happy in life? How did your enthusiasm for second-hand chicken costumes factor into your decision here?

8) Suppose you come home early from a business meeting only to find your spouse in bed with your best friend. What would you instantly assume was the real reason they were in bed together?

9) About Captain Kirk of the Enterprise... Why?

10) If you could enhance or improve one trait or characteristic about yourself, what would that trait or characteristic be? And why would you want to mess with it?

11) Please assume that Sunstone is a considerate, passionate lover...

Thanks!

12) What was one of the most thrilling moments of your life to date? What was one of the most fulfilling moments?

13) Taken as a whole, does your life's history seem to you to "read" like a story? If so, please describe the plot in 48 words or less. What do you suppose the climax will be, and when will it come? Do you think they'll be a happy ending?

14) Who is your best friend in the whole wide world? What makes them your best friend? Have you ever given them a wedgie? If not, why not?

15) Do you consider mischievousness a desirable trait in children and/or adults? Why, why not, or why not not?

16) When dressing a Spanish donkey in black fishnet stockings and lace garters, is it proper to put stockings and garters on all four legs, or just the two rear legs? Defend your reasoning!

17) On a ten point scale of one to @Rival, just how perverted are you?

18) Is there something you'd like to say for the camera?

19) Do you quite often talk on behalf of inanimate objects, such as walls or cameras?

20) Please fill in the blank: "My virginity was never so lost as ___________________________."

21) How do you typically respond to those people who insinuate that you dropped out of grade school because of your abject failure to draw a credible stick figure portrait of your family for art class?

22) What food item are you most likely to eat because you always think it will taste better than it actually does?

23)

24) What was question #23 all about?

Too many....
 
1) What would your favorite color be if you were standing in a pitch dark cave and could not see it? Would you most likely be wearing that color? If so, how?
I'd have to go with black. Even if the lights came on, I'd be invisible. Like a ninja or something.

2) Where are you most likely to sing to yourself? What are you most likely to be doing when singing to yourself? And what song are you most likely to sing?
Probably some earworm I got off the radio or a TV commercial. I would sing or hum to myself while doing housework. Right now, the Hormel "pu-pu-pu-pepperona" song is stuck in my head.

3) Which of the arts are you least familiar with or feel you least appreciate? Why?
Poetry. I don't get it.

4) Please fill in the blank: "To me, a watermelon would be erotic if ____________________________."
"If it talked dirty to me and got me drunk on cheap booze."

5) If Micheal has three apples in his arms, and Stephanie has seven pears in hers, what is the velocity at which Rodger must collide with Micheal and Stephanie in order to produce a fruit salad? No googling, please.
The answer is "D" - all of the above.

6) Why, if at all, is it important to you to be scientifically literate? And what is the average size of a litter of scientists, anyway?
Meh, I think the world works according to magic. Scientists don't occur in litters - they don't breed enough to have more than one at a time anyhow.

7) If you had to choose, would you prefer on the one hand to have a sense of purpose or meaning in life, or on the other hand, to be happy in life? How did your enthusiasm for second-hand chicken costumes factor into your decision here?
Chicken costumes, especially second hand ones that smell of BO, do not factor into my decisions about anything. I would prefer to have a sense of purpose or meaning in life. Happiness is a pipe dream.

8) Suppose you come home early from a business meeting only to find your spouse in bed with your best friend. What would you instantly assume was the real reason they were in bed together?
They needed to get naked and sweaty to talk. Why else?

9) About Captain Kirk of the Enterprise... Why?
Don't speak against Captain Kirk. Ever.

10) If you could enhance or improve one trait or characteristic about yourself, what would that trait or characteristic be? And why would you want to mess with it?
I would like to be taller. I am a manlet. It hurts my self confidence.

11) Please assume that Sunstone is a considerate, passionate lover...

Thanks!
Okay...will you hold me for a while? Can we take a long, hot shower together?

12) What was one of the most thrilling moments of your life to date? What was one of the most fulfilling moments?
No comment.

13) Taken as a whole, does your life's history seem to you to "read" like a story? If so, please describe the plot in 48 words or less. What do you suppose the climax will be, and when will it come? Do you think they'll be a happy ending?
No, my life reads like the warning label on a Chinese import product. It is in Engrish and makes no sense.

14) Who is your best friend in the whole wide world? What makes them your best friend? Have you ever given them a wedgie? If not, why not?
No best friend. No friends, period.

15) Do you consider mischievousness a desirable trait in children and/or adults? Why, why not, or why not not?
I don't know. I like being mischievous myself, but I am never on the receiving end of my mischief.

16) When dressing a Spanish donkey in black fishnet stockings and lace garters, is it proper to put stockings and garters on all four legs, or just the two rear legs? Defend your reasoning!
Both sets of legs. There is hair and a wet hole at both ends.

17) On a ten point scale of one to @Rival, just how perverted are you?
Hey Rival...how YOU doin'?

18) Is there something you'd like to say for the camera?
Flabber-dibble-whipple-schnapple fligger mcDookistaniain

19) Do you quite often talk on behalf of inanimate objects, such as walls or cameras?
No

20) Please fill in the blank: "My virginity was never so lost as ___________________________."
When I gave it to a woman I didn't like, wasn't attracted to, and didn't enjoy the experience with.

21) How do you typically respond to those people who insinuate that you dropped out of grade school because of your abject failure to draw a credible stick figure portrait of your family for art class?
Buck you fuddy. You're no so smucking fart. Your whole fam damily couldn't buck a fuffalo. Go back off in your own jack yard and see how your own feter peels.

22) What food item are you most likely to eat because you always think it will taste better than it actually does?
Vegetables. They are like sex - sounds great in my head, is total disappointment in reality.

Shame on you! How dare you ask me this!!!!

24) What was question #23 all about?
*sigh* I am so totally mad at you right now. For reelz.
 

lovesong

:D
Premium Member
1) What would your favorite color be if you were standing in a pitch dark cave and could not see it? Would you most likely be wearing that color? If so, how?
I like black, and tie-dye. I guess I could wear both? To do this I could just wear tie-dye since the dark room would make it look like black tie-dye, best of both worlds.

2) Where are you most likely to sing to yourself? What are you most likely to be doing when singing to yourself? And what song are you most likely to sing?
Alone in the woods somewhere. Or in an empty church of some sort. Basically anywhere where I could pretend to be powerful and mysterious. I would be singing anything that could add to that delusion.

3) Which of the arts are you least familiar with or feel you least appreciate? Why?

Dance. I have two left slippery tentacle-like lower appendages that prevent me from doing anything even somewhat coordinated.

4) Please fill in the blank: "To me, a watermelon would be erotic if ____________________________."
Leather.

5) If Micheal has three apples in his arms, and Stephanie has seven pears in hers, what is the velocity at which Rodger must collide with Micheal and Stephanie in order to produce a fruit salad? No googling, please.
I firmly believe that fruit salads are subjective.

6) Why, if at all, is it important to you to be scientifically literate? And what is the average size of a litter of scientists, anyway?
So that I can answer questions like "what is the average size of a litter of scientists." By the way, the answer is that the s

7) If you had to choose, would you prefer on the one hand to have a sense of purpose or meaning in life, or on the other hand, to be happy in life? How did your enthusiasm for second-hand chicken costumes factor into your decision here?
I think you can easily have both. Second-hand chicken costumes are my true purpose, and knowing this makes me happy.

8) Suppose you come home early from a business meeting only to find your spouse in bed with your best friend. What would you instantly assume was the real reason they were in bed together?
Threesome pre-game?

9) About Captain Kirk of the Enterprise... Why?
My allegiance with with Star Wars. Sorry. I'm not crossing that border today.

10) If you could enhance or improve one trait or characteristic about yourself, what would that trait or characteristic be? And why would you want to mess with it?
If I could actually have some kind of womanly figure that'd be great.

11) Please assume that Sunstone is a considerate, passionate lover...

Thanks!

Data, please. Preferably from a study involving a large sample size of at least 100 participants. Take your time.

12) What was one of the most thrilling moments of your life to date? What was one of the most fulfilling moments?
Traveling overseas alone, my first taste of freedom. The real world is exciting.

13) Taken as a whole, does your life's history seem to you to "read" like a story? If so, please describe the plot in 48 words or less. What do you suppose the climax will be, and when will it come? Do you think they'll be a happy ending?
I was a weird kid. Then I was (still am?) a weird teenager. I'm sure I'll still be weird going into my 20's. I never want a climax because things have to get worse afterwards, otherwise it wouldn't be a climax. No story is happy when the main character dies at the end.

14) Who is your best friend in the whole wide world? What makes them your best friend? Have you ever given them a wedgie? If not, why not?
My wonderful boyfriend. He loves me and buys me things and gives me food. He's beautifully insane like the starry night painting. No I've never given him a wedgie, but I might try now.

15) Do you consider mischievousness a desirable trait in children and/or adults? Why, why not, or why not not?
Children, no. Adults, yes. I don't even like well behaved children so mischievous ones would only be wore, but mischievous adults are fun.

16) When dressing a Spanish donkey in black fishnet stockings and lace garters, is it proper to put stockings and garters on all four legs, or just the two rear legs? Defend your reasoning!
All four. Until donkeys evolve hands in the front they're all legs and all legs are created equal as stated by the constitution of leg-wear.

17) On a ten point scale of one to @Rival, just how perverted are you?
You don't want to know.

18) Is there something you'd like to say for the camera?
Hi camera.

19) Do you quite often talk on behalf of inanimate objects, such as walls or cameras?
I've made it my most personal mission. I am their voice.

20) Please fill in the blank: "My virginity was never so lost as ___________________________."
The day it ran away and never came home for dinner.

21) How do you typically respond to those people who insinuate that you dropped out of grade school because of your abject failure to draw a credible stick figure portrait of your family for art class?
We can't all be Picasso!

22) What food item are you most likely to eat because you always think it will taste better than it actually does?
The cream cakes and pies in the cafeteria. I always want them to taste like they look but in the back of my mind I know they're just a whipped blend of wax and discount artificial flavors.

23)

24) What was question #23 all about?

The Void.
 

ShivaFan

Satyameva Jayate
Premium Member
Please answer any or all of these questions:

1) What would your favorite color be if you were standing in a pitch dark cave and could not see it? Would you most likely be wearing that color? If so, how?

The color called "mirror". Some say there is no such color. But there is. A mirror is that color, but you cannot see that color if there is light. Only in the dark is that color revealed, but a human eye cannot see well in the dark so most all humans have not seen that color.

I would be wearing the color "mirror" in the pitch black cave so that, if by chance, any light would enter even from a distance the color mirror on my gloves and sneakers would reflect back towards the source of the light.

Because my hands and feet would move, if it were another human or mammal their brain, due to thousands of years of evolution, would immediately overlay the four moving parts as a fellow being.

2) Where are you most likely to sing to yourself? What are you most likely to be doing when singing to yourself? And what song are you most likely to sing?

In the place where I would be doing "meditation". I would be playing an acoustic guitar. I would be singing, "Om. SREE. Ha-New-Maa-TAY-Veejayum".


3) Which of the arts are you least familiar with or feel you least appreciate? Why?

The art of boring art, no matter what art it is, I give it about 2 minutes tops. Then I walk away.

Because it is boring.

However, if the art can respond to my teasing while being boring at the same time, I might tease it.

4) Please fill in the blank: "To me, a watermelon would be erotic if ____________________________."

... if it were more pink than green outside.

5) If Micheal has three apples in his arms, and Stephanie has seven pears in hers, what is the velocity at which Rodger must collide with Micheal and Stephanie in order to produce a fruit salad? No googling, please.

We don't want to mix Michael with Micheal depending on the correct spelling or not, but more to the point we would not want to mix Michael and Stephanie into the salad. So the direction of this velocity by Rodger would need to come up from their feet and not horizontal, but not such as to drop them off their feet and mix them into the salad. Rodger would need to come up from the floor in one of those gladiator trap doors, at about .5 miles per hour.

6) Why, if at all, is it important to you to be scientifically literate? And what is the average size of a litter of scientists, anyway?

So I can measure the Ark I might build before the flood sent by God drowns the litter of 12 scientist at UC Berkeley who didn't see the flood coming like I did.

7) If you had to choose, would you prefer on the one hand to have a sense of purpose or meaning in life, or on the other hand, to be happy in life? How did your enthusiasm for second-hand chicken costumes factor into your decision here?

Just a sense is like saying just a taste but not a meal. You could never be happy with just a sense. And to have a meal you need more than one thing. Diversity is more than one. I think for love to exist, you need at least two. Then you can be happy, IMHO. The end result may not always be happy in diversity, but it won't happen in repetitiveness and that's for sure. Even if it worked the first time, a second-hand chicken costume only works on the first day of a 12 day costume party. By the third day, you become a picture frame on the wall or a lamp shade that becomes so familiar to the brain no one notices it anymore.

8) Suppose you come home early from a business meeting only to find your spouse in bed with your best friend. What would you instantly assume was the real reason they were in bed together?

To hide from the un-bed bugs.

9) About Captain Kirk of the Enterprise... Why?

Because no adventure can be great without a man. Or men.

10) If you could enhance or improve one trait or characteristic about yourself, what would that trait or characteristic be? And why would you want to mess with it?

To have all ten heads laugh together. Sometimes that can really scare another just at the right convenient moment.

11) Please assume that Sunstone is a considerate, passionate lover...

I don't assume that at all. I first need to read into the person and come to a temporary pigeon hole to put that person in, but people often change frum moment to moment so never assume even one reading today is good for tomorrow.
 

Helvetios

Heathen Sapiens
1) What would your favorite color be if you were standing in a pitch dark cave and could not see it? Would you most likely be wearing that color? If so, how?

“Htun looks black to humans. It is the color I like best, deeper than scarlet, more serene than cerulean, gayer than yellow. Your htun hair is the most beautiful I’ve ever seen.” - zhamM, a gnome in the novel Fairest by Gail Carson Levine. If I could find htun fabric, you bet I'd be wearing it! Given its status as a fictional colour, I'd settle for weaving deep jewel tones into a black base, especially red, violet, and teal.

2) Where are you most likely to sing to yourself? What are you most likely to be doing when singing to yourself? And what song are you most likely to sing?

I mostly sing in the shower, walking to and from campus (especially at night), at the park, at home alone while making food or drawing/painting. I like to sing in different languages to practice pronunciation: popular music in Finnish, French and sometimes Spanish; traditional-sounding music in Norse, Gaulish, Scottish Gaelic, Russian, Icelandic... and sometimes songs in English as well, mostly prog and hard rock these days.

3) Which of the arts are you least familiar with or feel you least appreciate? Why?

Honestly, it's got to be the dramatic arts. Good acting is like good typography: it flows so well that you may not even notice it's there, and your impression may be that the project could not have been done any better way. I continue to be interested in learning about the psychological process involved in making a movie or live show, but I have never been able to 'feel' like I can live in a character the way these talented people can.

4) Please fill in the blank: "To me, a watermelon would be erotic if ____________________________."

...it was grown in a custom mold, so as to conform to the shape of a Paleolithic fertility figure. Smokin'.

5) If Micheal has three apples in his arms, and Stephanie has seven pears in hers, what is the velocity at which Rodger must collide with Micheal and Stephanie in order to produce a fruit salad? No googling, please.

I will forward your inquiry to the dark-haired girl in panel two: http://xkcd.com/1658/

6) Why, if at all, is it important to you to be scientifically literate? And what is the average size of a litter of scientists, anyway?

I am scientifically literate not for myself, but for my major. And because it's fun. I must add: the correct term for a group of scientists varies by discipline. For example, a hyperproliferation of oncologists or a front of weather forecasters. Source: https://storify.com/naturerevmicro/sciencecollectivenouns

7) If you had to choose, would you prefer on the one hand to have a sense of purpose or meaning in life, or on the other hand, to be happy in life? How did your enthusiasm for second-hand chicken costumes factor into your decision here?

I prefer meaning! I might be happy in a second-hand chicken costume, but what's the point?

8) Suppose you come home early from a business meeting only to find your spouse in bed with your best friend. What would you instantly assume was the real reason they were in bed together?

Awaiting my arrival so we can explore the three-body problem. (Unrelated to the novel of the same name.)

9) About Captain Kirk of the Enterprise... Why?

Why not?

10) If you could enhance or improve one trait or characteristic about yourself, what would that trait or characteristic be? And why would you want to mess with it?

Inertia. I keep starting things, but I almost never finish them! I won't list all my pet projects here, but if I could throw myself into even one of them then I'd be blissfully happy (and busy!) for years to come. Unfortunately, the demands of life and my own uncertainty about my current limitations have temporarily embarrassed most of these projects. I await the arrival of my future self ten years older, who will undoubtedly be far more productive, sexier, interesting and motivated than my current self.

11) Please assume that Sunstone is a considerate, passionate lover... Thanks!

My God! It's full of stars!

12) What was one of the most thrilling moments of your life to date? What was one of the most fulfilling moments?

When I was diagnosed with cancer, oddly enough. That was my "**** just got real" moment where I became the hero and villain of my own story, experiencing serious physical setbacks for the first time and fighting for my life (while browsing Netflix every day and hanging out too much in RF chat). That moment changed my life.

13) Taken as a whole, does your life's history seem to you to "read" like a story? If so, please describe the plot in 48 words or less. What do you suppose the climax will be, and when will it come? Do you think they'll be a happy ending?

I suppose you could say that... and there are no happy endings, only finished and unfinished endings. Plot: "The protagonist learns much as a child, goes through a typically horrifying adolescence, survives cancer and becoming a young adult, only to realize that she will never accomplish everything she wishes or learn everything there is to know."

14) Who is your best friend in the whole wide world? What makes them your best friend? Have you ever given them a wedgie? If not, why not?

I'm not sure, I haven't lived long enough yet to find them. And I prefer wrestling to wedgies.

15) Do you consider mischievousness a desirable trait in children and/or adults? Why, why not, or why not not?

Absolutely! I mean, look at yourself, @Sunstone. What a disgraceful example for our young members of society. As a member of the Department of Opposition I have no choice but to approve.

16) When dressing a Spanish donkey in black fishnet stockings and lace garters, is it proper to put stockings and garters on all four legs, or just the two rear legs? Defend your reasoning!

All four legs, since one cannot divorce form from function. Fishnet stockings go on legs. I implore you to resist being jealous of the donkey for being more well-endowed in that category than you are.

17) On a ten point scale of one to @Rival, just how perverted are you?

Somewhere between @Sunstone and @MysticSang'ha!

18) Is there something you'd like to say for the camera?

Which camera? Are @Nietzsche and @Saint Frankenstein still stalking me?

19) Do you quite often talk on behalf of inanimate objects, such as walls or cameras?

Again with the cameras... you know, if you wanted reference material for your amateur nude paintings, it's polite to ask first.

20) Please fill in the blank: "My virginity was never so lost as ___________________________."

...sent to a sunny farm in the countryside where it can run and play and be young again with all the other virginities.

21) How do you typically respond to those people who insinuate that you dropped out of grade school because of your abject failure to draw a credible stick figure portrait of your family for art class?

I tell them I bought it from you.

22) What food item are you most likely to eat because you always think it will taste better than it actually does?

Anything with chocolate. There are good ways to do chocolate and bad ways to do chocolate, and I have a raging addiction to every single one of them.


Don't talk about your mother like that!

24) What was question #23 all about?

I'm afraid I can't repeat the content in polite company.
 

beenherebeforeagain

Rogue Animist
Premium Member
“Htun looks black to humans. It is the color I like best, deeper than scarlet, more serene than cerulean, gayer than yellow. Your htun hair is the most beautiful I’ve ever seen.” - zhamM, a gnome in the novel Fairest by Gail Carson Levine. If I could find htun fabric, you bet I'd be wearing it! Given its status as a fictional colour, I'd settle for weaving deep jewel tones into a black base, especially red, violet, and teal.



I mostly sing in the shower, walking to and from campus (especially at night), at the park, at home alone while making food or drawing/painting. I like to sing in different languages to practice pronunciation: popular music in Finnish, French and sometimes Spanish; traditional-sounding music in Norse, Gaulish, Scottish Gaelic, Russian, Icelandic... and sometimes songs in English as well, mostly prog and hard rock these days.



Honestly, it's got to be the dramatic arts. Good acting is like good typography: it flows so well that you may not even notice it's there, and your impression may be that the project could not have been done any better way. I continue to be interested in learning about the psychological process involved in making a movie or live show, but I have never been able to 'feel' like I can live in a character the way these talented people can.



...it was grown in a custom mold, so as to conform to the shape of a Paleolithic fertility figure. Smokin'.



I will forward your inquiry to the dark-haired girl in panel two: http://xkcd.com/1658/



I am scientifically literate not for myself, but for my major. And because it's fun. I must add: the correct term for a group of scientists varies by discipline. For example, a hyperproliferation of oncologists or a front of weather forecasters. Source: https://storify.com/naturerevmicro/sciencecollectivenouns



I prefer meaning! I might be happy in a second-hand chicken costume, but what's the point?



Awaiting my arrival so we can explore the three-body problem. (Unrelated to the novel of the same name.)



Why not?



Inertia. I keep starting things, but I almost never finish them! I won't list all my pet projects here, but if I could throw myself into even one of them then I'd be blissfully happy (and busy!) for years to come. Unfortunately, the demands of life and my own uncertainty about my current limitations have temporarily embarrassed most of these projects. I await the arrival of my future self ten years older, who will undoubtedly be far more productive, sexier, interesting and motivated than my current self.



My God! It's full of stars!



When I was diagnosed with cancer, oddly enough. That was my "**** just got real" moment where I became the hero and villain of my own story, experiencing serious physical setbacks for the first time and fighting for my life (while browsing Netflix every day and hanging out too much in RF chat). That moment changed my life.



I suppose you could say that... and there are no happy endings, only finished and unfinished endings. Plot: "The protagonist learns much as a child, goes through a typically horrifying adolescence, survives cancer and becoming a young adult, only to realize that she will never accomplish everything she wishes or learn everything there is to know."



I'm not sure, I haven't lived long enough yet to find them. And I prefer wrestling to wedgies.



Absolutely! I mean, look at yourself, @Sunstone. What a disgraceful example for our young members of society. As a member of the Department of Opposition I have no choice but to approve.



All four legs, since one cannot divorce form from function. Fishnet stockings go on legs. I implore you to resist being jealous of the donkey for being more well-endowed in that category than you are.



Somewhere between @Sunstone and @MysticSang'ha!



Which camera? Are @Nietzsche and @Saint Frankenstein still stalking me?



Again with the cameras... you know, if you wanted reference material for your amateur nude paintings, it's polite to ask first.



...sent to a sunny farm in the countryside where it can run and play and be young again with all the other virginities.



I tell them I bought it from you.



Anything with chocolate. There are good ways to do chocolate and bad ways to do chocolate, and I have a raging addiction to every single one of them.



Don't talk about your mother like that!



I'm afraid I can't repeat the content in polite company.
What polite company? Here? At RF????
 

lewisnotmiller

Grand Hat
Staff member
Premium Member
1) What would your favorite color be if you were standing in a pitch dark cave and could not see it? Would you most likely be wearing that color? If so, how?

Normally, my favourite colour is green, with grey being my preferred shade. But given the parameters here, I'll choose red. As in 'infra-red'. I can't see it, but hopefully the crack team of rescue-people will. Unless I'm on the run for a murder, in which case basic black would be my choice, for traditional bad-guy reasons.

2) Where are you most likely to sing to yourself? What are you most likely to be doing when singing to yourself? And what song are you most likely to sing?

It varies a lot. Weirdly, at least 50% of what I catch myself singing are stupidly addictive pop songs my girls play. This causes me no end of embarrassment, so I never admit to it.

3) Which of the arts are you least familiar with or feel you least appreciate? Why?

Visual arts, in particular painting. My sister has a good appreciation and understanding, which led me to more keenly understand my own lack of knowledge and insight.

4) Please fill in the blank: "To me, a watermelon would be erotic if ____________________________."

...it was wearing tassles?

5) If Micheal has three apples in his arms, and Stephanie has seven pears in hers, what is the velocity at which Rodger must collide with Micheal and Stephanie in order to produce a fruit salad? No googling, please.

Actually, if Rodger collides with Stephanies pear, he'll likely end up on charges, and by eating gruel.

6) Why, if at all, is it important to you to be scientifically literate? And what is the average size of a litter of scientists, anyway?

I think it's extremely important. It's also hard-work, though, and so I have decided to defer to Google-God in most cases.

7) If you had to choose, would you prefer on the one hand to have a sense of purpose or meaning in life, or on the other hand, to be happy in life? How did your enthusiasm for second-hand chicken costumes factor into your decision here?

Happy, to me, would require some sense of fulfillment, but not any particularly grand purpose. So I'll select happy, with the caveat that it's really not that simple. And my enthusiasm for second-hand chicken costumes actually pales into insignificance when measured against my earnest need for a hat made out of regurgitated turkey giblets.

8) Suppose you come home early from a business meeting only to find your spouse in bed with your best friend. What would you instantly assume was the real reason they were in bed together?

In this hypothetical, have I recently become best friends with Scarlett Johansson? Because I am assuming it's my birthday.

9) About Captain Kirk of the Enterprise... Why?

You're asking the wrong question. The right question is 'What do you do when you have Klingons off the starboard bow?'

10) If you could enhance or improve one trait or characteristic about yourself, what would that trait or characteristic be? And why would you want to mess with it?

Only thing I can think of is that I'm slightly too humble. Other than that, why would I mess with perfection?

11) Please assume that Sunstone is a considerate, passionate lover...

Thanks!

Well, word on the street (or, more to the point, the back alleys) is that you generally tip, so I suppose that could be seen as being a considerate lover, if strictly in the context of John-Hooker relationships.

12) What was one of the most thrilling moments of your life to date? What was one of the most fulfilling moments?

Most thrilling was either being accepted as a member of this fine site, or the times I was nearly killed. Mind you, the first was less scary than the second. Fulfilling? Bah...my daughters being born. I say bah, because it's a sappy and predictable answer, but no less true for all that.

13) Taken as a whole, does your life's history seem to you to "read" like a story? If so, please describe the plot in 48 words or less. What do you suppose the climax will be, and when will it come? Do you think they'll be a happy ending?

Well...maybe...let me try this...

Born of peasant stock, Lewsnotmiller rose to prominence in his formative years, molding the various personalities of his Kindergarten class into a ruthless cartel. Doll-slavery, Lego-running, and baggies of chalk dust provided the funds to arm his personal army of snot-nosed shock troops. Only later in life....

Nah. Can't do it. My life is more like a three part epic than a 48 word blurb. As for happy endings...yeah, I've had a few.
*buffs nails with a smug-smirk*

Err....unrelated questions...a happy ending is happy regardless of it being a solo experience, right?

14) Who is your best friend in the whole wide world? What makes them your best friend? Have you ever given them a wedgie? If not, why not?

I don't really have A best friend. But I have some very close friends. Whether they understand me or not (My sense of humour is twisted, let's face it) they have seen me at my best and worst, and love me regardless. Also, I don't bother putting on clean pants when they come around. That is a definite measure of my esteem for them. No wedgies though. Several of my best friends are female, and the mechanics scare me.

15) Do you consider mischievousness a desirable trait in children and/or adults? Why, why not, or why not not?

Yes, but on the mild end of mischeviousness. No matter the method, I think it's important to examine boundaries. However, I tend to be quite strict on my kids in some ways. Hard to explain here, really.

16) When dressing a Spanish donkey in black fishnet stockings and lace garters, is it proper to put stockings and garters on all four legs, or just the two rear legs? Defend your reasoning!

I generally go with stockings on all five legs, just for consistency (after all, hung like a donkey is a thing) but only put a garter on the left, rear leg. My thinking is that the donkey probably only has one derringer to stash there before it's big poker game with Wild Bill Hicock. However, if multiple deringers are to be carried, multiple garters will be required.

17) On a ten point scale of one to @Rival, just how perverted are you?
5.4

18) Is there something you'd like to say for the camera?

Usually I'm supposed to say something like 'Yes I am 18' and then show my drivers license before filming starts. Is this one of those sort of films?

19) Do you quite often talk on behalf of inanimate objects, such as walls or cameras?

Only when I'm trying to avoid disappointing conversations.

20) Please fill in the blank: "My virginity was never so lost as ___________________________."

When I made the mistake of visiting Swahili whilst dressed as a particularly attractive goat.

21) How do you typically respond to those people who insinuate that you dropped out of grade school because of your abject failure to draw a credible stick figure portrait of your family for art class?

With a law suit. Given that I was expelled in pre-school for extreme nose-picking, I clearly couldn't have dropped out of grade school.
(ie. extreme nose picking is when the nose being picked isn't yours, but the finger or meat hook is)

22) What food item are you most likely to eat because you always think it will taste better than it actually does?

Germans.


Exactly

24) What was question #23 all about?

It was a profound statement about the rationality of the masses. I myself, of course, am neither of the masses, nor rational, so I can share a smug smirk about them.
 

Acim

Revelation all the time
1) What would your favorite color be if you were standing in a pitch dark cave and could not see it? Would you most likely be wearing that color? If so, how?

Blue. Yes. Put it on before I entered the cave.

2) Where are you most likely to sing to yourself? What are you most likely to be doing when singing to yourself? And what song are you most likely to sing?

In the car. Driving. Something by Zeppelin.

3) Which of the arts are you least familiar with or feel you least appreciate? Why?

Sewing or weaving. Seems more like a chore.

4) Please fill in the blank: "To me, a watermelon would be erotic if ____________________________."

I could drip the juices on a person's body, watching them squirm as each drop hits them in a sensitive spot. And all the more delicious when licking it off.

5) If Micheal has three apples in his arms, and Stephanie has seven pears in hers, what is the velocity at which Rodger must collide with Micheal and Stephanie in order to produce a fruit salad? No googling, please.

Without googling it, I'm unsure. I'd have to go with: slowly and orderly.

6) Why, if at all, is it important to you to be scientifically literate? And what is the average size of a litter of scientists, anyway?

See what the opposition is holding faith in today. Around .999.... or just under 1.

7) If you had to choose, would you prefer on the one hand to have a sense of purpose or meaning in life, or on the other hand, to be happy in life? How did your enthusiasm for second-hand chicken costumes factor into your decision here?

Purpose. It didn't, until I googled it.

8) Suppose you come home early from a business meeting only to find your spouse in bed with your best friend. What would you instantly assume was the real reason they were in bed together?

My mobile phone was off and I didn't get the invite.

9) About Captain Kirk of the Enterprise... Why?

I can think of no clever response to this inquiry, moving on.

10) If you could enhance or improve one trait or characteristic about yourself, what would that trait or characteristic be? And why would you want to mess with it?

My sense of timing. I'll let you know next week.

11) Please assume that Sunstone is a considerate, passionate lover...

Thanks!

Was there ever a doubt?

12) What was one of the most thrilling moments of your life to date? What was one of the most fulfilling moments?

Thrilling: driving in snow storm, with fog, on highway with no plowed roads, no visibility of where road ended and side of road started, normally a 80 min. drive took me over 2.5 hours. Fulfilling: experiencing enlightenment for 3+ days.

13) Taken as a whole, does your life's history seem to you to "read" like a story? If so, please describe the plot in 48 words or less. What do you suppose the climax will be, and when will it come? Do you think they'll be a happy ending?

Premature birth, adorable kid, best imaginary friends ever, revert to shyness, self-doubt, move into agnosticism / skepticism, discover poetry (aka inner voice), followed by belief, off and on romance, earning a living, obtaining strong theism, and ongoing sense of humor.

When will the climax, come? Too busy laughing at that wording.

Death is just a beginning, of course it'll be a happy 'ending.'

14) Who is your best friend in the whole wide world? What makes them your best friend? Have you ever given them a wedgie? If not, why not?

None currently. Just a bunch of pretty good friends right now. No wedgies being given, because we are all older than 12.

15) Do you consider mischievousness a desirable trait in children and/or adults? Why, why not, or why not not?

Yes, and yes. Cause a little trouble now and then is cherished by the wisest men.

16) When dressing a Spanish donkey in black fishnet stockings and lace garters, is it proper to put stockings and garters on all four legs, or just the two rear legs? Defend your reasoning!

2 rear legs. Spanish donkeys make good dance partners and stockings on 'arms' is how you say, awkward.

17) On a ten point scale of one to @Rival, just how perverted are you?

This one goes to eleven.

18) Is there something you'd like to say for the camera?

(No. I am very camera shy. Why is that red light on?)

19) Do you quite often talk on behalf of inanimate objects, such as walls or cameras?

Often, but not quite often.

20) Please fill in the blank: "My virginity was never so lost as ___________________________."

That one time, at band camp.....
...when I danced with a Spanish donkey.

21) How do you typically respond to those people who insinuate that you dropped out of grade school because of your abject failure to draw a credible stick figure portrait of your family for art class?

I give them the finger. The pinky finger. They then say it all makes sense.

22) What food item are you most likely to eat because you always think it will taste better than it actually does?

Watermelon.

23)

24) What was question #23 all about?

It said, "How would you describe nothingness in 0 words or less?"
 

MountainPine

Deuteronomy 30:16
1. Either black or dark blue. Those are the colors I normally wear, so that's what I will most likely be wearing if I was in a cave.

2. Anywhere... while living in my own world... singing any song that would most likely provoke violent or depressive thoughts.

3. Martial arts, because I like fantasizing about fighting, which I can't do (have cerebral palsy).

4. This question doesn't deserve an answer.

5. The velocity of going to the store and buying the ingredients to make a fruit salad.

6. It helps me understand life, and “a litter of scientists” is the same size of a flock of carrots...

7. I can't answer this question. I have no purpose or happiness.

8. Really?

9. Because that's just the way it is.

10. My anger. I want to get rid of it for good.

11. Okay?

12. Most thrilling moment? Let's see.... riding Space Mountain at Disney Land. Most fulfilling moment.... my decision to go vegan.

13. No, my life can't be read like a story. Not interesting enough.

14. I don't want to answer this.

15. Mischievousness is a sign of intelligence.

16. Read the answer to #4

17. Two, maybe...

18.

19. Nope, I talk to and answer myself though.

20. still a virgin....

21. Huh?

22. cake frosting

23.

24. it's about my life.
 

VoidCat

Pronouns: he/him/they/them
1) What would your favorite color be if you were standing in a pitch dark cave and could not see it? Would you most likely be wearing that color? If so, how?
Black I guess. Darn if I know.
2) Where are you most likely to sing to yourself? What are you most likely to be doing when singing to yourself? And what song are you most likely to sing?
If I am trying to prevent autistic meltdown I sing. I also do so when I am upset. Rocking in place.The sound of silence.
3) Which of the arts are you least familiar with or feel you least appreciate? Why?
I know nothing about how draw. Just ain't good at it.
4) Please fill in the blank: "To me, a watermelon would be erotic if ____________________________."
I knew how anything could be erotic. I'm asexual nothing is erotic to me
5) If Micheal has three apples in his arms, and Stephanie has seven pears in hers, what is the velocity at which Rodger must collide with Micheal and Stephanie in order to produce a fruit salad? No googling, please.
Fast enough to be in pain.
6) Why, if at all, is it important to you to be scientifically literate? And what is the average size of a litter of scientists, anyway?
So we can laugh at scientists.A litter-divide the speed of light with the number of idiots out there. Thats the number
7) If you had to choose, would you prefer on the one hand to have a sense of purpose or meaning in life, or on the other hand, to be happy in life? How did your enthusiasm for second-hand chicken costumes factor into your decision here?
Purpose.I would find purpose for the suit.
8) Suppose you come home early from a business meeting only to find your spouse in bed with your best friend. What would you instantly assume was the real reason they were in bed together?
I probably gave my spouse permission to have sex with anyone they liked provided it was consensual since sex ain't my thing so this wouldn't bother me.
9) About Captain Kirk of the Enterprise... Why?
Who?
10) If you could enhance or improve one trait or characteristic about yourself, what would that trait or characteristic be? And why would you want to mess with it?
Get rid of my breasts I hate having them.I might get surgery to get rid of them
11) Please assume that Sunstone is a considerate, passionate lover...
No thanks
Thanks!
That would gross me out.
12) What was one of the most thrilling moments of your life to date? What was one of the most fulfilling moments?
Rollercoasters.Thanksgiving supper.
13) Taken as a whole, does your life's history seem to you to "read" like a story? If so, please describe the plot in 48 words or less. What do you suppose the climax will be, and when will it come? Do you think they'll be a happy ending?
Yes.Plot-Don't do anything unusually stupid without having fun.Climax-Death.No happy ending
14) Who is your best friend in the whole wide world? What makes them your best friend? Have you ever given them a wedgie? If not, why not?
Danielle my QPR partner. I love them to death.No too busy cuddling.
15) Do you consider mischievousness a desirable trait in children and/or adults? Why, why not, or why not not?
Yes it could be funny
16) When dressing a Spanish donkey in black fishnet stockings and lace garters, is it proper to put stockings and garters on all four legs, or just the two rear legs? Defend your reasoning!
2 it looks nicer that way.
17) On a ten point scale of one to @Rival, just how perverted are you?
Don't know about rival but I'm 6.7
18) Is there something you'd like to say for the camera?
Can't fix stupid but you can sedate it.
19) Do you quite often talk on behalf of inanimate objects, such as walls or cameras?
Yes
20) Please fill in the blank: "My virginity was never so lost as ___________________________."
As when I vomited into a trashcan afterwards.
21) How do you typically respond to those people who insinuate that you dropped out of grade school because of your abject failure to draw a credible stick figure portrait of your family for art class?
Laughter.
22) What food item are you most likely to eat because you always think it will taste better than it actually does?
Peanut butter on a cheeseburger
23)

24) What was question #23 all about?Aliens stole it along with the nose of this smiley face:)
All Questions have been answered
 
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