Huckabee defends Duggars over Teenage Molestation Accusations

[Unification]

You know, I'm beginning to realize that you are acting just like the Duggars do. You preach about your way to deal with issues and contend that what is presently available isn't working, so you judge it unsuccessful. You can preach a good sermon about forgetting the past but for most people that is a pipe dream. It means that along with the hurts of the past we would also be giving up the wonderful events of the past. I for one have no desire to do that. The past is part of who I am today. It has shaped the person I am and the one I am becoming. I learn new things every day and develop and change on an ongoing basis. I plan to continue to learn and grow until I die. And that means sometimes looking back so I can remember valuable lessons I have learned and remembering fun things that have happened 'back then'.

I must say I find it very hard to believe that any of us can totally wipe out our past and never think of it nor have it affect our present lives in some ways. The abuse I suffered as a child does not live in the forefront of my mind, but it is there, in the back of my mind. I can go for months and sometimes years and not think about it. Then something like this Duggar situation triggers it and it comes back to the front of my mind. The last time I had a trigger was Christmas 2013, so that's over a year. And the time before that was over three years from that Christmas. So it's not like it's an every day kind of thing. It will take a bit of time but eventually it will move back to it's little corner of the past and it won't show up again until it is triggered once more. So I have learned to live with that. It's like peeling an onion. There are layers and layers and you peel off one layer and lo and behold, there's another layer under that one. That's what dealing with sexual abuse is like for me and from what I gather, for most people who have experienced it.

And as I said before, unless you've experienced what we have, don't try to tell us how to deal with it. You have chosen not to indicate whether or not you have had this experience. That leads me to think you have not. Additionally, your cavalier attitude also makes me think you have not been sexually abused yourself. So you live your life your way and quit trying to tell me and others how to live ours. And I don't want or need your condolences. What I need is your respect for my right to live my life in a way that works for me without you trying to 'fix' things for me and others.

I'm happy that you're learning new things, please don't deem any new ideas as trying to tell someone how to live.

I'm not sure where this forgetting the past is coming from. The past cannot be changed and dwelling on the past is the problem, not having ones complete memory absent and destroyed. Releasing the burden. Defeating and being free from past, not having a memory wipeout. Emotional assumption: no one ever said to wipe out and eliminate past or memory or make this about you.

Alright, we are best off to allow the system, psychiatric counsel, education, medicine, statistical research, to tell someone then how to overcome something they have never experienced themselves also according to such. Trying to put a measure on experience. Society and system must have it figured out.

What is needed is truth. What is needed is being proactive for things like this to not happen anymore. Not to happen to others. A bunch of emotion and anger doesn't solve anything, whether aware or not. Another case comes up.... Another reaction. Where is the wisdom to prevent things from happening, why does all the energy come into play only when something happens, why not the energy for prevention? I'll note that none of this is directed or has been directed at you, so emotional self assumptions don't arise any longer... But rather for a collective society, and for folks to better assist and prevent this from happening, not only focussing on what to do when it happens. Prevention also.

Again, I'm not trying to fix things for you, please stop reacting from assumptive emotion and making something all about you. I cannot fix anything for you. Because someone is not willing to listen to any advice, or anything new doesn't mean someone is trying to fix someone. You're doing great apparently, and have no needs. That's great. I truly truly hope that.

I'm for spreading awareness, and prevention... Not getting emotional when sexual abuse does happen, rather help stop it from happening.

If I have never experienced such, where is my drive to help others and help prevention come from? Rather than make it about me, it's about others and not myself.

 

[Unification]

I have not been sexually or physically abused, but I was emotionally abused my mother. There is no way to forget it. When I did finally deal with it though, and wrote down all the things she put me through, it was hard at first, it did prompt rage, anger, and depression, but eventually I reached a point where I could add stuff to the list without it adding to the negativity. I am still very distanced from my mom, I can't really forgive her for some of the things she told me (including that she could "replace" me), but I learned to let it go.
And then there was what my brother done while he was addicted to his pain pills. That one there was no way to not have it brought up, it was extremely painful, but it had to be done, especially for his own sake.
One of the things therapists are good for is to help people work out and deal with their problems. This does require you to talk about things. But if you don't talk, they can't help. And some burdens are too great to carry alone.

The most effective healing, in my opinion, is not to forgot as memory won't be destroyed, only overcome... but from experience and listening to others who have the real experience in anything. Knowledge "of" is nothing at all compared to knowing/experiencing. Those others are more valuable than emotion and systematic knowledge "of." They are living sources to help prevention, help others regardless of other minds trying to place a measure and definition on something. But overcoming and experiencing the release of freedom oneself is the best method in my opinion to truly be able to help others and awareness prevention. A circular web of emotion after the fact does no avail. A circular web of having the experience, overcoming the experience by experiencing release and freedom collectively and spreading awareness and prevention, is what matters.

 

[JoStories]

We can exhaust our emotion on wishing bad things upon people, or we can exhaust our energy as advocates of peace and wish genuine change of minds for victims and perps.

Perhaps you missed it when I said I now do advocate service or that I worked as a SANE nurse or that I helped my own daughter through her rape and abuse. Perhaps you missed it when we all said to one another that we understood each other and had each other's backs. Perhaps you missed it when we said we stand in solidarity because of our shared experiences. perhaps you missed it when we all said we are survivors and not victims. Or maybe you didn't and you just want to stand with huckabee and the duggars and support this man who molested children. It is people like you that I've got to help survivors learn how to deal with.

 

[JoStories]

If no one gets over it, then the way our current support system is designed is garbage. The media, ourselves, counsellors, all the other minds that want to keep things alive and manifesting in a victims mind... Is garbage. Taking advantage of a victim for publicity is absolute garbage.

I see plenty of dead souls around me and in the world. I suffer with others I don't even know. No impartial eye. They are a part of me. People and other minds keep those victims experience alive indirectly by our own emotion and aura around them, and they bud ... when the experience of releasing and freedom is the way.

Justice will be served.

I said I had moved on. Did you not read this?

 

[JoStories]

Thank you for the advice.

After listening, I am seeing some individuals who believe in karma and reincarnation, yet cannot cope with the experiences handed to them. I see emotion, anger, bitterness. Saying they are free but obviously are not free. Having knowledge "of" what freedom is but not knowing/experiencing genuine freedom. I listened and I see folks being proactive for a system that is evidently garbage and not working. Something is wrong with the system and approach. Therefore, what is best is to discover the root cause and experience freedom and to discover a solution that doesn't feed into the system of reliving experiences over and over again. Deny oneself. Stay away from things and thoughts and minds that cause the reoccurring of emotion and pain of experience. They are feeding themselves and lack awareness of it. I have listened and am seeing nothing but blame and finger pointing... Is that what is best? Awareness is the solution. If that's not what is best, enlighten me on what your advice would be? To keep being bitter and emotional and living in something that cannot change or to move forward and be aware in more effective approaches to oneself and others?

I'm curious how you expect those of us who have experienced this to not be subjected to the issue when it is in the media and news very nearly daily. I'm curious how you would change this to make things 'all better'. We should put it behind us and move along, according to you. Do you tell this to men suffering PTSD from Iraq, viet nam, or the gulf war? Your world seems almost like something out of Aldus Huxley. Maybe in your fantasy world, it works. Real life, otoh, doesn't work that way.

 

[Unification]

Perhaps you missed it when I said I now do advocate service or that I worked as a SANE nurse or that I helped my own daughter through her rape and abuse. Perhaps you missed it when we all said to one another that we understood each other and had each other's backs. Perhaps you missed it when we said we stand in solidarity because of our shared experiences. perhaps you missed it when we all said we are survivors and not victims. Or maybe you didn't and you just want to stand with huckabee and the duggars and support this man who molested children. It is people like you that I've got to help survivors learn how to deal with.

Nothing was missed.

Negative experience turned into negative emotion and assumptions, not positive prevention, awareness. Reaction rather than response.

Now I am an assumed supporter suddenly and people like me are a problem.

If it helps you learn to forgive, stop assuming and judging others, experience freedom, turn negative experience into positive energy, and prevention, please blame me and no one else. Blame me for everything. If it means you forgiving, forgive everyone in the world but me. Please. Unleash all of your burdens on me, I would love to take them from you.

 

[Unification]

I'm curious how you expect those of us who have experienced this to not be subjected to the issue when it is in the media and news very nearly daily. I'm curious how you would change this to make things 'all better'. We should put it behind us and move along, according to you. Do you tell this to men suffering PTSD from Iraq, viet nam, or the gulf war? Your world seems almost like something out of Aldus Huxley. Maybe in your fantasy world, it works. Real life, otoh, doesn't work that way.

Deny oneself. Don't watch the news or participate in the media. All negative things. If I dwell on negativity, I will become negative and lack awareness of it.

Real life... I can either be emotional, blame, judge, or I can help assist others to prevent the unfortunate things of life. Prevent war, prevent sexual abuse, prevent harmful things to others. We are more valuable that we think, our potential is severely tarnished living in emotion and burdens. Helping change the outcome of an individual's troubled life
before they drastically change another's life in a negative way. There is such thing as a drastic positive change. There are many beings out there ripe to become ready to assault or abuse someone, intervention needs done by loving and peaceful individuals who won't tell them how worthless they are from their past, who won't tell them they're no good, who will forgive them and assist them in the way to experience freedom before they do go and abuse someone. Intervention for victims and intervention for ripe troubled youths, adults, and minds. The problem is, no one wants to help them, but label and judge them as worthless.

If any of my posts were actually read and listened to, instead of pure emotion, assumption, and reaction.... there are many ways to help.

PTSD from war? Simply telling others to move on and forget something doesn't work. All the treatment and words in the world won't help much. Why is there war and violence? For physical and material things. Why is there sexual abuse? For physical things and appearance. Want. desire. Lust. Emotion. Anger. Jealousy. Pride. Ego. Revenge. Living in the past. NO genuine FORGIVENESS and freedom. Control and mental conditioning of the system.

There truly is one great physician, healer, and counselor and most cannot find. Won't be found by anything physical or external. One denying themselves of the things above will find.

 

[JoStories]

Nothing was missed.

Negative experience turned into negative emotion and assumptions, not positive prevention, awareness. Reaction rather than response.

Now I am an assumed supporter suddenly and people like me are a problem.

If it helps you learn to forgive, stop assuming and judging others, experience freedom, turn negative experience into positive energy, and prevention, please blame me and no one else. Blame me for everything. If it means you forgiving, forgive everyone in the world but me. Please. Unleash all of your burdens on me, I would love to take them from you.

I shall finish this by saying this to you. I have turned my experiences into the positive. I advocate for survivors and continue to work with them. I don't need to unleash anything. I've done that and did it for years. Had I not, I wouldnot have been able to assist my daughter through her trials. Nor to assist others through a time that is beyond your comprehension. When a child is raped, it leaves a make that is permanent. The rapist takes a piece of their souls that at times, can never be retrieved. I was lucky. I was able to. I was able to turn this around to help,others. Tell me, what have you done?
That being said, I I'll never stop trying to eradicate and stop pedophiles. What this family did was cover up a pedophile's actions and try to make it go away with forced labor, etc. that will not help. Only long term therapy and complete removal from the area of children will. I won't coddle these men and women, I will strive to see them prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. That, sir, is recovery. Only when we stand firm against the harming of children can we begin to stop the epidemic of child abuse, in all its heinous forms. It is not for us to forgive this man nor to support him. It is for him AND his family to make amends and for his victims to forgive him, if they wish and move on, as all of us on this board have and which you cannot seem to see or understand. I stand with my sisters in this. We don't need your sermons or advice. We have a voice and we use it to end abuse.

 

[dgirl1986]

Can I vomit now? I am sick of molesters and rapists being excused...especially when they are religious as if that makes them exempt.

 

[Unification]

I shall finish this by saying this to you. I have turned my experiences into the positive. I advocate for survivors and continue to work with them. I don't need to unleash anything. I've done that and did it for years. Had I not, I wouldnot have been able to assist my daughter through her trials. Nor to assist others through a time that is beyond your comprehension. When a child is raped, it leaves a make that is permanent. The rapist takes a piece of their souls that at times, can never be retrieved. I was lucky. I was able to. I was able to turn this around to help,others. Tell me, what have you done?
That being said, I I'll never stop trying to eradicate and stop pedophiles. What this family did was cover up a pedophile's actions and try to make it go away with forced labor, etc. that will not help. Only long term therapy and complete removal from the area of children will. I won't coddle these men and women, I will strive to see them prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. That, sir, is recovery. Only when we stand firm against the harming of children can we begin to stop the epidemic of child abuse, in all its heinous forms. It is not for us to forgive this man nor to support him. It is for him AND his family to make amends and for his victims to forgive him, if they wish and move on, as all of us on this board have and which you cannot seem to see or understand. I stand with my sisters in this. We don't need your sermons or advice. We have a voice and we use it to end abuse.

You're not aware of what is beyond my comprehension or understanding.

What have I done? I'm not going to list and sound off alarms of what I have done. Do not do for myself or to be seen.

Stand firm for what? Justice alone? Nothing will end until something is prevented from happening in the first place. I fail to see what that kind of voice does. Eradicating and stopping a pedophile ... But a person is not a pedophile until they commit, what can prevent them from BECOMING a pedophile in the first place?

You have thousands of not only sisters out there, but brothers too who will become victims of abuse, and a voice for persecution after the cause and effects are too late. Damage will already be done.

No one is asking you or anyone who hasn't been effected by the perps actions to forgive him. However, if you contribute to the victims well-being, part of that is the victims forgiveness to the perp. It appears this case is being centralized and the damage has already been done. What can prevent a next potential case and no damage being done?

Does your voice want to be loud and used after the damage to a soul is already done? That is just feeding into the system indirectly and stops absolutely nothing. My voice wants to be loud before the next damage is done. Prevention.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

You're not aware of what is beyond my comprehension or understanding.
...
Does your voice want to be loud and used after the damage to a soul is already done? That is just feeding into the system indirectly and stops absolutely nothing. My voice wants to be loud before the next damage is done. Prevention.

You can't understand abuse if you haven't been abused. I have absolutely no idea what sexual abuse is like. But, knowing people who have been sexually abused, I know it hurts them, and I know it helps them to have someone who will support them. But I have no idea what that pain is like.
And who doesn't want to try and prevent the abuse? But, unfortunately, it happens. And, I do know, it is not healthy for the mind to keep emotions bottled up. You can't force anyone to talk about it if they are uncomfortable about it, and in general people don't try and force it. But you can reassure someone you will be there for them. And, letting them know you will be there for them does reinforce what happened. But, it does help a lot to have someone for support through hard times.
And going through things alone isn't good.

 

[Unification]

You can't understand abuse if you haven't been abused. I have absolutely no idea what sexual abuse is like. But, knowing people who have been sexually abused, I know it hurts them, and I know it helps them to have someone who will support them. But I have no idea what that pain is like.
And who doesn't want to try and prevent the abuse? But, unfortunately, it happens. And, I do know, it is not healthy for the mind to keep emotions bottled up. You can't force anyone to talk about it if they are uncomfortable about it, and in general people don't try and force it. But you can reassure someone you will be there for them. And, letting them know you will be there for them does reinforce what happened. But, it does help a lot to have someone for support through hard times.
And going through things alone isn't good.

I agree.

Although having an "it happens" mentality changes nothing. (Not saying that is you.) I don't want to have to be there or console anyone in the first place. Wait for something to just happen and then be a voice and support, rather be a voice and support before something happens. If one soul is positively affected, beautiful thing.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

I agree.

Although having an "it happens" mentality changes nothing. (Not saying that is you.) I don't want to have to be there or console anyone in the first place. Wait for something to just happen and then be a voice and support, rather be a voice and support before something happens. If one soul is positively affected, beautiful thing.

You can't stop it though. And not wanting to be there? I have no sense of empathy and even I realize that is very important, especially if you call someone a friend or a loved one.

 

[Unification]

You can't stop it though. And not wanting to be there? I have no sense of empathy and even I realize that is very important, especially if you call someone a friend or a loved one.

Would anyone rather have someone abused and have to be there for them or not abused and have to not be there for them?

That's the problem, it very well can be stopped.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Sure, cause and effect. It will happen. If I were a victim, I would know I am suffering and experiencing for something that I have caused another(s) to suffer and experience. It's a never ending circular experience of reaping what is sown until the price is paid. Justice.

Not irrelevant, justice will be served, but it changes nothing for the victim.

Horse****. Knowing a perpetrator is convicted and sentenced brings a survivor more faith in our justice system, and knowledge that the predator has no chances of victimizing others at school, work, in the neighborhood, etc.

Forgiveness doesn't have to be words or telling someone you have forgiven them. Forgiveness could be coming to peace and rest to what has occurred. Free from the emotion, trauma, and burden of past. This becomes more impossible to overcome the more minds that get involved and indirectly contribute emotion and such to it all.

Well yeah, two separate things. I can say though that healing is best with good counsel about how survivors deal with their own lives. Forgiveness is best left to one's religious and ideological leanings. Some of the ways forward are coping methods with various triggers, breathing exercises, grounding/anchoring, scanning the body for heart rate and other signs of anxiety/panic, and so on.

Freedom from trauma is the ability to look at your scars both physical and psychological and remind yourself of how far you've come from the traumatic incident(s).

"The education of reality." We are trying to scientifically educate "experience" with counsel and medication for PTSD. As some have said indirectly, this never seems to work. Mental disorders aren't even deemed "real" to science and education and PTSD doesn't even have a definition. Trying to educate, counsel, provide medication by measuring experience is near useless. The chemical imbalance in the brain is the excuse, so indirectly, the chemical imbalance in the brain can be the excuse any given perp uses. The physical, material, and animal realm is no different. It indirectly and collectively tells people to behave in such manner, indirect mental conditioning. Perhaps sexual abuse and other like behaviors wouldn't occur if people weren't focused on the appearance and physical drive of everything. That is the education we need to raise. This is the root to all problems in the world. Physical and material appearance, yet we are being preached a physical and material and animal world, of course most will live by this and this sight of appearance. That is the root cause to harm others. If it's preached that we have one life to live with not many consequences, of course one is more likely to divulge and devour others in physical pleasures of this very education received. It's a never ending circular system of hidden deceit and the only remedy is to escape such rather than feed into the system and lack awareness of it.

That's nice. I and other survivors are involved in various philosophical and ethics conversations about the nature of evil and how the human condition is nurtured or inherent.

In the meantime, we have to figure something out when somebody like me is suddenly thrown back to being choked to death when all that happens is a friend cups his hands under my chin out of affection. Trauma survivors need pragmatic solutions for day to day living when triggers occur. It could be big box stores, fireworks, scents, crowds, songs, anything that suddenly creeps up on a survivor.

Meds give temporary or long term solutions depending on the severity of the peripheral disorders. Counseling gives conversation opportunities for soundboarding, gathering details for patterns recognition, and solutions.

And it's vital we keep speaking out about the fact that justice must be served.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Would anyone rather have someone abused and have to be there for them or not abused and have to not be there for them?

That's the problem, it very well can be stopped.

How? We can take steps to try and reduce it, but we will probably never get rid of it entirely.

 

[Unification]

Horse****. Knowing a perpetrator is convicted and sentenced brings a survivor more faith in our justice system, and knowledge that the predator has no chances of victimizing others at school, work, in the neighborhood, etc.



Well yeah, two separate things. I can say though that healing is best with good counsel about how survivors deal with their own lives. Forgiveness is best left to one's religious and ideological leanings. Some of the ways forward are coping methods with various triggers, breathing exercises, grounding/anchoring, scanning the body for heart rate and other signs of anxiety/panic, and so on.

Freedom from trauma is the ability to look at your scars both physical and psychological and remind yourself of how far you've come from the traumatic incident(s).



That's nice. I and other survivors are involved in various philosophical and ethics conversations about the nature of evil and how the human condition is nurtured or inherent.

In the meantime, we have to figure something out when somebody like me is suddenly thrown back to being choked to death when all that happens is a friend cups his hands under my chin out of affection. Trauma survivors need pragmatic solutions for day to day living when triggers occur. It could be big box stores, fireworks, scents, crowds, songs, anything that suddenly creeps up on a survivor.

Meds give temporary or long term solutions depending on the severity of the peripheral disorders. Counseling gives conversation opportunities for soundboarding, gathering details for patterns recognition, and solutions.

And it's vital we keep speaking out about the fact that justice must be served.

According to our justice system, not much is going to be done to this young man. Faith in a justice system doesn't change anything that already has occurred. In other cases, the justice system punishes but that punishment is not equivalent to the experience of what someone has put another through. I know that divine justice works. While there is knowledge of that predator put away, what about the "potential" ones who are not yet predators and the victims who are not yet victims? Even if a predator has sexually abused two others, and is wrestling internally in mind about abusing another, prevention still will eliminate another victim. A soul saved is a soul saved.

I would love nothing more for victims to be fully at rest and at peace, with all triggers defeated. This is an internal experience. This is no one else's experience. Even to other victims, it is their own experience. The only place this trauma exists is internally. The only place it can be fully overcome is internally and by ones own self and healing energy. Conscious altering experience. All of the suffering, anxiety, pain, torment, triggers, lack of being able to overcome things enslaved me for years and years, until I discovered this. This is where the faith needs to be at, not a justice system. Masking agents such as pills are not going to work. Messing with brain chemicals by who knows truly what effects pills may have on humans is dangerous. Counseling can map itself and have evidence that it doesn't do a whole lot.

We can talk all that we want about evil and where it derives from. Acting and speaking out is essential to prevention. Again, there are many people ripe to act on abuse and violence. Those people need a change of conscious mind. Look around, everything is sex appeal, about material and physicality, wants and desires. When an animal mind wants, an animal mind is going to attempt to get. Why not? This is cool in the material and physical world. This is cool among youths. Science says everything is physical, and material, and we are animals and live once with no consequences... Divulge divulge. Not much stock on "experience" and "real" which is what victims actually experience. Not much stock on anything outside of scientific and physical attempt at measuring of experience. Science and the mind are two separate.

 

[Unification]

How? We can take steps to try and reduce it, but we will probably never get rid of it entirely.

Reduction is a start. If it's gonna happen, I'd rather have 999 victims instead of 1000. Every soul counts. Every soul collectively can make a drastic difference with awareness.

 

[JoStories]

Would anyone rather have someone abused and have to be there for them or not abused and have to not be there for them?

That's the problem, it very well can be stopped.

I asked you before and you didn't answer. How would you stop this? Please explain what you would do that hasn't been done already or admit you are blowing smoke up our arses.

 

[JoStories]

Reduction is a start. If it's gonna happen, I'd rather have 999 victims instead of 1000. Every soul counts. Every soul collectively can make a drastic difference with awareness.

Reduction how? How will you stop what is generally a silent crime? I'll not hold my breath as to date, it hasn't been stopped. You are full of bluster and seem to be intimating you have all these answers that the judicial system hasn't found yet. What would those answers be? The children of tomorrow would love to know....