Here's my situation. I used to be quite religious at a young age, a poster boy for childhood indoctrination, if you will. It was in college that I found myself gradually drifting away from religion. I was beginning to find the entire experience extremely suffocating. Eventually, it became apparent to me that rational/free thinking needs to be relegated to the backseat when it came to certain contentious issues, as the conclusions derived from going down that path would not sit well with what 'God' has to say on those matters.
Of course it took me a long time to finally admit this to myself. You do not overthrow your most cherished beliefs overnight, you try to cling on to them for as long as you can. I found myself obsessively perusing through articles and books desperately trying to find justifications for my religion's stance on a host of controversial issues, including homosexuality, women rights, on the existence of eternal hell etc. etc.
I truly was obsessed. I needed to know that there were good justifications out there, that I can go on believing in my religion without feeling any embarrassment or the need to appear apologetic. It finally dawned on me that my approach to answering these questions was as upside down as can be. I had already decided what the answers are, all that I was looking for were justifications for my predetermined answers (not that I got too many good justifications either). I was putting myself through this futile exercise only because I was born into a particular religion, these issues probably wouldn't have bothered me so much if I was born at a different place in a different time.
The intellectual freedom that I now feel is a wonderful breath of fresh air. Now that I am no longer emotionally invested in my religion, I no longer feel agenda-driven. This in turn allows me to consider any particular issue without feeling afraid that I will stumble across an answer/notion that contradicts the teachings of my religion.
Is there anybody else who has felt this way before? I was also wondering whether the religious people on this forum can clarify how/if they have dealt with this issue in their own lives. How do you reconcile the absolutist stance of religion (on certain matters) with the urge to remain unbiased and open-minded?
Of course it took me a long time to finally admit this to myself. You do not overthrow your most cherished beliefs overnight, you try to cling on to them for as long as you can. I found myself obsessively perusing through articles and books desperately trying to find justifications for my religion's stance on a host of controversial issues, including homosexuality, women rights, on the existence of eternal hell etc. etc.
I truly was obsessed. I needed to know that there were good justifications out there, that I can go on believing in my religion without feeling any embarrassment or the need to appear apologetic. It finally dawned on me that my approach to answering these questions was as upside down as can be. I had already decided what the answers are, all that I was looking for were justifications for my predetermined answers (not that I got too many good justifications either). I was putting myself through this futile exercise only because I was born into a particular religion, these issues probably wouldn't have bothered me so much if I was born at a different place in a different time.
The intellectual freedom that I now feel is a wonderful breath of fresh air. Now that I am no longer emotionally invested in my religion, I no longer feel agenda-driven. This in turn allows me to consider any particular issue without feeling afraid that I will stumble across an answer/notion that contradicts the teachings of my religion.
Is there anybody else who has felt this way before? I was also wondering whether the religious people on this forum can clarify how/if they have dealt with this issue in their own lives. How do you reconcile the absolutist stance of religion (on certain matters) with the urge to remain unbiased and open-minded?