ForeverFaithful
Son Worshiper
For what purpose do we toil under the sun, keep informed of all the evils of this age and take chances that result in disappointment and sorrow, for what do we strive?
I was absolutely content never having to be born, it was glorious, I had eternal bliss, I had never eaten from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, I was in the freedom of non-existence, a stranger to sorrow and failure, never did I need to bother with my self-esteem or worry about failure.
Why then do I wake in the morning? The only time I find true refuge from the woes of the world and my existential burdens is in my slumber where I feel no guilt nor fear, nor any anxiety, for no matter the dream, I always wake up. But woe once I do wake, for then I must toil, and strive, I must be delicate with my friends and family as not to distance them from me or alert them to my sorrows, I must strive to make a future for myself that I may prolong the sufferings of this age till I die a natural death while I am old and more weary, but when I crawl back into bed I have nothing to reflect on but my sin of sloth, and all my short-comings, only to awake the next morning and repeat this day in and day out.
Do I look to heaven to find meaning? For if you asked me if I believed Christ rose from the dead, I would not deny it, but I see no meaning for life in that, nor do I find assurance or comfort. Is it like the Evangelicals say, Once saved Always saved? In which case I might as well be dead, is it as the Romans teach that if I do not repent of every mortal sin I may taste ever lasting torment? Must I then pray that I be murdered on my way out of confession, or that I had died a miscarriage, do these conclusions not trouble the minds of others?
I've been a practising Christian for 2 years and everyone has told me to look to the Bible for answer, yet it's the very Bible that acknowledges this issues, for even Job cried out to curse the day he was born. The wise king Solomon denounced all the pleasures of life, understanding that both the foolish and wise taste death's sting.
What then do I look to earth for my meaning? The very thing I resent, the very thing that causes me this sorrow, where then do I find meaning with in it? Will it not all just pass away.
What then is the reason to live a life, is it fear of death or does life have any value?
I was absolutely content never having to be born, it was glorious, I had eternal bliss, I had never eaten from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, I was in the freedom of non-existence, a stranger to sorrow and failure, never did I need to bother with my self-esteem or worry about failure.
Why then do I wake in the morning? The only time I find true refuge from the woes of the world and my existential burdens is in my slumber where I feel no guilt nor fear, nor any anxiety, for no matter the dream, I always wake up. But woe once I do wake, for then I must toil, and strive, I must be delicate with my friends and family as not to distance them from me or alert them to my sorrows, I must strive to make a future for myself that I may prolong the sufferings of this age till I die a natural death while I am old and more weary, but when I crawl back into bed I have nothing to reflect on but my sin of sloth, and all my short-comings, only to awake the next morning and repeat this day in and day out.
Do I look to heaven to find meaning? For if you asked me if I believed Christ rose from the dead, I would not deny it, but I see no meaning for life in that, nor do I find assurance or comfort. Is it like the Evangelicals say, Once saved Always saved? In which case I might as well be dead, is it as the Romans teach that if I do not repent of every mortal sin I may taste ever lasting torment? Must I then pray that I be murdered on my way out of confession, or that I had died a miscarriage, do these conclusions not trouble the minds of others?
I've been a practising Christian for 2 years and everyone has told me to look to the Bible for answer, yet it's the very Bible that acknowledges this issues, for even Job cried out to curse the day he was born. The wise king Solomon denounced all the pleasures of life, understanding that both the foolish and wise taste death's sting.
What then do I look to earth for my meaning? The very thing I resent, the very thing that causes me this sorrow, where then do I find meaning with in it? Will it not all just pass away.
What then is the reason to live a life, is it fear of death or does life have any value?