Kathryn
It was on fire when I laid down on it.
Wow, something interesting just happened to me and it got me thinking.
As many of you know, I had an achilles tendon rupture last fall. Consequently, my very active lifestyle came to a sudden and screeching halt. I went from walking, hiking, dancing, etc to invalid and surgery and casts and crutches and walking boots and physical therapy - ugh.
This meant lots of sitting around and much less mobility. At one point, I got on my scales and realized with horror that I had gained about 12 pounds! My whole perception of myself was altered in a very negative way.
I went from thinking that I looked pretty dang good to be a grandmother of seven - never slim, but certainly firm and muscular and healthy - full of energy and, frankly, pretty attractive - to seeing myself as overweight, "lame," disabled, middle aged, flaccid, weak, and basically unattractive.
There was some truth to that -I AM middle aged, and my left leg has turned into silly putty. Also, I truly am not as firm as I once was, because of the lack of aerobic exercize my injury had caused.
I had not stepped on the scales since probably the first week of January. No need - I knew I was fat, flabby, and disgusting. I also have not tried all that hard to lose weight - I mean, sporadically I would skip meals, or cut down on portions, but nothing really planned or disciplined.
I started physical therapy a month ago, and that has involved three or so hours of exercize a week.
Anyway, this morning, I was thinking, "Well, I may as well put my winter clothes up and take stock of my spring and summer wardrobe. I'm sure I'll need to buy some basics since I'm so fat. I guess I better get on the scales to see just how fat I really am."
I HAD LOST EVERY BIT OF WEIGHT I HAD GAINED. I started pulling clothes out of the closet and trying them on and THEY ALL FIT.
Now, of course this relieved me somewhat -even though some of my weight has shifted and I have a lot of firming up to do. But it got me to thinking, "Wow, how on EARTH could I not know that I had lost 12 pounds?"
Do you know how hard it is to lose twelve pounds if you're really trying? Besides that - I've been clothes shopping and I would have sworn to you that nothing "normal size" fit me. I mean, I did pick up a larger size the other day and it was too big, but ... I never connected the dots...
BECAUSE OF MY NEGATIVE SELF IMAGE.
In other words, I couldn't see reality because I was so blinded by my own fears and insecurities and my self imposed image of how I appeared to others. Others have told me at work, "Wow, you're really looking good - have you lost weight?" and I have sincerely told them, "Heck no. I've GAINED weight," and then genuinely thought to myself, "Are they freaking kidding me? They must feel sorry for me."
Wow. I am 49 years old and up till this very minute I really had no idea just how much we can fool ourselves when we don't have an accurate self image.
Your thoughts?
As many of you know, I had an achilles tendon rupture last fall. Consequently, my very active lifestyle came to a sudden and screeching halt. I went from walking, hiking, dancing, etc to invalid and surgery and casts and crutches and walking boots and physical therapy - ugh.
This meant lots of sitting around and much less mobility. At one point, I got on my scales and realized with horror that I had gained about 12 pounds! My whole perception of myself was altered in a very negative way.
I went from thinking that I looked pretty dang good to be a grandmother of seven - never slim, but certainly firm and muscular and healthy - full of energy and, frankly, pretty attractive - to seeing myself as overweight, "lame," disabled, middle aged, flaccid, weak, and basically unattractive.
There was some truth to that -I AM middle aged, and my left leg has turned into silly putty. Also, I truly am not as firm as I once was, because of the lack of aerobic exercize my injury had caused.
I had not stepped on the scales since probably the first week of January. No need - I knew I was fat, flabby, and disgusting. I also have not tried all that hard to lose weight - I mean, sporadically I would skip meals, or cut down on portions, but nothing really planned or disciplined.
I started physical therapy a month ago, and that has involved three or so hours of exercize a week.
Anyway, this morning, I was thinking, "Well, I may as well put my winter clothes up and take stock of my spring and summer wardrobe. I'm sure I'll need to buy some basics since I'm so fat. I guess I better get on the scales to see just how fat I really am."
I HAD LOST EVERY BIT OF WEIGHT I HAD GAINED. I started pulling clothes out of the closet and trying them on and THEY ALL FIT.
Now, of course this relieved me somewhat -even though some of my weight has shifted and I have a lot of firming up to do. But it got me to thinking, "Wow, how on EARTH could I not know that I had lost 12 pounds?"
Do you know how hard it is to lose twelve pounds if you're really trying? Besides that - I've been clothes shopping and I would have sworn to you that nothing "normal size" fit me. I mean, I did pick up a larger size the other day and it was too big, but ... I never connected the dots...
BECAUSE OF MY NEGATIVE SELF IMAGE.
In other words, I couldn't see reality because I was so blinded by my own fears and insecurities and my self imposed image of how I appeared to others. Others have told me at work, "Wow, you're really looking good - have you lost weight?" and I have sincerely told them, "Heck no. I've GAINED weight," and then genuinely thought to myself, "Are they freaking kidding me? They must feel sorry for me."
Wow. I am 49 years old and up till this very minute I really had no idea just how much we can fool ourselves when we don't have an accurate self image.
Your thoughts?