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This thread is so gay

Is it always wrong to use the word gay as an insult or as a joke?

  • Yes

    Votes: 27 52.9%
  • No

    Votes: 24 47.1%

  • Total voters
    51

Smoke

Done here.
Depends who you ask. Not everyone has the same opinions on what is offensive.
That's very true. And not all opinions are of equal value.

But as an interesting experiment, why don't you tell a Puerto Rican that his mother is a whore, and then open a discussion on the subjectivity of offense?
 

Nerthus

Wanderlust
But as an interesting experiment, why don't you tell a Puerto Rican that his mother is a whore, and then open a discussion on the subjectivity of offense?

Sorry, I did I say that insulting someone was okay?! No.

So that comment has nothing to do with what I was saying.
 

Smoke

Done here.
Everyone's opinion is equal. Some might be narrow minded or plain wrong, but are equal all the same.

That may be the dumbest post I've seen you make.

But I don't care anymore. For five years on RF, I've put up with Christian hatred of gay people and Muslim hatred of gay people, and every conceivable slur and lie about gay people, and being addressed on this forum in a manner that would not be permitted of any other group. And now I'm actually expected to explain why it's offensive to use "gay" as an insult. It's the last ******* straw.

I'm done here.
 

Nerthus

Wanderlust
That may be the dumbest post I've seen you make.

But I don't care anymore. For five years on RF, I've put up with Christian hatred of gay people and Muslim hatred of gay people, and every conceivable slur and lie about gay people, and being addressed on this forum in a manner that would not be permitted of any other group. And now I'm actually expected to explain why it's offensive to use "gay" as an insult. It's the last ******* straw.

I'm done here.

Where did I once say that using the term as an insult isn't offensive?! I have said that it is in pretty much every post here!

I don't agree with many peoples opinions - but that doesn't make mine any more important or correct. Their opinion may be wrong, but it's their opinion and are fully entitled to it.

Now, once more in case you didn't catch it again -I DO NOT agree with using the word 'gay' as an insult.

Oh, and for the record - I'm gay.
 

Primordial Annihilator

Well-Known Member
Re the facebook thread and the word gay.

Is using the word gay as an insult or a joke equivalent to using the word ni**er in the same context?

I have to admit I have unthinkingly used the word jokingly at times, g*y that is, not ni**er. I don't personally feel homophobic but I suppose nobody who is does.

I find it mildly offensive when someone uses the word gay to reflect something negative or as a derogative insult.
But what can you do?
I personally just ignore those type of non malign comments and mentally file that kind of individual under 'I' for Idiot.
 

Father Heathen

Veteran Member
At one time "gay" meant gleeful and "******" meant a bundle of sticks. And "******", or rather "nigga" has changed with time in it's meaning and usage. I think whether or not something is offensive depends largely on context.
 

Panda

42?
Premium Member
It's exactly as offensive as "******-rigged," "Indian giver," and "Jewed him down."

If people used the word "Irish" or the word "Hindu" the way you use the word "gay," would you even have to ask the question?

That's the way I see it too.

Even if it was originally used as "happy and joyful", that's not the way it is being used today, either as describing sexuality or as in the context of the OP.

Exactly the meaning of the word changed, how is this any different.

I also don't think it can really be used as an insult but more of a sort of mock insult.

However I am aware some people are insulted by it so it is all about knowing your environment. To me words themselves aren't insulting it is all about context, but I know some people are different.
 

javajo

Well-Known Member
Yes its wrong. As difficult as life has become for gay people, and many, whether they say so or not, do not like the expression, I think its best not to use it. You may be hurting someone and not know it and they have it hard enough as it is.
 

Tarheeler

Argumentative Curmudgeon
Premium Member
Exactly the meaning of the word changed, how is this any different.

I also don't think it can really be used as an insult but more of a sort of mock insult.

However I am aware some people are insulted by it so it is all about knowing your environment. To me words themselves aren't insulting it is all about context, but I know some people are different.

Because the meaning of the word has not changed. People are simply using the word in a different way.

This is no different than calling people "***" back when I was a kid. They used it because it was a term for a homosexual. The meaning of the word didn't change just because you were talking about someone who annoyed you instead of someone who was homosexual.

You used the word because it meant homosexual; it was that definition that made it insulting.

Same here. The current definition of gay is exactly why it is being used.
 

Panda

42?
Premium Member
Because the meaning of the word has not changed. People are simply using the word in a different way.

This is no different than calling people "***" back when I was a kid. They used it because it was a term for a homosexual. The meaning of the word didn't change just because you were talking about someone who annoyed you instead of someone who was homosexual.

You used the word because it meant homosexual; it was that definition that made it insulting.

Same here. The current definition of gay is exactly why it is being used.

Probably at the start but it has now taken on the same sort of role that the s-word does. Being a multiply purpose word can be used for different reasons.

Like I said above I am aware some people are insulted by it and that have to be careful and you should generally avoid using it.
 

Penumbra

Veteran Member
Premium Member
The way it is usually used, out of ignorance, it's definitely wrong.

Though, it seems to be the case that people use potentially hurtful slang against themselves or their friends and it becomes ok, at least to them.

It's exactly as offensive as "******-rigged," "Indian giver," and "Jewed him down."

If people used the word "Irish" or the word "Hindu" the way you use the word "gay," would you even have to ask the question?
Yes.

I see people use certain words like that and the question is still relevant. Context is important.

Examples:

-My first college roommate was a lesbian, and she used the word gay a lot in jokes, including the phrase "that's so gay". Some of her friends did as well.

-I know a coworker who is of polish heritage that uses the phrase, "Well, I'm Polish" every time he messes something up or misunderstands something.

-Some of my friends have teased another friend about an Asian stereotype. She's always playing video games and her car is full of really cute stylistically Asian toys, so every once in a while someone will be like, "You're so asian." and she laughs and sometimes uses the phrase herself.

-There have been times where I've been really scared by a spider or something and my partner would be like, "Geez Lyn, you're such a girl!" and proceed to take care of it. And it doesn't bother me.

In those contexts, that type of humor or insult seems to be used as a way of recognizing and appreciating differences (such as pointing out stereotypes and laughing about them if they are true in some ways), or it can be a way of demonstrating that they are comfortable with their self and aware of jokes and stereotypes about who they are and just brush them off (like the guy who points out his heritage whenever he makes a mistake). It's also kind of a measurement or display of how thick someone's skin is. Whether people will brush things off or get all bent out of shape about them.

It may not be the most healthy type of humor, and I avoid it myself because there's really no upside to using it but a lot of potential downside, and it's kind of low-brow humor in my opinion anyway. But there are definitely different levels of it depending on context.
 

Midnight Pete

Well-Known Member
It could actually mean that someone is "too serious". We sometimes call a person 'gay' so that he/she would 'lighten up' his environment. It could also mean that someone is 'clumsy'. That's the 'trend' in our class. But it isn't meant as an insult.

The N-Word. Black people use it amongst each other as a term of endearment. My question is do gays use "gay" the same blacks use the n-word? Do gays ever tease each other about their own gayness? They must, if they have a sense of humour at all.
 

Primordial Annihilator

Well-Known Member
The N-Word. Black people use it amongst each other as a term of endearment. My question is do gays use "gay" the same blacks use the n-word? Do gays ever tease each other about their own gayness? They must, if they have a sense of humour at all.

I call my bf a b**ch and he calls me a boy tart or something...gutter **** thats another one hes has used...in jest...thats about it.

In anger I might call him a gay B***ard or something.
 

Penumbra

Veteran Member
Premium Member
I call my bf a b**ch and he calls me a boy tart or something...gutter **** thats another one hes has used...in jest...thats about it.

In anger I might call him a gay B***ard or something.
Do you view that as healthy communication, or no?

In my post I pointed out that when people use potentially hurtful slang against themselves or their friends, it becomes ok to them rather than insulting. I don't see all that much harm in it but don't consider it the healthiest of humor types either.

What are your thoughts?
 

Penumbra

Veteran Member
Premium Member
The N-Word. Black people use it amongst each other as a term of endearment. My question is do gays use "gay" the same blacks use the n-word? Do gays ever tease each other about their own gayness? They must, if they have a sense of humour at all.
My roommate did quite often.
 
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