Welcome to Religious Forums, a friendly forum to discuss all religions in a friendly surrounding.
Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:We hope to see you as a part of our community soon!
Best to be as truthful as possible, without harming others.
Tact has never been my strong point, sadly. I think I could have saved myself a world of hurt in my younger years if I just learned to tell little white lies and stop being such a blunt brat.
Same here. I have no filter. I always think if somebody asks me my opinion, that they actually want to know my opinion. Of course, that's the two-way road of honesty. Don't ask a question if you don't honestly want to know the answer.
What's wrong with this exchange?
"How are you?"
"Well, I've been better - but that's a whole other story. How have YOU been?'
The point of etiquette (and that's really what we're talking about here) should never be fakery or an effort to impress someone else. It should always be the comfort or ease of THE OTHER PERSON.
Now - if they really want to hear about your ovarian cyst, then they'll ask for more details. Otherwise, keep it to yourself.
Of course, you can say that they're hypocritical when they ask "How are you?" and don't really want to hear the answer, but since when is it your job to correct them? You can't be responsible for their actions - you can only be responsible for your own. Just because they may be less than sincere doesn't give you the automatic right to lambast them for it - especially when they're probably just trying to be pleasant.
Besides that - they may really WANT to know how you're doing - they may not just want to hear every gory detail in the first five minutes of your joint conversation.
Just be kind. Is it really that hard?
That's why you should always take what they say at face value. I can't be sure that they are being shallow or hypocritical when they ask "How are you". That's why I shouldn't lie as a response by just saying "fine" if I'm not. At least I should say "I don't really want to talk about it", but I shouldn't assume their intentions.Of course, you can say that they're hypocritical when they ask "How are you?" and don't really want to hear the answer, but since when is it your job to correct them? You can't be responsible for their actions - you can only be responsible for your own.
That's why you should always take what they say at face value. I can't be sure that they are being shallow or hypocritical when they ask "How are you". That's why I shouldn't lie as a response by just saying "fine" if I'm not. At least I should say "I don't really want to talk about it", but I shouldn't assume their intentions.
Since I can't know their intentions and I can't change their actions, I should always assume the best, eg that they're being honest in their question.
And that's why if I tell them how I'm doing, and they get mad that they have to stand there and listen to something more than just "fine", it's 100% their fault.
I'm not; I'm a very guarded person. It will be either "fine", "alright", or "not too good".Aqua, I just hope when someone asks, "How have you been?" you're not one of those obnoxious people who jump off into a ten minute litany of minutia
And that's my biggest problem. Why is it "polite" to ask strangers about how their life has been if you don't really want to know? First off, you don't know them that well - it's really none of your business how they have been. But if you really want to probe that deeply into their life, you better get ready to have them answer you.merely being polite.
Lol agreed. "Yes, only ok. It's not like I won the lottery. It is just another monotonous day in my monotonous life, exactly like yesterday and sure to be exactly like tomorrow."839311 said:They will say, "just 'ok'"? Then I'll respond by saying whats wrong with 'ok', lol.