Gay adoption is good for children

[Autodidact]

My general thought is that it is better to be brought up in a traditional home with a mother and father. In lieu of that, being brought up in a home where people care for you is better than being shuttled around foster homes.

On what do you base your opinion that it is better to be raised by a mother and father than by two mothers or two fathers?

 

[kdrier]

I guess my main concern would be that a homosexual couple might be overly sensitive to their children, as in I find it highly likely that they might be over protective of their children, or give them a semi-sheltered lifestyle, and if they did not subtely force a sheltered lifestyle onto their child, I'm sure the child would live one anyway. It's just weird, that's all. I'm sure they would not feel to comfortable taking their friends or significant others to their house to meet their homosexual parents.

For me, my dad is like my best friend and father. We talk about everything, drink beer together, you name it. My mom is very caring and motherly like. I don't talk to my mom the same way I do my dad, she has a feminine view on everything, we can't relate most of the time. I find it very important in raising a child they have both feminine and masculine influences in their life, because too much of just one isn't healthy in my opinion.

 

[Autodidact]

Meant by whom? btw, Approximately 1/3 of lesbians do have children.

Not ment by anyone in particuliar.. whoever or whatever created us I guess. Homosexuals can not produce a child, bottom line, so genetically they are not suppose to have children. As long as they were caring parents and not trying to ram all kinds of weird stuff into their kids head making them mentally unstable I would not have a problem with it. I would obviously rather a traditional family than a gay one though.

Of course homosexuals can reproduce. I myself have 3 children. But that's not the issue here; the issue is adoption. Why would you obviously rather a traditional family? Why are you concerned about lesbians ramming weird stuff into their kid's heads any more than heterosexuals?

 

[Autodidact]

I guess my main concern would be that a homosexual couple might be overly sensitive to their children, as in I find it highly likely that they might be over protective of their children, or give them a semi-sheltered lifestyle, and if they did not subtely force a sheltered lifestyle onto their child, I'm sure they would do it anyway. It's just weird, that's all. I'm sure they would not feel to comfortable (assuming and hoping they would turn out straight) taking their friends or significant others to their house to meet their homosexual parents.

What on earth do you base this idea on? Why would gay parents be any more protective than straight parents? That is weird. I think it might help if you actually met some gay and lesbian parents.

For me, my dad is like my best friend and father. We talk about everything, drink beer together, you name it. My mom is very caring and motherly like. I don't talk to my mom the same way I do my dad, she has a feminine view on everything, we can't relate most of the time. I find it very important in raising a child they have both feminine and masculine influences in their life, because too much of just one isn't healthy in my opinion.

Why? Why is this important? What if your dad was quite different from you? What if your mom was a tomboy type? What if your parents were very similar? Would any of that make them bad parents?

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Parents who adopt are wonderful for children. Gay parents fall under this umbrella. :yes:




Peace,
Mystic

 

[sandy whitelinger]

On what do you base your opinion that it is better to be raised by a mother and father than by two mothers or two fathers?

First of all I didn't say two mothers or two fathers. I didn't qualify it at all.

Now, why? The simple explanation is that role modeling happens between a mother and a father and children pick up on that. I believe that the mechanics of a stable family/relationship is taught to children through parental modeling. Since the male/female is the greater preponderance of child rearing situations (as opposed homosexual couples) it would be better to have a more predominate situation modeled.

That said, a loving environment is more important than a neglectful or everchanging one.

 

[ChristineES]

I usually mind my own business, but I feel a strange need to post this. There are reasons why gays should be able to adopt kids.

1. There are a lot of kids who don't have homes and live in the system. A real home would be better for a child than living in some children's home. And it would be definitely be better than some child bouncing through Foster homes.

2. Before any child is adopted, the people adopting him/her must go through numerous checks (this includes heterosexual couples as well).

3. Gays are just as able to love and nurture as heterosexual couples.

I can't think of any reason NOT to allow gays to adopt kids. I hope I am not out of place saying this but the only difference between gays and straights is who they sleep with and no other, that I know of.

 

[Random]

You seem to be assuming that being homosexual implies hating the opposite sex.

Not at all. Remove that assumption and feel free to read it again.

 

[djrez4]

This doesn't seem like the best forum but couldn't find one more suitable. I would like to discuss the assertion that permitting gay and lesbian people to adopt is beneficial to children. Would anyone care to argue the other side?

As long as no one is abusing the kids, I don't see the difference between hetero and homosexual couples raising children. It really boils down to opportunities, to me. As long as the kids can play baseball or build doll houses, who cares if mommy teaches them to keep an eye on the ball or if daddy tells them the duvet doesn't match the paint in the bedroom? If a certain family setting narrows horizons for the kids, hetero or homo, it's a bad situation.

I'm surprised no one has pulled it the "it'll turn 'em gay!" argument. Are all the members here intelligent enough to skip that one?

 

[kdrier]

What on earth do you base this idea on? Why would gay parents be any more protective than straight parents? That is weird. I think it might help if you actually met some gay and lesbian parents. Why? Why is this important? What if your dad was quite different from you? What if your mom was a tomboy type? What if your parents were very similar? Would any of that make them bad parents?

There is a "what if" to every scenario, and parameters to every scenario. If my dad was quite different from me I'm sure my life wouldn't be nearly as amazing as it is...I would be content probably. see when two people have a child, usually their child is similar in one way or another, because they are produced the same genetics as their parents.. obviously.. that's biology. I'd say nearly all the guys I know share a great relationship with their father, is it a must? no, but it sure helps in the raising of a child.

I'd say 9/10 times a traditional family is better for raising a child, for obvious reasons. Of course there is circumstances. If the child does not have ANY parents, sure, a homosexual couple willing to take them in would be great. If a kid had alcoholic parents, sure, a homosexual couple might be the best for them. I think biological parents play more in things than people think.

There is a balance to life. You can't have black without white, you can't have the good without the bad. You can't have an up without a down, and you can't have masculine without feminine, therefore having both a masculine and feminine influence is a must to ensure the mental health of a child. I'm not saying it's not possible, but it's not the best for a child

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

Really, the question should be; What happens if a child of same-sex parents grows up heterosexual but imbued with a dissociative complex regarding the opposite sex due to the parents negative attitude towards their opposite sex? For example, the daughter of a Lesbian couple who wants to engage men sexually, but is emotional stunted in relation to males due to her parents lifetime of treating the opposite sex like the untouchable "other". Where is her sex life and prospect of happiness in relationships going to wind up? Likewise, the son of a male homosexual couple who is sexually attracted to girls. What's his template? A boy without a mother is going to make a very f**ked up man, and a girl without male idols is going to be disadvantaged in attempting to forge lasting and emotionally fulfilling relationships with men. IMO, only...

I don't think that being attracted to one gender necessarily means expressing (or even having) negative feelings toward the other gender. I don't see any reason why a lesbian woman would show a negative attitude toward men because of her orientation than a heterosexual woman would show a negative attitude toward other women.

Through my entire life, neither of my parents showed any sort of romantic attraction to anyone to anybody other than each other. I did not follow the "template" that my father demonstrated for me, i.e. attraction only to my mother. In my own experience; it seems like your assumption is incorrect. Why do you think that people would tend to follow the same pattern of behaviour as their parents in the way you've suggested?

 

[Autodidact]

First of all I didn't say two mothers or two fathers. I didn't qualify it at all.

But that is what the thread is about: gay and lesbian adoption.

Now, why? The simple explanation is that role modeling happens between a mother and a father and children pick up on that. I believe that the mechanics of a stable family/relationship is taught to children through parental modeling. Since the male/female is the greater preponderance of child rearing situations (as opposed homosexual couples) it would be better to have a more predominate situation modeled.

I think I understand you. You want children to have parents who model a stable, loving, long-term relationship. However, I would suggest that gay and lesbian parents can model this just as well as heterosexual parents.

That said, a loving environment is more important than a neglectful or everchanging one.

Thanks. That is the most important thing, and people do lost sight of that. I'm only taking issue to sort of get the argument going--that's the purpose of the thread.

 

[kdrier]

So yes, depending on the scenario, I agree with gay and lesbian adoption. I don't agree with artificial insemination to lesbian couples though.

 

[Autodidact]

There is a "what if" to every scenario, and parameters to every scenario. If my dad was quite different from me I'm sure my life wouldn't be nearly as amazing as it is...I would be content probably. see when two people have a child, usually their child is similar in one way or another, because they are produced the same genetics as their parents.. obviously.. that's biology. I'd say nearly all the guys I know share a great relationship with their father, is it a must? no, but it sure helps in the raising of a child.

Remember, we're talking about adoption here, so none of this would apply. And, obviously, having a great relationship with someone doesn't require being exactly like them.

I'd say 9/10 times a traditional family is better for raising a child, for obvious reasons.

What obvious reasons? They're not obvious to me.

Of course there is circumstances. If the child does not have ANY parents, sure, a homosexual couple willing to take them in would be great. If a kid had alcoholic parents, sure, a homosexual couple might be the best for them. I think biological parents play more in things than people think.

We're talking about adoption here--that is, we're talking about kids who don't have parents or don't have parents who can take care of them. I am suggesting that it is better for the children to allow gay and lesbian couples to adopt them.

There is a balance to life. You can't have black without white, you can't have the good without the bad. You can't have an up without a down, and you can't have masculine without feminine, therefore having both a masculine and feminine influence is a must to ensure the mental health of a child. I'm not saying it's not possible, but it's not the best for a child

do you have any research to support your assertion that children with a mom and a dad are in any way mentally healthier than children with two moms or two dads?

 

[Autodidact]

Really, the question should be; What happens if a child of same-sex parents grows up heterosexual but imbued with a dissociative complex regarding the opposite sex due to the parents negative attitude towards their opposite sex? For example, the daughter of a Lesbian couple who wants to engage men sexually, but is emotional stunted in relation to males due to her parents lifetime of treating the opposite sex like the untouchable "other". Where is her sex life and prospect of happiness in relationships going to wind up? Likewise, the son of a male homosexual couple who is sexually attracted to girls. What's his template? A boy without a mother is going to make a very f**ked up man, and a girl without male idols is going to be disadvantaged in attempting to forge lasting and emotionally fulfilling relationships with men. IMO, only...

What on earth makes you think that gay people have a negative attitude toward their opposite sex? Or that lesbians treat the opposite sex as untouchable "others?" On what are you basing this bizarre notion?

Have you read any research about boys raised by gay male couples? Are they any more ****ed up than boys raised by straight couples? Or that girls raised by lesbian couples have less successful heterosexual relationships?

 

[rheff78]

Is the assertion here that gay adoption is BETTER for children or just the same as hetero adoption?

 

[Autodidact]

So yes, depending on the scenario, I agree with gay and lesbian adoption. I don't agree with artificial insemination to lesbian couples though.

Why not? (Tread lightly, here, k, remember I said I have 3 children; only one of them is adopted. I gave birth to the oldest, now 19 years old and outstanding human being.)

 

[Autodidact]

Is the assertion here that gay adoption is BETTER for children or just the same as hetero adoption?

No, not better than adoption by a heterosexual family. My assertion is that it is better for children to allow gay and lesbian couples to be eligible to adopt them, the same as heterosexual couples.

 

[sandy whitelinger]

I think I understand you. You want children to have parents who model a stable, loving, long-term relationship.

Not quite right. I would that they have parents who model interaction between the predominatly existing model which is male/female.

That said, we don't live in a cookie cutter world anymore (sigh!) where roles and definitions were clear cut. I think society suffers because of this, not because society should not change but that we have changed it too quicky and lost a stableizing influence that tradition brings.

I think that God, in His wisdom, recognized the need for formality and the continuance that tradition brings and this is why He codified communal living.

 

[Autodidact]

Not quite right. I would that they have parents who model interaction between the predominatly existing model which is male/female.

But why is that preferred? Why is that a better role model?