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What Do You Look For in a Mate?

What are MUST HAVE traits?


  • Total voters
    24
  • Poll closed .

Cynic

Well-Known Member
Think about it for one millisecond. Have you ever known anyone who wants to marry somebody stupid and on purpose?
Surveys by Anthropologist Helen Fischer have shown that the average male actually favors below average intelligence in women (probably because its a sign of youthfulness), while the average female favors above average intelligence in men (perhaps it is a sign of older age).
 

Buttercup

Veteran Member
Surveys by Anthropologist Helen Fischer have shown that the average male actually favors below average intelligence in women (probably because its a sign of youthfulness).
Good thing my husband has higher than average intelligence. ;)
 

Buttercup

Veteran Member
(probably because its a sign of youthfulness), while the average female favors above average intelligence in men (perhaps it is a sign of older age).
I'm not so sure about that but, perhaps. My thought is that some men's egos might not be able to handle a woman who is more intelligent than they are. As far as what women prefer...to me it has nothing to do with age. I've neverbeen attracted to older men....just smart ones.
 

Cynic

Well-Known Member
I'm not so sure about that but, perhaps. My thought is that some men's egos might not be able to handle a woman who is more intelligent than they are. As far as what women prefer...to me it has nothing to do with age. I've never liked older men....just smart ones.
I'm thinking from the perspective of evolutionary psychology. Most of the physical indicators men look for (full lips, wide hips, big breasts, etc) correlate to youthfulness, high estrogen, and fertility. I was thinking that below average intelligence might also be an indicator of youthfulness.

I have liked women who weren't the most intelligent, (not dumb), just naive and innocent in a certain way (in that they have potential). I think its cute.
On the other hand I find myself very attracted to women who exhibit a lot of intelligence.
 

Buttercup

Veteran Member
I'm thinking from the perspective of evolutionary psychology. Most of the physical indicators men look for (full lips, wide hips, big breasts, etc) correlate to youthfulness, high estrogen, and fertility.
I'm aware of that standard. However, I think for nearly every physical preference that claims dominance, you can find just as many who prefer the opposite. It's my thought that new extensive studies need to be done. Tastes change. During the Victorian era the desired shape for women would be considered overweight now.

I have liked women who weren't the most intelligent, (not dumb), just naive and innocent in a certain way (in that they have potential). I think its cute. It has nothing to do with my ego, personally.
Yeah, but naive and innocent does not equate with dumb as you say. Just from the small survey here you can tell most men prefer women smart. It's beneficial to anyone's ego to have a smart spouse. I would be highly embarrassed if my husband was dumb, and he'd feel the same about me.
 

Cynic

Well-Known Member
I'm aware of that standard. However, I think for nearly every physical preference that claims dominance, you can find just as many who prefer the opposite. It's my thought that new extensive studies need to be done. Tastes change. During the Victorian era the desired shape for women would be considered overweight now.
I think evolutionary psychology seeks universal standards. Although I'd agree that it's not black and white.

Yeah, but naive and innocent does not equate with dumb as you say. Just from the small survey here you can tell most men prefer women smart. It's beneficial to anyone's ego to have a smart spouse. I would be highly embarrassed if my husband was dumb, and he'd feel the same about me.
Well, it's my personal preference. Either way, she must be intelligent or have the capacity in the least.
 

Hope

Princesinha
no it doesn't, being single completely sucks compared to being in a relationship.

But there's so much freedom in singleness! While I definitely want to get married someday, when I think of all the freedom I'll have to sacrifice, it makes me a bit sad. I'm not sure which I want more: my freedom, or love.

Of course, this is coming from someone who's only been in one serious relationship, and it was with a guy who completely suffocated me. Kind of left a bad taste in my mouth. :eek:
 

Mike182

Flaming Queer
I beg to disagree. I've been married and I've been single -- and I strongly prefer single.

i've been single for ninteen years, and if i add up all the time i've been in relationships, it comes to about a year. i certainly prefer to not be single.

But there's so much freedom in singleness! While I definitely want to get married someday, when I think of all the freedom I'll have to sacrifice, it makes me a bit sad. I'm not sure which I want more: my freedom, or love.

Of course, this is coming from someone who's only been in one serious relationship, and it was with a guy who completely suffocated me. Kind of left a bad taste in my mouth. :eek:

i don't think relationships necessarily forfeit your freedoms, other than sleeping around - which i wouldn't do anyway. so long as you communicate with your partner, and they respond in kind, you can easily negotiate the time you want for yourself and the other things you want to do without sacrificing on either account.

though i do understand, being suffocated in a past relationship would certainly leave a bad taste.
 

MdmSzdWhtGuy

Well-Known Member
Surveys by Anthropologist Helen Fischer have shown that the average male actually favors below average intelligence in women (probably because its a sign of youthfulness), while the average female favors above average intelligence in men (perhaps it is a sign of older age).

Or maybe they (the men) are hoping a dumber chick would be less likely to be argumentative and such?

B.
 

Yes Man

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
Well I originally said intelligence (personally I would like someone smarter than me) , good looks (as I am shallow :D), and independence (he or she needs to have some ambition). But after reading some of the posts, a sense of humor does seem like something I would like in a mate.
 

MdmSzdWhtGuy

Well-Known Member
Well I originally said intelligence (personally I would like someone smarter than me) , good looks (as I am shallow :D), and independence (he or she needs to have some ambition). But after reading some of the posts, a sense of humor does seem like something I would like in a mate.

If you knew what I looked like vs. what Mrs. MdmSzdWhtGuy looked like, you would realize that, for her, a sense of humor is imperative.

B.
 

MdmSzdWhtGuy

Well-Known Member
I don't think intelligence has much to do with an argumentative nature. ;)

Seems to me that the more dull a person, in general, the more likely they are to just go along with the program, while the more intelligent they are, the more they tend to question things.

Now I am certain that there are some genius's out there who just go along to get along, and there are no doubt some dolt's out there who argue every point, but, in my own experience, these would be the exceptions, and not the norm.

However, that being said, I can say that every woman I am in a relationship with for more than about a day and a half ends up being argumentative, and I am certain that they would all say the same about me, so it is very likely that being argumentative is just a universal trait, and you could be entirely correct. But I like my chances of winning said argument when up against a less intelligent opponent, just like I would like my odds of winning a wrestling match when I am stronger and bigger than my opponent.

B.
 

Buttercup

Veteran Member
Seems to me that the more dull a person, in general, the more likely they are to just go along with the program, while the more intelligent they are, the more they tend to question things.
I am by no means an expert on human psychology but, often a person is argumentative for control and/or insecurity issues which has little to do with intelligence.

Now I am certain that there are some genius's out there who just go along to get along, and there are no doubt some dolt's out there who argue every point, but, in my own experience, these would be the exceptions, and not the norm.
My son Brandon is a certified genius and is probably the most easy going of my kids even though he's the smartest. He also has a minimally curious nature....another trait that is often found amongst highly intelligent people.

However, that being said, I can say that every woman I am in a relationship with for more than about a day and a half ends up being argumentative, and I am certain that they would all say the same about me, so it is very likely that being argumentative is just a universal trait, and you could be entirely correct. But I like my chances of winning said argument when up against a less intelligent opponent, just like I would like my odds of winning a wrestling match when I am stronger and bigger than my opponent.
Of course. And a good reason you are an attorney. ;) You're well suited for that profession.
 
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