Top Ten Signs Hillary Just Got Elected as President

[Wirey]

This is just for fun, so go to Hell with your negativity, you liberal slime bags!


10. Every 28 days, the world is gripped in fierce negotiations.

9. The navy announces they can’t find the money for their new ship, the U.S.S. Whitewater

8. Hairstyles created after 1987 are outlawed.

7. All media outlets are banned from printing the word “Benghazi”.

6. Sarah Palin has a drunken press conference where she states “Really? Are you f%^$ing kidding me?”

5. The South secedes again, but this time they mean it.

4. Gmail stock skyrockets.

3. Presidential fiat issued stating that donating money to the Republicans may no longer be referred to as “Getting Lewinskied”.

2. US Government issues $50,000,000 ad campaign explaining that the Secretary of State isn’t really a secretarial job.

And the number one sign Hillary just got elected President is:

1. Bill Clinton has his last name legally changed to ‘Carter’ without his permission.

 

[sun rise]

You of course really meant to write This is just for fun, so go to Hell with your negativity, you conservative slime bags! Liberals have a wonderful sense of humor. After all, we've been laughing at Tea Party types for quite some years.

And I write this as a card carrying supporter of the New World Order now being born

 

[Revoltingest]

2016.....no matter which party wins, there's a good chance of having a Bush in the White House.

 

[fantome profane]

2016.....no matter which party wins, there's a good chance of having a Bush in the White House.

Apparently you know Hillary better than most people do.

 

[BSM1]

2016.....no matter which party wins, there's a good chance of having a Bush in the White House.

That's just not right.

 

[Revoltingest]

Apparently you know Hillary better than most people do.

Or is it that I know Jeb better than most?


Ew.

 

[fantome profane]

Or is it that I know Jeb better than most?


Ew.

I happen to know for a fact that Jeb has a brazilian (just like his father and brother).

 

[Twilight Hue]

Gaddafi's all female entrauge replaces the presidential secret service.

One cellphone replaces the oval office hotline
.
No more cleavage shows

Imus starts wearing a nappy.

 

[Kuzcotopia]

That's just not right.

Exactly. There are many popular styles these days, even with the older set.

 

[jeager106]

Hillary can not be beaten by anyone. She's the teflon coated psychopathic liar.
Being a psychopathic liar means nothing to the voting public.
Hillary will get ALL gay votes.
All people of color votes.
All illegal aliens will be given the right to vote and she will get ALL those.
The 10's of millions that make a multigenerational living of welfare, foodstamps, free housing, etc. will vote for her.
She will get ALL the female votes.
She will get ALL liberal votes.
She wins by a landslide.
The Whitehouse will be moved to Cuba.
The major religion of the U.S. by 2020 will be Whabbi Muslim.
Christianity will be banned.
A new tax of 500% will be imposed on all firearms and munitions.
Every law abiding citizen that ever owned a legal firearm will be audited by the I.R.S.
Anyone who wishes to purchase a paintball gun will have to pass an F.B.I. backround check and endure a 6 month waiting period.
Hunting, trapping and fishing will require a psychological exam and a $10,000 buck license.
The U.N. will enforce the ban on any Christian church meeting with heavy weapons.
There will never be a "moment" of silent prayer at any public gathering.
School children will be encouraged to inform teachers if their parents still own a Christain Bible so the parents can be re-educated.
There will no longer be personally owned firearms. If one simply must target shoot then a weapon must be rented from the
Federal Government but ammunition will be unavailalbe. The reneter of a firearm can yell "bang, bang".
All current contact sports will be banned.
The department of Homeland Security will become a National Police force under direction and command of the U.N.
The U.S. will pay reparations to Japan for the cowardly use of the atomic bomb.
Any Black American that can show any link to a former slave will receive $1 million dollars in compenstaion.
Monica Lewinski will be made Ambassadore to Shangrala.

 

[Brickjectivity]

10. The Mt. of Olives splits in two as Jesus descends to do hand to hand combat with the anti-christ.

9. The RCC admits it was wrong about the Jesus thing, converts to True Christianity.

8. JW's announce Jesus will return in the year 2067.

7. Demoncrats openly worship Satan for the first time since Hoover.

6. Liberal comics are elevated to scriptural status.

5. The rich and the lowly hide together in caves with nothing to watch but a complete set of Brady Bunch reruns.

4. Hillary orders the genetic splicing of lambs and lions to imperfectly fulfil scriptures.

3. Jesus defeats anti-christ but again returns to heaven, saying he will come again someday.

2. Japan creates a human AI intelligence that only speaks Japanese with English subtitles.

1. Russian president holds press conference announcing "I told you I wasn't the anti-christ. Dammit nobody listens to me."

 

[jonathan180iq]

8. JW's announce Jesus will return in the year 2067.

 

[Revoltingest]

More signs Hillary is president......

Holy water bursts into flames.
Priests begin wearing peekaboo vestments.
No one is willing to become a White House intern.

 

[jonathan180iq]

I wonder if novelty enough will carry her to the Whitehouse. If it's not Jeb Bush running against her, there's really no hope for the Republican party.

 

[BSM1]

More signs:

You will hear Hillary's recorded and amplified laugh played on cruise ships to ward off pirates.
Formal pants suits will be the required attire for women at White House state functions.

 

[sun rise]

10. Republican heads explode.

9. Republicans turn on Ronald Reagan who they now know was really a Democrat all along

8. The remaining few moderate Republicans renounce their false beliefs and join the Democratic party

7. Thanks to the NRA, armed mobs take over state houses and require that gerrymandering be ended on pain of death.

6. Democrats start deciding who the next female liberal President will be after Hillary's 8 years are over.

5. All of America's enemies tremble because Hillary is one tough ****. Thanks to all the Republican attacks, she has no compunction about blowing up anyone who disagrees with her.

4. Universal health care comes into effect with everyone having to pay the exact same percentage of their income and property for health care as the poorest do.

3. The image on the $20 bill becomes

2. Hillary Clinton decrees the end of birthright citizenship and revokes the citizenship of anyone who is in the NRA or a Tea Party.

1. People on the right start leaving the US for more congenial countries such as Russia and China. The majority applauds.

 

[Marisa]

In response to #1, Jimmy Carter legally changes his name to Smith.

 

[Revoltingest]

Another sign that Hillary is president......
All White House personnel & press shall have thick & juicy necks.

 

[BSM1]

The motto on dollar bills will be change from "E Pluribus Unum" to "What Difference Does It Make".