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pray for me.
- Thread starter Ardhanariswar
- Start date
Ardhanariswar
I'm back!
ya... im willing to try, but i dont think he is. i dont think he will even talk to me. oh well...
thanks druidus.
thanks druidus.
Gerani, how long have you been openly homosexual with your family?
Ardhanariswar
I'm back!
at the mere age of 13 i told them i was. because i was getting bad grades in religion (ironic) and i needed an excuse, so i said it. my mom thought i was lying, my dad told me not to *brand myself*
i listened, i thanked the heavens for giving me the chance to tell them early so they wont get a heart attack when i would have told them in my twenties. my brother was upstairs and obviously overheard.
he really didnt care. or at least show it. i mean, he obviously had to know, throughout my childhood i was very girlish.
my diary floats around the house, which is private, so my mother knows my obsessive crush on this kid.
i dont call myself homosexual. im just attracted to guys. maybe it will change. who knows. im to young to figure that out. and ive got plenty of other things on my mind, like school, art, veena, friends, volunteering, work, etc.
my brother may think this gay thing is a choice, which is completly untrue.
but the main reason is that he thinks that i think im better than him. condesending. but i really dont think that. i think hes a selfish, short sighted prick at times. but on other occasions, hes a nice older bro. but during that AIM convo, he seemed to have forgotten it all.
i listened, i thanked the heavens for giving me the chance to tell them early so they wont get a heart attack when i would have told them in my twenties. my brother was upstairs and obviously overheard.
he really didnt care. or at least show it. i mean, he obviously had to know, throughout my childhood i was very girlish.
my diary floats around the house, which is private, so my mother knows my obsessive crush on this kid.
i dont call myself homosexual. im just attracted to guys. maybe it will change. who knows. im to young to figure that out. and ive got plenty of other things on my mind, like school, art, veena, friends, volunteering, work, etc.
my brother may think this gay thing is a choice, which is completly untrue.
but the main reason is that he thinks that i think im better than him. condesending. but i really dont think that. i think hes a selfish, short sighted prick at times. but on other occasions, hes a nice older bro. but during that AIM convo, he seemed to have forgotten it all.
Ok with that out of the way.
I think he wants a little distance at this time.
Also, when/if you talk to him next keep it light, try not to go into deep convos. From what I read, he does care for you, he just feels your wanting to hold on to him is constricting, at this moment he has gone far to an extreme, give him a bit of time, months, years, whatever he will eventually come to a moderation.
Also I noticed a tension there, that came out every once in a while through remarks which you should avoid. Things like "you don't know god" need to be avoided. Even if he says stuff you might not like, try not to get (de,of)fensive.
Basically, keep cool and calm, and keep the convo light. Let your brother work his emotions/how he feels/how he wants to incorporate his family into his life out. Eventually it will come down to whether or not he wants a relationship, trying to force him will only widen the gap and may make him give up all together.
I think he wants a little distance at this time.
Also, when/if you talk to him next keep it light, try not to go into deep convos. From what I read, he does care for you, he just feels your wanting to hold on to him is constricting, at this moment he has gone far to an extreme, give him a bit of time, months, years, whatever he will eventually come to a moderation.
Also I noticed a tension there, that came out every once in a while through remarks which you should avoid. Things like "you don't know god" need to be avoided. Even if he says stuff you might not like, try not to get (de,of)fensive.
Basically, keep cool and calm, and keep the convo light. Let your brother work his emotions/how he feels/how he wants to incorporate his family into his life out. Eventually it will come down to whether or not he wants a relationship, trying to force him will only widen the gap and may make him give up all together.
Ardhanariswar
I'm back!
thx mista emu. i hope it works. thats if he will talk to me. he blocked me, and im very certain he will be deleating any e-mails i sent him.
No problem, I very sincerely hope it helps, I will be praying for both of you.
If he is deleting the emails you send him, put your messages in the subject
If he is deleting the emails you send him, put your messages in the subject