I'm Still Alive (Wish Me Luck, Please)

[Debater Slayer]

I will need it. I'm planning to go off all meds I'm currently on, because I have felt no substantial improvement on them. Furthermore, the longer I stay on them, the more prone I will be to their more severe side effects. I'm on three meds, so it is not going to be easy. It's also not going to be easy to find a therapist who will listen to me and grant my request to stop the meds. My current therapist refused to get me off the third med. I'm expecting that it will be even harder to find one who will agree to take me off all three meds.

So, wish me luck. I have little doubt that I will go through a turbulently suicidal period during withdrawal (if I manage to find a therapist who will agree to withdraw me). I'm already at risk of suicide, and the withdrawal process may amplify that risk.

For now, I'm still here, and I will enjoy life as much as I can. I've survived a few years of intense suicidal thoughts, the first two of which I went through alone without support from anyone except online friends. I believe I have what it takes to get through this, at least so far. I'm still alive.

 

[Tumah]

Why are you doing this if you're still at risk? Being overweight is a lot better than being stone cold.

 

[Godobeyer]

I will need it. I'm planning to go off all meds I'm currently on, because I have felt no substantial improvement on them. Furthermore, the longer I stay on them, the more prone I will be to their more severe side effects. I'm on three meds, so it is not going to be easy. It's also not going to be easy to find a therapist who will listen to me and grant my request to stop the meds. My current therapist refused to get me off the third med. I'm expecting that it will be even harder to find one who will agree to take me off all three meds.

So, wish me luck. I have little doubt that I will go through a turbulently suicidal period during withdrawal (if I manage to find a therapist who will agree to withdraw me). I'm already at risk of suicide, and the withdrawal process may amplify that risk.

For now, I'm still here, and I will enjoy life as much as I can. I've survived a few years of intense suicidal thoughts, the first two of which I went through alone without support from anyone except online friends. I believe I have what it takes to get through this, at least so far. I'm still alive.

I wish you best , and i will pray for you

but your situation remind me about the verse of Quran 20:124

 

[1137]

Be safe!

 

[Debater Slayer]

Why are you doing this if you're still at risk? Being overweight is a lot better than being stone cold.

Because, as I mentioned, meds are not working out. The only thing they are adding is the risk of side effects.

 

[Debater Slayer]

I wish you best , and i will pray for you

Thanks.

but your situation remind me about the verse of Quran 20:124

Nah. I have been at much more peace with myself since I finally left Islam after a harsh period of doubt. Besides, there are many non-Muslims who are happier than many Muslims. I don't think much about Qur'an 20:124.

 

[Brickjectivity]

Good luck whichever thing you do.

 

[Tumah]

Because, as I mentioned, meds are not working out. The only thing they are adding is the risk of side effects.

Why don't you come here and hang out with Noha Hashad!

 

[Godobeyer]

Thanks.

you welcome

Nah. I have been at much more peace with myself since I finally left Islam after a harsh period of doubt. Besides, there are many non-Muslims who are happier than many Muslims. I don't think much about Qur'an 20:124.

maybe you know that
I believe that verse is talking about people whom left the faith as it said , so it's your case, but you don't feel .

 

[Debater Slayer]

Why don't you come here and hang out with Noha Hashad!

Thanks for the offer, but going to live where you are would most likely have very detrimental effects on my relationship with my family. That and I want to get as far from the Middle East as possible until I have had some peace of mind elsewhere.

 

[illykitty]

I hope everything goes well for you DS. I know how hard it is to take medication for mental illnesses and coming off them. I too had difficulties with them, but coming off sometimes also have side-effects, so be careful. I had "brain zaps" when I got off my SSRI meds. I don't entirely know your situation so I'll refrain from telling you what to do.

In any case, I think you're a valuable member on this forum and I enjoy talking to you. I hope you remember that in your dark times.

 

[gsa]

Thanks for the offer, but going to live where you are would most likely have very detrimental effects on my relationship with my family. That and I want to get as far from the Middle East as possible until I have had some peace of mind elsewhere.

I hope you make it out of there. The sooner the better.

 

[Oeste]

I will need it. I'm planning to go off all meds I'm currently on, because I have felt no substantial improvement on them. Furthermore, the longer I stay on them, the more prone I will be to their more severe side effects. I'm on three meds, so it is not going to be easy. It's also not going to be easy to find a therapist who will listen to me and grant my request to stop the meds. My current therapist refused to get me off the third med. I'm expecting that it will be even harder to find one who will agree to take me off all three meds.

So, wish me luck. I have little doubt that I will go through a turbulently suicidal period during withdrawal (if I manage to find a therapist who will agree to withdraw me). I'm already at risk of suicide, and the withdrawal process may amplify that risk.

For now, I'm still here, and I will enjoy life as much as I can. I've survived a few years of intense suicidal thoughts, the first two of which I went through alone without support from anyone except online friends. I believe I have what it takes to get through this, at least so far. I'm still alive.

I just spoke with my daughter who is a nurse practitioner and she says this is a horrible idea and I would have to agree.

Tumah makes a good comment in post #2. Being overweight (I suppose whatever you're taking may have steroids, or something else that retains water or makes you gain weight) is a lot better than being stone cold in a morgue.

Please ask your physician about alternative medications that may not have the undesired side affects. If this is not possible, then you should be in a program that will help offset the side effects. For instance, a structured exercise program or weight watchers if the medication gains you weight.

What you should not be doing is playing Russian roulette with yourself and denying us your presence here.

 

[Laika]

DS, you may not like the idea but keep your meds around just in case. you may feel withdrawal symptoms (its possible they can be addictive so it may be advisable to slowly reduce the dosage over a period of time so you can adjust and soften any effects). At a guess drink lots of water and hopefully you can flush your system out. I'm neither a doctor nor a therapist so I don't know. But if its what you want, do it.

I hope you take back control of your life. I absolutely wish you the Best of luck. You are very brave DS.

stay in touch. we are here for you if you need to talk.

 

[Geoff-Allen]

I will need it. I'm planning to go off all meds I'm currently on, because I have felt no substantial improvement on them. Furthermore, the longer I stay on them, the more prone I will be to their more severe side effects. I'm on three meds, so it is not going to be easy. It's also not going to be easy to find a therapist who will listen to me and grant my request to stop the meds. My current therapist refused to get me off the third med. I'm expecting that it will be even harder to find one who will agree to take me off all three meds.

So, wish me luck. I have little doubt that I will go through a turbulently suicidal period during withdrawal (if I manage to find a therapist who will agree to withdraw me). I'm already at risk of suicide, and the withdrawal process may amplify that risk.

For now, I'm still here, and I will enjoy life as much as I can. I've survived a few years of intense suicidal thoughts, the first two of which I went through alone without support from anyone except online friends. I believe I have what it takes to get through this, at least so far. I'm still alive.

You have my best wishes!

Not sure if you are interested but found some great sites onn dealing with depression/suicidal thoughts - to help my Mum ...

Email me if you want the links -

[email protected]

Here's a taste -

http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/best-depression-resources-depression-websites-2012-0118137

All the best!

 

[Laika]

@Debater Slayer Abruptly stopping the medications will have side effects. This is not a question of "will-power" but is about the chemical changes in your brain. So reducing the doseage over a sustained period of time would be safer. it allows your body to adjust to the chemical changes. These aren't things you will have "control" over, so IF you need to re-start your medication, it is nothing to be ashamed of.

This is from the Royal College of Psychartrists and it looks like some sensible guidelines. Based on a survey, they say that withdrawl symptoms depend on the medication you are taking. they specify the name of the medications so you can check to see which one produces the most withdrawl effects.

http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/healthadvi...antidepressants/comingoffantidepressants.aspx

I'm half way on the other side of the world, so I can't do anything to stop you at this point. I will keep my fingers crossed you're ok.

 

[Senseless]

I'm sorry to hear of it. Fingers crossed!

 

[Madhuri]

Good luck DS. Hopefully the withdrawal isn't too difficult.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

PM'ed but be safe, for the record.

 

[Mindmaster]

Because, as I mentioned, meds are not working out. The only thing they are adding is the risk of side effects.

These drugs play hell on your organs in general, but I just wanted to encourage you to continue your plan. I suffered from extreme bipolar swings in my youth mostly due to my hormones changing as I grew up. As I neared 25 I was able to understand when they were occurring and I could manage them, or actively combat them -- I stopped taking the drugs because although they took away the swings they were also causing sexual dysfunction and making me apathetic as well. As much as it shouldn't be a big deal, the sexual side-effects screw with all of your relationships and/or your marriage. For me, the drugs also made me non-reactive in crisis situations where I really should have been more invested. This tended to make my wife and other people think that I didn't care.

Just letting you know man there is light on the other side of that door and if you can trust yourself to put these destructive energies into useful things you will find that it's not so bad. It was remarkably easier past 21 to do the quitting, but as a teenager I wouldn't even try... I was so emotionally bouncy I couldn't even stand myself. The drugs were the only keel I had really..