if your girlfriend/wife contacts her ex-boyfriends, and inverse

[Godobeyer]

Hi all

I discuss this subject with RF member in other thread , she told me that she is on contact with her ex-boyfriends , and her husband knows that .

so do you agree that your girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife stay on contact with her/his EX ?

I mean she/he get in privet together or visit each other in privet....etc

 

[Nietzsche]

Parting on amicable terms is an excellent thing. One would also hope the current boyfriend/husband trusts their girlfriend/wife.

 

[Thana]

Hi all

I discuss this subject with RF member in other thread , she told me that she is on contact with her ex-boyfriends , and her husband knows that .

so do you agree that your girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife stay on contact with her/his EX ?

I mean she/he get in privet together or visit each other in privet....etc

You either trust your partner or you don't.
And if you don't then what the heck are you doing with them?

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

Hi all

I discuss this subject with RF member in other thread , she told me that she is on contact with her ex-boyfriends , and her husband knows that .

so do you agree that your girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife stay on contact with her/his EX ?

I mean she/he get in privet together or visit each other in privet....etc

Sure. I don't have that many exes, but there's one I'll see socially every now and then. She's invited to our wedding.

 

[Jayhawker Soule]

You either trust your partner or you don't.
And if you don't then what the heck are you doing with them?

^ Pretty much this.

 

[leibowde84]

Hi all

I discuss this subject with RF member in other thread , she told me that she is on contact with her ex-boyfriends , and her husband knows that .

so do you agree that your girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife stay on contact with her/his EX ?

I mean she/he get in privet together or visit each other in privet....etc

If you express your problem with it and ask her to stop, and she doesnt, dump her. It It's a direct sign of disrespect/dislike. Not a good sign.

 

[Koldo]

Hi all

I discuss this subject with RF member in other thread , she told me that she is on contact with her ex-boyfriends , and her husband knows that .

so do you agree that your girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife stay on contact with her/his EX ?

I mean she/he get in privet together or visit each other in privet....etc

Depends. It is complicated.
As a general rule, if my wife/girlfriend frequently goes out of her way to meet her ex in private I think it might be better that we part ways.

 

[Willamena]

Hi all

I discuss this subject with RF member in other thread , she told me that she is on contact with her ex-boyfriends , and her husband knows that .

so do you agree that your girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife stay on contact with her/his EX ?

I mean she/he get in privet together or visit each other in privet....etc

I wouldn't consider owning a person to the extent that they have to do what I want over what they want.

 

[Nakosis]

Hi all

I discuss this subject with RF member in other thread , she told me that she is on contact with her ex-boyfriends , and her husband knows that .

so do you agree that your girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife stay on contact with her/his EX ?

I mean she/he get in privet together or visit each other in privet....etc

Staying in contact is not really a problem. If they feel the need to meet in private, I doubt that's going to turn out well.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

Staying in contact is fine. My wife's ex-boyfriend was actually a friend of mine (we're going back about 20 years here).
I doubt I'd be happy if they were regularly meeting in private, but there are plenty of girls I meet for lunches, etc (I was in a uni course that was 90% women) and I expect my wife to trust me...never given her a reason not to...so why shouldn't the same apply in reverse?

 

[Riverwolf]

It'd be fine with me, and my partner used to hang out with one of her ex-boyfriends, just the two of them, all the time before he moved further away. They're still good friends.

Just because she's my partner doesn't mean she can't hang out with other people however she sees fit.

 

[Marisa]

I think a distinction needs to be made regarding the difference between meeting in private meaning a hotel room or the boyfriend's place, and meeting privately at a crowded restaurant or local bar for drinks. One is decidedly clandestine, the other not so much.

 

[RedDragon94]

Hi all

I discuss this subject with RF member in other thread , she told me that she is on contact with her ex-boyfriends , and her husband knows that .

so do you agree that your girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife stay on contact with her/his EX ?

I mean she/he get in privet together or visit each other in privet....etc

As long as it's not like they're dating each other I think it's fine to be friends. Is it like they're dating each other behind her husband's back?

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Given I'm still friends with my ex, I would expect any future significant others of mine to have no problems with me meeting up with her.
Likewise, I would have no problems with any future significant others of mine meeting up with their exes.

 

[columbus]

so do you agree that your girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife stay on contact with her/his EX ?

You probably don't want to hear about Doug and me sharing back when we first got together. Eventually we just stopped because we got tired of them. So, I really wouldn't care.

But I will tell you a more relevant true story.
My high school sweetheart Judy and I were together for some time. We even got pregnant, although we lost the baby. We eventually split up, but stayed friends. We met other people and such. She eventually married a guy named Duke. Doug and I went to their wedding and had lots of fun. Duke is a good guy and knows all about Judy and my past.
Well, they have a vacation place way out in the country. One weekend the four of us were going to meet out there for a couple of days. But something happened at Duke's work, so he couldn't come down until the next day. So Judy, Doug and I went anyway. Doug and I brought our new puppy. We partied a lot, drank a little too much, and all fell asleep on Judy and Dukes big bed.
Next morning we were woken up by the phone. Duke was calling to say he was on the way and did Judy want him to bring anything. He asked how things were going. Judy laughed and said, "Great! I'm in bed with my old boyfriend, his new boyfriend, and the dog! We're just waiting for you."
Even redneck Duke thought it was funny.

Either you trust them or you don't.
Tom

 

[LuisDantas]

@Godobeyer : I want to point out that there is an element of social environment and expectations at work here.

There are many signs or potential signs of meaningful interaction that may occur in everyday life. From what I hear, quite a few have no set meaning but instead need some social context to acquire one.

For instance, Germans seem to not particularly mind being seen naked by other people. While I am lacking in direct experience, I assume that there is not too much of a sexual component in there, either.

http://cherylhoward.com/2015/06/08/do-germans-swim-naked/

Likewise, I have heard that such gestures as holding hands or kissing mouth-to-mouth can be seen as anything from a moment's kindness to a promise of a serious relationship, depending on one's cultural references.


People no more need to be unfaithful just because they have the privacy that would make an attempt possible than they will be faithful, loving and respectful just because they are rarely out of each other's view.

 

[Kirran]

Honesty is key here.

If you aren't comfortable with your wife/girlfriend going off to meet an ex, explain to her that you don't trust her not to cheat on you first chance she gets, because you're insecure. She can then consider, and may decide to not meet with them alone to spare your feelings, or may decide to continue to meet with them because it's a valuable relationship and it wouldn't be fair on her ex to break up the friendship. In the latter case, she would hopefully find ways to put your mind at ease over the nature of the relationship.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

For instance, Germans seem to not particularly mind being seen naked by other people. While I am lacking in direct experience, I assume that there is not too much of a sexual component in there, either.

I've not been there myself, but I've known enough people who have been and enough Germans to know that sexual component isn't inherently there. You go to Germany and you will see lots of naked people.

 

[Godobeyer]

Next morning we were woken up by the phone. Duke was calling to say he was on the way and did Judy want him to bring anything. He asked how things were going. Judy laughed and said, "Great! I'm in bed with my old boyfriend, his new boyfriend, and the dog! We're just waiting for you."
Tom

thanks for share this stange story

honestly , you just sleep with , you never ever touch her ?

I don't know if most of Western accept like this ? but if was me , i will divorce her at that moment .

Over trust is not chandler /excuse to let me accept this kind of acts .

 

[LuisDantas]

I don't know if most of Western accept like this ?

No, not most.

I do however feel slightly envious of that peace of mind.