A message from a rape survivor - yes, I've been triggered here. I'm still here.

[MysticSang'ha]

In ten+ years on RF, I've noticed that there's groups of people that tend to get **** on more than others, and they move in cycles. I've seen same sex marriage, Muslim women, LDS Christians, and feminists get a fair share of hostility from members. Typically, I have little respect for the perspectives of those who target these groups, but respect the ability to share hostile criticism that stays within bounds.

But that brings me to a very personal and important point, and one that gives a window into how low some people will go in their attempts at sarcasm (which I appreciate when done well in regards to the art of comedy).

Joking about being triggered, knowing there are survivors like me who DO deal with various triggers in real life and dealing with various rape apologetics online, is as low as joking about triggers at the local VFW or people who survived a catastrophe like the 2011 Joplin tornado during severe weather.

I also experienced Ferguson, was tear gassed, had an assault rifle pointed at me, and lost a friend to gunfire as well as many friends who were threatened/assaulted after marching and yelling.

I work with several various professionals with PTSD regarding these events. Now, I have stroke survivor to add with wondering if body sensations are real symptoms or if they are the result of anxiety.

Understand, that as little respect I personally have for you when I read the sarcasm, and equating my PTSD to feeling offended, you remain free to act like an *** and a fool.

I've been triggered reading a few posts here. In ten+ years, it's come to a handful of times where I found myself in a state of dark panic. Not frequent, but certainly enough to note that it happens and does when I least expect it. I cope. It's what I do. I have over the years learned valuable coping techniques for those moments.

But that doesn't negate how I see the level of contempt and hostility shown toward survivors who bring up triggers as something to simply be considered. It's low. It's super ****ty. And I don't forget when no apology or reconciliation or even the most basic acknowledgement is offered.

Go ahead. Feel free to share your contempt and feeble attempts at good sarcasm. It's totally within bounds. But don't call me a friend if that's how you see the experiences of rape/assault survivors.

 

[Mindmaster]

Not detract from your post in any way, as I find rape completely disgusting, I have no doubt the problem is with the millennials calling nearly everything rape. Let's face it, to some degree, feminism has become fascism. (Me and you are disqualified via age group... whew) That is largely responsible for the responses you are receiving in this regard, and while unfortunate it is expected. People are repeatedly crying wolf where there is no wolf. You really have no way to tell if someone is being honest with you, and there are a lot of people calling "I got drunk and screwed someone I don't like all too much" rape. The online culture just has zero tolerance for the claim anymore due to the abusers. Don't take it for a lack of sympathy for real cases! However, when talking about rape in the US we should mention the largest receiver of rapes in the USA is men and I find it even more astonishing that no one mentions it. It's not even close, men are raped nearly 2-to-1 vs women. We do nothing about it, and we do not offer those men nearly any treatment. Women get helped when they get raped, men usually get ignored or kill themselves.

Sharia law is cruel to people, so I won't ever tolerate or understand Islam and the changes it needs for me to do so probably won't happen in my lifetime. I can't support Sharia/Islam just because I can't support cultures that treat women like dogs. I find tolerance for Islam and true feminism (not whatever these crazies painting themselves red are doing) are completely incompatible. No one puts down women more than Islam in current times, and that's pretty much my take. When women in these countries can't vote, have to wear dark tents of clothing so they would die in a desert if they tried to escape their abusive husband, etc... I really cannot get behind any of this. This hurts members feelings, and generally, I don't give a ****. Wrong is wrong, and it's clear this is wrong on every level of logical understanding. I don't have to change -- they do.

As far as you, I know you have been an activist in the past but you are to the point now where it is terribly affecting your health. Consider a retirement from the quest and let the younger whipper snappers pick up where you left off. You've done your time, now take care of yourself. You have people in your life that probably will want you around for a good long time, and stress and age are a volatile combination.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Not detract from your post in any way, as I find rape completely disgusting, I have no doubt the problem is with the millennials calling nearly everything rape. Let's face it, to some degree, feminism has become fascism. (Me and you are disqualified via age group... whew) That is largely responsible for the responses you are receiving in this regard, and while unfortunate it is expected. People are repeatedly crying wolf where there is no wolf. You really have no way to tell if someone is being honest with you, and there are a lot of people calling "I got drunk and screwed someone I don't like all too much" rape. The online culture just has zero tolerance for the claim anymore due to the abusers. Don't take it for a lack of sympathy for real cases! However, when talking about rape in the US we should mention the largest receiver of rapes in the USA is men and I find it even more astonishing that no one mentions it. It's not even close, men are raped nearly 2-to-1 vs women. We do nothing about it, and we do not offer those men nearly any treatment. Women get helped when they get raped, men usually get ignored or kill themselves.

Sharia law is cruel to people, so I won't ever tolerate or understand Islam and the changes it needs for me to do so probably won't happen in my lifetime. I can't support Sharia/Islam just because I can't support cultures that treat women like dogs. I find tolerance for Islam and true feminism (not whatever these crazies painting themselves red are doing) are completely incompatible. No one puts down women more than Islam in current times, and that's pretty much my take. When women in these countries can't vote, have to wear dark tents of clothing so they would die in a desert if they tried to escape their abusive husband, etc... I really cannot get behind any of this. This hurts members feelings, and generally, I don't give a ****. Wrong is wrong, and it's clear this is wrong on every level of logical understanding. I don't have to change -- they do.

As far as you, I know you have been an activist in the past but you are to the point now where it is terribly affecting your health. Consider a retirement from the quest and let the younger whipper snappers pick up where you left off. You've done your time, now take care of yourself. You have people in your life that probably will want you around for a good long time, and stress and age are a volatile combination.

This is in Member Announcements, not the debate area. It's rude to try to hijack her thread with this.

 

[Aquitaine]

In ten+ years on RF, I've noticed that there's groups of people that tend to get **** on more than others, and they move in cycles. I've seen same sex marriage, Muslim women, LDS Christians, and feminists get a fair share of hostility from members. Typically, I have little respect for the perspectives of those who target these groups, but respect the ability to share hostile criticism that stays within bounds.

But that brings me to a very personal and important point, and one that gives a window into how low some people will go in their attempts at sarcasm (which I appreciate when done well in regards to the art of comedy).

Joking about being triggered, knowing there are survivors like me who DO deal with various triggers in real life and dealing with various rape apologetics online, is as low as joking about triggers at the local VFW or people who survived a catastrophe like the 2011 Joplin tornado during severe weather.

I also experienced Ferguson, was tear gassed, had an assault rifle pointed at me, and lost a friend to gunfire as well as many friends who were threatened/assaulted after marching and yelling.

I work with several various professionals with PTSD regarding these events. Now, I have stroke survivor to add with wondering if body sensations are real symptoms or if they are the result of anxiety.

Understand, that as little respect I personally have for you when I read the sarcasm, and equating my PTSD to feeling offended, you remain free to act like an *** and a fool.

I've been triggered reading a few posts here. In ten+ years, it's come to a handful of times where I found myself in a state of dark panic. Not frequent, but certainly enough to note that it happens and does when I least expect it. I cope. It's what I do. I have over the years learned valuable coping techniques for those moments.

But that doesn't negate how I see the level of contempt and hostility shown toward survivors who bring up triggers as something to simply be considered. It's low. It's super ****ty. And I don't forget when no apology or reconciliation or even the most basic acknowledgement is offered.

Go ahead. Feel free to share your contempt and feeble attempts at good sarcasm. It's totally within bounds. But don't call me a friend if that's how you see the experiences of rape/assault survivors.

I'm sorry to hear that you (and others with similar experiences) have been so hurtfully targeted by members of the site's community like this. People can feel big and tough when hiding anonymously behind a keyboard.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Not detract from your post in any way....

Then please don't.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

I'm sorry to hear that you (and others with similar experiences) have been so hurtfully targeted by members of the site's community like this. People can feel big and tough when hiding anonymously behind a keyboard.

Thank you. I don't know if those who have engage in it had people like me in mind, but nonetheless, forgetting I'm someone who experiences them is definitely part of the overall problem. I'm part of a community as much as anyone else. This isn't about my feelings being hurt. This is about coping strategies for trauma (very different).

 

[Sunstone]

Not detract from your post in any way, as I find rape completely disgusting, I have no doubt the problem is with the millennials calling nearly everything rape. Let's face it, to some degree, feminism has become fascism. (Me and you are disqualified via age group... whew) That is largely responsible for the responses you are receiving in this regard, and while unfortunate it is expected. People are repeatedly crying wolf where there is no wolf. You really have no way to tell if someone is being honest with you, and there are a lot of people calling "I got drunk and screwed someone I don't like all too much" rape. The online culture just has zero tolerance for the claim anymore due to the abusers. Don't take it for a lack of sympathy for real cases! However, when talking about rape in the US we should mention the largest receiver of rapes in the USA is men and I find it even more astonishing that no one mentions it. It's not even close, men are raped nearly 2-to-1 vs women. We do nothing about it, and we do not offer those men nearly any treatment. Women get helped when they get raped, men usually get ignored or kill themselves.

Sharia law is cruel to people, so I won't ever tolerate or understand Islam and the changes it needs for me to do so probably won't happen in my lifetime. I can't support Sharia/Islam just because I can't support cultures that treat women like dogs. I find tolerance for Islam and true feminism (not whatever these crazies painting themselves red are doing) are completely incompatible. No one puts down women more than Islam in current times, and that's pretty much my take. When women in these countries can't vote, have to wear dark tents of clothing so they would die in a desert if they tried to escape their abusive husband, etc... I really cannot get behind any of this. This hurts members feelings, and generally, I don't give a ****. Wrong is wrong, and it's clear this is wrong on every level of logical understanding. I don't have to change -- they do.

As far as you, I know you have been an activist in the past but you are to the point now where it is terribly affecting your health. Consider a retirement from the quest and let the younger whipper snappers pick up where you left off. You've done your time, now take care of yourself. You have people in your life that probably will want you around for a good long time, and stress and age are a volatile combination.

 

[psychoslice]

There is a lot of silly beliefs out there, that need to be reminded of how silly they are.

 

[Debater Slayer]

I have no doubt the problem is with the millennials calling nearly everything rape. Let's face it, to some degree, feminism has become fascism.

I didn't read past this.

Hijacking threads is a Rule 4 violation. This is a reminder in case you make more posts like this one (i.e., off-topic ones), which you hopefully won't.

 

[Debater Slayer]

In ten+ years on RF, I've noticed that there's groups of people that tend to get **** on more than others, and they move in cycles. I've seen same sex marriage, Muslim women, LDS Christians, and feminists get a fair share of hostility from members. Typically, I have little respect for the perspectives of those who target these groups, but respect the ability to share hostile criticism that stays within bounds.

But that brings me to a very personal and important point, and one that gives a window into how low some people will go in their attempts at sarcasm (which I appreciate when done well in regards to the art of comedy).

Joking about being triggered, knowing there are survivors like me who DO deal with various triggers in real life and dealing with various rape apologetics online, is as low as joking about triggers at the local VFW or people who survived a catastrophe like the 2011 Joplin tornado during severe weather.

I also experienced Ferguson, was tear gassed, had an assault rifle pointed at me, and lost a friend to gunfire as well as many friends who were threatened/assaulted after marching and yelling.

I work with several various professionals with PTSD regarding these events. Now, I have stroke survivor to add with wondering if body sensations are real symptoms or if they are the result of anxiety.

Understand, that as little respect I personally have for you when I read the sarcasm, and equating my PTSD to feeling offended, you remain free to act like an *** and a fool.

I've been triggered reading a few posts here. In ten+ years, it's come to a handful of times where I found myself in a state of dark panic. Not frequent, but certainly enough to note that it happens and does when I least expect it. I cope. It's what I do. I have over the years learned valuable coping techniques for those moments.

But that doesn't negate how I see the level of contempt and hostility shown toward survivors who bring up triggers as something to simply be considered. It's low. It's super ****ty. And I don't forget when no apology or reconciliation or even the most basic acknowledgement is offered.

Go ahead. Feel free to share your contempt and feeble attempts at good sarcasm. It's totally within bounds. But don't call me a friend if that's how you see the experiences of rape/assault survivors.

Beautifully written. Hang in there, Heather. I'm sorry to see that there are so many callous, thoughtless comments making things much more difficult for you and other people with similar experiences.

 

[Mindmaster]

I didn't read past this.

Hijacking threads is a Rule 4 violation. This is a reminder in case you make more posts like this one (i.e., off-topic ones), which you hopefully won't.

Yea, the last line probably was the most important as far establishing my sentiment but who needs that.

 

[Debater Slayer]

Yea, the last line probably was the most important as far establishing my sentiment but who needs that.

You can start a separate thread to discuss your thoughts on feminism, definitions of rape, male rape victims, etc., elsewhere on the forums. Just don't try to make an off-topic post about these issues in a Member Announcements thread.

I'll leave it at that so that the thread remains first and foremost about Mystic's experiences and concerns. We can talk about anything else elsewhere.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

In ten+ years on RF, I've noticed that there's groups of people that tend to get **** on more than others, and they move in cycles. I've seen same sex marriage, Muslim women, LDS Christians, and feminists get a fair share of hostility from members. Typically, I have little respect for the perspectives of those who target these groups, but respect the ability to share hostile criticism that stays within bounds.

But that brings me to a very personal and important point, and one that gives a window into how low some people will go in their attempts at sarcasm (which I appreciate when done well in regards to the art of comedy).

Joking about being triggered, knowing there are survivors like me who DO deal with various triggers in real life and dealing with various rape apologetics online, is as low as joking about triggers at the local VFW or people who survived a catastrophe like the 2011 Joplin tornado during severe weather.

I also experienced Ferguson, was tear gassed, had an assault rifle pointed at me, and lost a friend to gunfire as well as many friends who were threatened/assaulted after marching and yelling.

I work with several various professionals with PTSD regarding these events. Now, I have stroke survivor to add with wondering if body sensations are real symptoms or if they are the result of anxiety.

Understand, that as little respect I personally have for you when I read the sarcasm, and equating my PTSD to feeling offended, you remain free to act like an *** and a fool.

I've been triggered reading a few posts here. In ten+ years, it's come to a handful of times where I found myself in a state of dark panic. Not frequent, but certainly enough to note that it happens and does when I least expect it. I cope. It's what I do. I have over the years learned valuable coping techniques for those moments.

But that doesn't negate how I see the level of contempt and hostility shown toward survivors who bring up triggers as something to simply be considered. It's low. It's super ****ty. And I don't forget when no apology or reconciliation or even the most basic acknowledgement is offered.

Go ahead. Feel free to share your contempt and feeble attempts at good sarcasm. It's totally within bounds. But don't call me a friend if that's how you see the experiences of rape/assault survivors.

I wish I could say that people being cruel and calloused surprises me, but it just doesn't. It is disappointing though that even such a left-leaning forum with a decent and intelligent enough member base has a depressing amount of bad behavior apologists, and those who shrug off the struggles of minorities and victims as no big deal or issue at all. It's as if caring about your fellow human beings is just too much to ask for and it's only going to "wussify" society and make it worse off. And people tell me I need to just learn to accept things and make peace with how things are. As long as there are people saying "boys will be boys" when it comes to rape, and a list of other complaints, I don't see how making peace is possible. Two of my nieces have been raped, and nothing happened, one because people view her as a "****," and like to try and pretend it's her fault. This "get tough" nonsense sent one of my other nieces to the ER over an attempted suicide.

 

[Nietzsche]

In ten+ years on RF, I've noticed that there's groups of people that tend to get **** on more than others, and they move in cycles. I've seen same sex marriage, Muslim women, LDS Christians, and feminists get a fair share of hostility from members. Typically, I have little respect for the perspectives of those who target these groups, but respect the ability to share hostile criticism that stays within bounds.

But that brings me to a very personal and important point, and one that gives a window into how low some people will go in their attempts at sarcasm (which I appreciate when done well in regards to the art of comedy).

Joking about being triggered, knowing there are survivors like me who DO deal with various triggers in real life and dealing with various rape apologetics online, is as low as joking about triggers at the local VFW or people who survived a catastrophe like the 2011 Joplin tornado during severe weather.

I also experienced Ferguson, was tear gassed, had an assault rifle pointed at me, and lost a friend to gunfire as well as many friends who were threatened/assaulted after marching and yelling.

I work with several various professionals with PTSD regarding these events. Now, I have stroke survivor to add with wondering if body sensations are real symptoms or if they are the result of anxiety.

Understand, that as little respect I personally have for you when I read the sarcasm, and equating my PTSD to feeling offended, you remain free to act like an *** and a fool.

I've been triggered reading a few posts here. In ten+ years, it's come to a handful of times where I found myself in a state of dark panic. Not frequent, but certainly enough to note that it happens and does when I least expect it. I cope. It's what I do. I have over the years learned valuable coping techniques for those moments.

But that doesn't negate how I see the level of contempt and hostility shown toward survivors who bring up triggers as something to simply be considered. It's low. It's super ****ty. And I don't forget when no apology or reconciliation or even the most basic acknowledgement is offered.

Go ahead. Feel free to share your contempt and feeble attempts at good sarcasm. It's totally within bounds. But don't call me a friend if that's how you see the experiences of rape/assault survivors.

If I were to make a suggestion, not just towards you for this particular issue, but for anyone who deals with something like this, I think you'd get a lot more understanding if you explained it as PTSD rather than "trigger" something.

For good or ill(let's be realistic, for ill), on the internet "trigger" has become a notion that's mocked, even by people who would otherwise be 100% sympathetic if you explained it in a different way. But this is the internet, and labels are everything here.

I really hope it's clear I'm not trying to undermine or such our Dark Mistress's point, just an attempt to help.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

If I were to make a suggestion, not just towards you for this particular issue, but for anyone who deals with something like this, I think you'd get a lot more understanding if you explained it as PTSD rather than "trigger" something.

For good or ill(let's be realistic, for ill), on the internet "trigger" has become a notion that's mocked, even by people who would otherwise be 100% sympathetic if you explained it in a different way. But this is the internet, and labels are everything here.

I really hope it's clear I'm not trying to undermine or such our Dark Mistress's point, just an attempt to help.

Triggers weren't a dirty word until recently, though PTSD is something I've been coping with for over 20 years now. It was always understood by everyone as a catalyst for reliving trauma by combat veterans and survivors of catastrophes, but lately as it has been revealed that rape survivors deal with the same experiences, it began to be mocked.

I don't plan on catering to those who are ignorant for their sake or to receive empathy from them either. I felt it necessary to announce where I stood on the issue.

Based on the feedback I've seen so far, I still think the onus is on the ignorant to re-think their gut-check reaction to mockery of a phenomenon that was widely paired with being "shell-shocked" for decades. The phrase Rape Culture is mocked too...in fact, much of what amounts to most anything a survivor like myself sees concerning the experience of recovery and restitution is mocked and reduced down to not mattering or non-existent.

I understand the desire to help, but my stance remains set. People who mock the term are not people I call my friends.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

If I were to make a suggestion, not just towards you for this particular issue, but for anyone who deals with something like this, I think you'd get a lot more understanding if you explained it as PTSD rather than "trigger" something.

How do you suppose someone explain PTSD without bringing up triggers? Such as, my uncle who served in Vietnam, certain noises could trigger PTSD.

 

[Desert Snake]

In ten+ years on RF, I've noticed that there's groups of people that tend to get **** on more than others, and they move in cycles. I've seen same sex marriage, Muslim women, LDS Christians, and feminists get a fair share of hostility from members. Typically, I have little respect for the perspectives of those who target these groups, but respect the ability to share hostile criticism that stays within bounds.

Do you know what ''hostile'', means?

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Do you know what ''hostile'', means?

Do you have a point to make?

 

[Desert Snake]

Do you have a point to make?

Yeah, you just said that you were ok with hostile dialogue, or something to that affect

 

[Sunstone]

Triggers weren't a dirty word until recently, though PTSD is something I've been coping with for over 20 years now. It was always understood by everyone as a catalyst for reliving trauma by combat veterans and survivors of catastrophes, but lately as it has been revealed that rape survivors deal with the same experiences, it began to be mocked.

I don't plan on catering to those who are ignorant for their sake or to receive empathy from them either. I felt it necessary to announce where I stood on the issue.

Based on the feedback I've seen so far, I still think the onus is on the ignorant to re-think their gut-check reaction to mockery of a phenomenon that was widely paired with being "shell-shocked" for decades. The phrase Rape Culture is mocked too...in fact, much of what amounts to most anything a survivor like myself sees concerning the experience of recovery and restitution is mocked and reduced down to not mattering or non-existent.

I understand the desire to help, but my stance remains set. People who mock the term are not people I call my friends.

Funny how when something gets associated with rape, it suddenly becomes something to ridicule and belittle.