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How do you know you're in love?

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psychedelicsoul

Active Member
I've been feeling different but it might just be due to lack of life experiance. You see, I think I love my friend. I know I love him, but I'm not sure if I think of him as more than a friend. You see, I get lonely a lot when I'm by myself and I think about him a lot. I worry about whatever drug he's on and I get emotional just thinking that something might happen to him. Granted, I told y'all before, I'm addicted to shota/lolicon. I'm not attracted to males my own age, especially not with facial hair. I don't ever fantasize about kissing or ****ing him at all.

However, it's strange becuase even though I'm not sexually attracted to him, I've never felt closer to someone before.

I ain't never had no best friend before. I've had kids who I played with when I was little whom I don't remember. I ain't got no permanent friends. I've had people that I've talked to. But he's the first and only friend that I've ever cared about seeing again before. I don't know what I'd do if something happened to him. I think if he had to move or if something happened and I couldn't see him again, I'd be very sad.

This might sound totally normal to you or totally ****ing gay, but I don't know what's normal honestly.
 
Laika

Laika

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
(Assuming you're a guy) there are many forms of "love" and not all of them involve sex. It is possible for two men to be emotionally very close without being sexually attracted to each other ("brotherly love") but it is somewhat taboo because of the homophobic sterotypes and the absolute insistence that masculinity is defined by a refusal to be emotional. it is however, nothing to be ashamed of. If he's doing drugs and your worried about him I'd say thats a good thing. "close" freindships feel different from alot of the other relationships we have. so the fact you care about him means you are closer to him than perhaps you have been with other people.

there's nothing wrong with being bi or gay btw. the sex isn't the first thing you think about (I'm bi and I "noticed" how warm my freind was to be around shortly before I realised how good looking he was- wanting to sleep with him wasn't automatic but took alot of time to accept). To save you some aggravation, yes, "straight" men can be sexually attracted to men without identifying as gay or bi. so even if you did have feelings for him, you can still say your "straight". there isn't a clear dividing line between being straight, bi, and gay (which is why it can be so dam confusing). straight men do sleep with other striaght men. :confused:

the way I think of it is that sexual orientation refers to who you would marry, rather than who you sleep with or who you have feelings for. (So as I think there is a relatively even chance I would marry a girl or a guy as a guy, I think of myself as bisexual). see: The Kinsey Scale.

p.s. normality is over-rated. :D
 
Brickjectivity

Brickjectivity

wind and rain touch not this brain
Staff member
Premium Member
Really strong love warps your thinking, can hurt physically and keeps your mind very busy. It can destroy your concentration and even keep you from sleeping. The best way to notice it starting is you feel something like adrenaline while thinking about the person. That feeling is fair warning to either get away quickly or expect your feelings about them to grow. Usually its someone you encounter regularly. Hopefully its not someone at work.
 
metis

metis

aged ecumenical anthropologist
As a grandpa of 8, I just discussed this with one of my grandsons who is a high school senior. Here's what I told him about how you can tell if you're truly in love, and let's see if any of you agree:

That you so much love that person that you want to be physically and emotionally "inside"* them whereas you see yourselves as one, and that you would willingly give up your life if it were to save the other.


* I do not mean that in a sexual way.
 
Skwim

Skwim

Veteran Member
What you call your attraction/affection toward him doesn't matter. No one has to be an anything, or reach any level of affiliation to be labeled "FRIEND," "PAL," "BUDDY," "BEAU," "COMPANION," "SWEETHEART," or "LOVER." Forget the labels and concentrate on the relationship no matter how it evolves. Maybe you're in some kind of love and maybe you're not, so what? Don't let labels define you.
 
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psychedelicsoul

Active Member
Laika said:
(Assuming you're a guy) there are many forms of "love" and not all of them involve sex. It is possible for two men to be emotionally very close without being sexually attracted to each other ("brotherly love") but it is somewhat taboo because of the homophobic sterotypes and the absolute insistence that masculinity is defined by a refusal to be emotional. it is however, nothing to be ashamed of. If he's doing drugs and your worried about him I'd say thats a good thing. "close" freindships feel different from alot of the other relationships we have. so the fact you care about him means you are closer to him than perhaps you have been with other people.

there's nothing wrong with being bi or gay btw. the sex isn't the first thing you think about (I'm bi and I "noticed" how warm my freind was to be around shortly before I realised how good looking he was- wanting to sleep with him wasn't automatic but took alot of time to accept). To save you some aggravation, yes, "straight" men can be sexually attracted to men without identifying as gay or bi. so even if you did have feelings for him, you can still say your "straight". there isn't a clear dividing line between being straight, bi, and gay (which is why it can be so dam confusing). straight men do sleep with other striaght men. :confused:

the way I think of it is that sexual orientation refers to who you would marry, rather than who you sleep with or who you have feelings for. (So as I think there is a relatively even chance I would marry a girl or a guy as a guy, I think of myself as bisexual). see: The Kinsey Scale.

p.s. normality is over-rated. :D
Click to expand...

It's not okay for me to be bi, I cut myself.
Also, I don't feel this weird abnormal attachment when he's around. Only when he's not. I think my brain has some attachment issues from having very few friends.

metis said:
As a grandpa of 8, I just discussed this with one of my grandsons who is a high school senior. Here's what I told him about how you can tell if you're truly in love, and let's see if any of you agree:

That you so much love that person that you want to be physically and emotionally "inside"* them whereas you see yourselves as one, and that you would willingly give up your life if it were to save the other.


* I do not mean that in a sexual way.
Click to expand...

That's kind of creepy, I don't ever wanna fall in love if that's the case
 
Saint Frankenstein

Saint Frankenstein

Wanderer From Afar
Premium Member
People experience love differently.

This is love, to me, both literally and metaphorically:

I'd walk over broken glass for you
I'd crawl over burning coals for you
I'd do all the things you'd have me do
And I would gladly give my life for you

Lay me on your bed of nails
Tie me to your whipping post
I'll let you kill me
And I'll be your ghost

I'd hang myself in iron chains for you
I'd whip myself with razor wire for you
If you'd only promise to kiss my wounds
I would gladly give my life to you

Oh, enough of this torment
I am praying on broken knees
Let this cup pass my lips, oh Lord
I wish only to be with thee

I've never had those sentiments returned, however, and I doubt I ever will (in a romantic way; Jesus already did much of those things for me; or maybe I'm delusional; either way, there's a deeply psychological reason why I'm drawn so powerfully to Catholicism). When you experience love like me, it's probably best to never fall in love because it turns you into an intensely obsessive, self-destructive train wreck and it hurts infinitely more when the love isn't returned. For example, it landed me in the ER on suicide watch.

I can only ever speak for myself, though. I'm a very intense person, emotionally, and I don't expect most to understand.
 
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psychedelicsoul

Active Member
Saint Frankenstein said:
I've never had those sentiments returned, however, and I doubt I ever will (in a romantic way; Jesus already did much of those things for me; or maybe I'm delusional; either way, there's a deeply psychological reason why I'm drawn so powerfully to Catholicism). When you experience love like me, it's probably best to never fall in love because it turns you into an intensely obsessive, self-destructive train wreck and it hurts infinitely more when the love isn't returned. For example, it landed me in the ER on suicide watch.

I can only ever speak for myself, though. I'm a very intense person, emotionally, and I don't expect most to understand.
Click to expand...

I avoid love out of a hyper-macho "*****es ain't ****" attitude that was socially perscribed to me though rap culture. So you may have a better reason.
BTW, which is it?
Are you Catholic or a Gnostic Luciferian.
 
psychoslice

psychoslice

Veteran Member
I think you know when your in love when you don't expect the other to do what you want them to do, or not trying to change them to suit yourself in any way. Love is letting the other be who they are, if you don't like who they are then its not love.
 
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