I'm struggling financially due to anxiety

[Kapalika]

And I'm having issues finding a resolution.

Okay, I make some money doing music related stuff and what oddjobs I can, making ends meet since I'm crap at holding a normal "regular" job. But three months ago one of my more frequent customers for those oddjobs recently found someone else to do it for a bit' less and I've been left without a decent chunk of income and I didn't even make enough before (some of you may have noticed I was gone from the forum for a lot of May, June and July. I couldn't pay for internet even).. And any new music related work is too far off to even know how much or when I'd make anything. The last two months I've basically lived off of a good deal I got working on someone's album but most of that money is gone now.

I'm at a loss. The only saving grace is my significant other has a little bit of income and that I'm working with someone to get a job at a music store which I have a good shot at since I actually have a couple of really good references in the local music industry and it's something I work in regularly and have real experience in.

But that isn't assured, and I'm scared I won't get it. I don't think this will be much of an issue in this job but I've had issues with interviews and service based jobs because my anxiety is so severe. At one job, I would visibly shake as I worked a register when the fast-paced environment got stressful enough and I wasn't able to keep up (I took an IQ test years ago that showed I have a below average "processing speed").

Don't get me wrong, I know it's largely an irrational reaction. But it's involuntary and I almost always notice the physical pain and symptoms before I even feel anything emotionally happening, since I try to suppress it so much.

It seems that my passion is the thing least susceptible to my anxiety getting in the way. It was actually getting into music that's helped me improve my confidence to where it is now, which has tremendously improved my life.

But in the meantime I need some kind of income and I don't know what to do and the local services that are supposed to help people with disabilities like me find work are failing and seriously understaffed.

I basically got two main ideas. The first is just ask every one I come across and even people I don't know even knocking on doors to ask people if they need any work done to find new oddjobs. I've also had plans to start up a business with livestock where I live now but I got hit hard last month with expenses which cut into the money I had saved up for that and I only ended up having half the supplies I needed.

The second is just fill out every application I have the qualifications for (hard enough there too) and see how long I can last, rinse and repeat. But that is very stressful and it doesn't help me that my work history isn't that great, add to that I actually have a physical issue that makes working full time not possible for me even though I want to. It can be a long time between two jobs like that that I might only have for a couple of months at a time.

Honestly I prefer the first one but I don't know how to approach people about it, most customers I've had I've known or knew through someone else and the anxiety doesn't help with that at all.

So um, ya. I guess I'm asking for any suggestions or advice. And yes, I've explored the healthcare side of this and have some help on that end.

 

[buddhist]

I'm sorry to hear of your suffering.

Minimize spending everywhere you can ... look into early Buddhism and the Eightfold Path for mental health ... be generous wherever you can be, and generosity will be returned to you (Law of Kamma).

 

[Kapalika]

I'm sorry to hear of your suffering.

Minimize spending everywhere you can ... look into early Buddhism and the Eightfold Path for mental health ... be generous wherever you can be, and generosity will be returned to you (Law of Kamma).

Well, normally I never spend money if I can help it, and that's helped me a lot save money. But there are things I could maybe give up or shop smarter about (looking at you, alcohol).

As far as religion I recognize the law of Karma as I'm a Shaivite, actually a Shavite sect with a lot of mutual influence with some forms of Buddhism. So I can understand your suggestion. But I will say that being *too* generous has actually hurt me a few times before. One time, I thought it would hurt me and it did financially but they were a Buddhist actually lo.... last I heard they started to turn their life around and so I saw a value in that experience that surpassed any monetary worth. But that seems less common than I would hope for.

 

[Revoltingest]

What is likely to happen if you income stays low?
If you can survive it, then focus upon this security.

I just had a major investment (the majority of my net worth)
go down the drain. It's a scary big amount. But we'll survive, &
some day still retire. Life just won't be as lavish as it could've been.
I chose to not let it bother me. S*** happens.
(It took some effort to put Mrs Revolt in the same state of mind.)

Lest anyone think that I feign Zen-like enlightenment, fear not.
I've other issues weighing heavily upon me. I'm an obsessive
mess....a reluctant sleeper. But one strives & succeeds where one can.

 

[Nyingjé Tso]

Vanakkam

You play music ? Have good knowledge of audacity or things like that ?

Pût some portfolio of your stuff on soundcloud, many industries are always looking for sound designers... And they don't often look at jour work history, mainly to what you produce

Aum Namah shivaya

 

[Kapalika]

What is likely to happen if you income stays low?
If you can survive it, then focus upon this security.

I just had a major investment (the majority of my net worth)
go down the drain. It's a scary big amount. But we'll survive, &
some day still retire. Life just won't be as lavish as it could've been.
I chose to not let it bother me. S*** happens.
(It took some effort to put Mrs Revolt in the same state of mind.)

Lest anyone think that I feign Zen-like enlightenment, fear not.
I've other issues weighing heavily upon me. I'm an obsessive
mess....a reluctant sleeper. But one strives & succeeds where one can.

Then I risk not being able to pay all the utilities (though this will get better as winter gets closer) and I will be stuck where I have been for a long time. I'm trying to climb out of this, I don't want to be this bad off. It's pretty stressful and it's hard to live like this and it's not sustainable even if I wanted to.

I need to find a way to climb out, but it's bit' harder for me than I want to admit sometimes. But I'm at the point where I don't have much of a choice if I want to achieve my goals. I'm seeing two old highschool friends have a lot more success than me with music and It's made me realize that if they can do it, maybe I can to.

Vanakkam

You play music ? Have good knowledge of audacity or things like that ?

Pût some portfolio of your stuff on soundcloud, many industries are always looking for sound designers... And they don't often look at jour work history, mainly to what you produce

Aum Namah shivaya

Namaste!

I compose music and I work a lot with DAWs, synths and the like. I have a soundcloud and a website and most of the work I've gotten is related to sound design or audio engineering. Audio Engineering is where the real money is at. I've considered going to school for it but I also know I can just learn it myself and start out. That's how I've survived the last two months, working on that guy's album.

My lack of work experience isn't an issue for music related stuff since I'm currently active in it and have good references. But it's hard for someone who does my style to find work in this area. It's very metal and hard rock heavy. I do more electronic stuff although I'm looking to get a guitarist possibly. I've considered moving though if I can find a more lush area for this.

In the meantime though I can't rely on music to make me money since I actually an being held back by not having all the types of gear I need to take it to the next level (I need additional gear as opposed to upgrading anything). Saying anything more gets a little too technical.

But before I can do that, I need money, which means I need to find another source of income before I can invest more into my musical ambitions. But my anxiety holds me back often from working normal jobs. Sometimes it even interferes with my ability to work on music especially when a project is near the end if I'm not confident with the mix, but that comes and goes. I mostly worry about doing a "bad job" and it can be so severe that I don't touch any of my own projects for a month or two sometimes just afraid I can't pull anything off.

 

[Revoltingest]

Then I risk not being able to pay all the utilities (though this will get better as winter gets closer) and I will be stuck where I have been for a long time. I'm trying to climb out of this, I don't want to be this bad off. It's pretty stressful and it's hard to live like this and it's not sustainable even if I wanted to.

I need to find a good solution.

I find that most of the time, solutions lie in choosing how to feel about some adversity.
I ain't say'n it's easy or that it always works.

 

[Kapalika]

I find that most of the time, solutions lie in choosing how to feel about some adversity.
I ain't say'n it's easy or that it always works.

I messed up and redid that section when quoting you, but basically I know how i feel about it. I think it's just a matter of not letting the anxiety get in the way of following all the way through with my plans and that the plans are good plans to start with. I feel very challenged with it getting in the way lately though, as I've had 3 very severe panic attacks since last month. They were untypically severe. Normally it's much more moderate when it's a full attack, but most of the time it's not even that but more a feeling of danger and dread hanging over me for hours with chest pains and heart palpitations that prevents me from focusing on much of anything for too long.

I'm not sure what kind of new outlook I can have, since I do my best to stay positive but realistic and think long-term. Maybe I need to think even more short term in terms of answers and that's my issue.

 

[Revoltingest]

I messed up and redid that section when quoting you, but basically I know how i feel about it. I think it's just a matter of not letting the anxiety get in the way of following all the way through with my plans and that the plans are good plans to start with. I feel very challenged with it getting in the way lately though, as I've had 3 very severe panic attacks since last month. They were untypically severe. Normally it's much more moderate when it's a full attack, but most of the time it's not even that but more a feeling of danger and dread hanging over me for hours with chest pains and heart palpitations that prevents me from focusing on much of anything for too long.

I'm not sure what kind of new outlook I can have, since I do my best to stay positive but realistic and think long-term. Maybe I need to think even more short term in terms of answers and that's my issue.

Best wishes for your equanimity & financial security.

 

[Nyingjé Tso]

......

Vanakkam,

If you ever need I can maybe direct you or speak about you to some people. I know suite a few people in the vidéo game/movie industry that have a hard time finding sound designers and would accept you working From home... Just tell me whenever you can, I'll spread the word to my contacts and see if they are interested...

Can't do much besides that, am sorry

Aum Namah Shivaya

 

[Rick O'Shez]

The second is just fill out every application I have the qualifications for (hard enough there too) and see how long I can last, rinse and repeat. But that is very stressful and it doesn't help me that my work history isn't that great, add to that I actually have a physical issue that makes working full time not possible for me even though I want to. It can be a long time between two jobs like that that I might only have for a couple of months at a time.

That's a tricky one, and continually having job applications rejected is not going to help. Is it best to just apply for jobs where you have a reasonable chance of success and/or where your interests really lie?

Anxiety is also a tricky one, have you had any counselling for it?

I don't know where you live, but are there any benefits you can claim?

 

[Iti oj]

Follow all paths at once

 

[Revoltingest]

Follow all paths at once

That works in quantum mechanics, but it's very hard to do IRL.
I've managed at times though.

 

[Aštra’el]

A good fighter knows his or her mental and physical limitations... but a great fighter will always find a way around them.

 

[Iti oj]

That works in quantum mechanics, but it's very hard to do IRL.
I've managed at times though.

I can only suggest wb

That works in quantum mechanics, but it's very hard to do IRL.
I've managed at times though.

I can only suggest what i would do and what has worked for me. In am economy like this it takes many actions to survive. It could be weeks before a call back on an application and it cpuld take months or years for a buisness to develope enough customers . om top of that nothing is garunteed so puting all your eggs in one basic can be dangerious

 

[Shadow Wolf]

If you legally allowed to acquire discarded items in your state, then scraping electronics you can make a decent chunk of change. Being involved in the music industry may also help, as you may have at least a semi-reliable source of junk electronics to strip of the copper, brass, cast aluminum, motors, and other things you can take to a junk yard for money. Strip wires of the insulation (except for the really thin ones like USB, and in that case leave on the outermost sheath for more weight), google stripping down refrigerators and such, and fan motors can be good since discarded fans are fairly common. It does take some work, but if you can get a box about the size of a fast food fry box filled with copper wire you'll get a decent amount of money for it. And pick up anything/everything aluminum, and even those metal strips that are placed along floors can add up. About the only metal not worth messing with for the "non-industrial junker" is steel because it sells for so little that it takes so much to get anything for it, and unless you have a flat bed to haul in construction beams you'll probably only get lunch money at McDonalds or where ever.
It's not a full time income (not unless you have something like a construction company and have a good enough source of materials to haul enough to make over a grand per trip), but it's a decent way to supplement when you're hard pressed.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

And, on that note, dumpster diving can also be a good way to find things to resell online, but if it's allowed in your state. If it is, all it requires is learning when what stores throw their inventory out, making a trip to raid their dumpster, and spamming it on places like Ebay and Amazon.

 

[Brickjectivity]

Nurses are always in demand on a temporary basis. If you think you can handle it, maybe consider that for a longterm plan. Medical Terminology is another kind of work that is often part time or irregular.

 

[Onyx]

Post a pic in some stripper outfit and have some semblence of ryhthm with music and you could probably get some job somewhere making cash money, at least $1,000 a night if you fit the description

Where are your manners?

 

[Twilight Hue]

A good fighter knows his or her mental and physical limitations... but a great fighter will always find a way around them.

That's good advice. Id like to add going through them as well.

Many times, the mentality from which anexity arises, is far worse than the actual thing or nuance that triggers it. Facing such things directly and head on at times can dissipate or reduce the stress and discomfort notably.