An introduction

[Cacafire]

As I sit here writing this, I wonder what kind of reception I shall recieve by users at this website. It is possible--though no means easy, and usually dull--to ascertain a lot about the members of a forum through their responses to your first post. But unless you put something serioud it's usually a "hello, nice to meet you, g'day!" type of thing. I wouldn't be suprised.

My conception of a good forum is slightly reminiscent of the greeks, if you will. Perhaps the roman bathhouses. Yes, it is a place to argue and talk politics, but it is also a place of relaxed atmosphere, of welcome and the knowledge that so long as you have something to say, you are prepared. One need not fear rebuttal or challenge, though it shall come frequently and fast, but rather look forward to it with a sense of eagerness, a sense of anticipatory play that the ancients possessed.

I am Jose Luis Nunez, and I am pleased to meet you. I believe this website caters to people of all religions, but I wonder if that extends to individual ones? To me, a religion is nothing more than a worldview, an inner mythology reflected outward to the impression of awe and wonder. As such, my own inner mythology I claim as PostFloyd. I could care less about converting others, and I certainly will not become the advocate for my own worldview. Perhaps you would like to learn more about it, perhaps not. But that is for Private Messaging, I suppose.

I would like to simply point out what contradictions and inconsistencies, or what goes against radical doubt or evidenced science, and even what simply sounds ridiculous, in the hopes of bringing awareness to the fact that all religions have thier uses, some more important than others.

I will not shy away from vigourously attacking ideas, as a procurator in a roman bathhouse would. And I will not take offense at any attacks at my ideas, however small my ideas may be. I attack with enthusiasm, and I recieve attack as the same.

Now then, I was born to two Catholic Parents, and growing up was extremely devout. I believed very much the catholic viewpoint. In school, I was recognized for scoring extremely high on an IQ test. If I remember correctly the score was around 164. I should be proud of that, but I was young, and I don't remember much of the test. Not something really that important. Anyway, I was placed in an accelerated program for gifted and talented students, where I found the classes stupendously boring. The children around me were all right. Friendly enough. But as the school years stretched on, I found I immensely preferred the friendship of my teachers; I was immensely impressed by what they knew. They certainly were not geniuses, but compared to a young child, one might see how I was so amazed.

Still, I went to church, took communion, became confirmed. As I was growing up, I felt side-by-side the culture of science and the dogma of the church, keeping within me a rare combination of the two. There was no conflict.

There was something else, however, which I have yet to name, that I felt growing up. I was searching for something that I didn't quite know. Now, I realize that I was bristling at the forefront of my limitations. I felt that what I was looking for was within the church, and I pursued it aggressively, but to know avail. By my twelfth birthday, I was at my wits end. I was drowning in confusion.

Then, a few days later, I happened to join a philosophy forum, which is no longer around today. I owe a great debt to one person there. I think his screen name was Anthony something or other. Maybe it was Thomas or something or other. As I set out to expound the virtues of Catholocism against these stupid heathens, I found myself in a precarious position. Not only did the usal arguments of christianity fly with these intellectuals, but their arguments flew more in line with radical scepticism than mine.

In many ways, I was humiliated by Anthony. He scorned me, and mocked my religion with such intense focused reasoning that I hated him for it. It was then that I saw the obvious incompatibility between 9th century wisdom and an entire flood of modern thought.

Needless to say, after much hate and anger and pissy bitching I embraced the idea that there was no god. It was at this angst-ridden moment that that "other", that thing that I could not name, burst through into my conciousness as the object of my desires. I still could not name it. But I was somehow more sharply aware of it than ever before.

It's a strange feeling when you want to completely destroy your unconcious. The unconcious is not evil, but it is limiting. The inner mythology is a trap. A vast spacious trap that is hemmed in like a self-consistent box, and no matter how real the pixies or elves, or wise men of cainarn seem, they are just figments of the box. Creatures of shadow that morph and change. What I wanted... what I wanted...I could not know.

And that is what I realized that I wanted. The universe consists of all that exists: all that communicates and therefore interacts with outside systems. The inner realm of the psyche is embedded in this universe, housed in the minute physiology and ancient feelings that make up the body. It's all there to be percieved and interacted with, for sure. But when a mind expands to fill the entire space, it realizes with great horror that existence is a limitation. It is the ultimate barrier between the real and the non-existent, which also does not exist.

I could not take it. It was like seeing the universe from outside it. There is not even nothing. I want... I wish... I wish I could die.

Not my body. That is allready dead. But ego and unconcious will always exist, absorbed into others when the body dies. The spirit's job is to observe: to know. And thus it will not leave the universe. It will stay always so long as there is something to know. And I do not want that.

I want... something else.
Interesting problems like this demand innovative solutions. One can not get by with just saying that Jesus is going to bring you to heaven. "Believe in salvation" the priest says. But even if I believed in it I would hate the very existence of it. I have made many attempts to resolve the power inside me. Such pitiful attempts are not worthy of that power, but they allowed me to at least draft a small worldview.

I call this worldview PostFloyd, and it is a work in progress. Far from the ultimate authority, it is best known as wildly sobbed yearning in the dark. And thus, it can not solve the problems of the world. It can not solve the problems I originally professed to want to solve. But that is how it solves them, I suppose; by dumping you in an endless sea, and telling you to dive. dive. Dive Deep.

And That is what I shall Do.

[ChristineES]

Welcome. I certainly look forward to your posts.

[methylatedghosts]

My, what an introduction!

Welcome, welcome!

[Snow_Owl]

Hello there and welcome to RF! Enjoy your stay

[Vanguard17]

hello, and welcome to the forums. i hope you enjoy yourself, and we'll see you around

[Cacafire]

If I may ask, What are frubals?
What are the medals below peoples user names?

Also, thank you for the warm welcome. I guess I wrote to much. I tend to do that.

[methylatedghosts]

Frubals mean people like youre posts.

Or just like you.

Click UserCP to check out who's Fruballed you!

[MysticSang'ha]

Tashe delek and welcome to the forums!

Frubals are like messages of encouragement that you give to someone if you like what they posted. If it made you laugh, think, or create, or if you just want to give them a free gift "just because."

Medals are granted by our awards committee once a month to members who are deemed most deserving of various attributes (Humour, Kindness, Scholarship, etc.).

BTW, you give frubals by clicking on the scales icon at the top right corner of the post you like.

Happy posting!

[mball1297]

Welcome! I look forward to seeing what you have to say.