Confused by beliefs....... (Jesus, rituals, moral, followers, choices)

WannaBreLIGOUS · #1 05-12-2008, 12:54 PM

Howdy,

My name is Jarrod, i am new to your forum, my intentions is not to offend any one religion or person. Just express a recent religious experience / views on questions i have. I will refer to GOD as "our Lord" in reality there is no title/label to define my Belief.

Mothersday- our family got invited to a church function, my brother and his wife dedicated thier son to God, thourgh teaching of religious values and beliefs.

This is good in my view- Not for the religoiuos teaching but for the positive moral value which in most cases produced through religon.

what has thrown me off is- Driving to this church, by guided by parking lot attendants, seeing gas guzzling veichals, seeing Males and Females Wearing and driving cars above the means of thier Fellow followers. Big screen T.V.s through out the building, an over all wealthy church. while seeing others whithin the same church struggling to surrive- Is this Our lord's intentions? The way we express our Love and compassion.

I walked in to this church, feeling the hidding hurts among many. the blind devotaion to the Lord( devotion should live with in your heart's), The confused and Yes the seamly Happy, yet blind to the hurts that surround them. I have to stop here in light of passing personal judgement.

I do however have a few other question while i'm here-

The Lord- A man? Kindness and loving ,nurturing compassion, these are emotions that more than commonly found within women.

The color of jesus- Really,i Imagine him much darker then we portray him.

Choosing a religion- Who are we to commit ourselves to any one religion. By choosing a religion over another aren't we making a personal statement about what is the true religion of our lord- My personal belief is, there is only one true religion. This religion doesn't posses a title, it includes every living thing, it's combine unity among all living organisms in which our father has gifted us.

In short words, please by all means continue attending your churchs, it's in our combine faith, and in which how we choose to impose our beliefs among our brothers and sisters, is where our lords finds his or her(or sexless) strength and will for his people.

Among my journeys through life attending many differnet religous services ,i have only met a few people, that i believe truely posess true breathless love and devotion to our lord- this saddens me tremdously.

AS you read the following Know this, i am not a person of religion i attend no churches i am no more good than i am evil. i simply love my children and live i am your non church going nieghor.

Something i've have never shared and have no explanantion for-

in short- My friend an i were out being boys climbing hiking fishing etc. I was a little heavy in wieght, i got stuck climbing down a watefall with no where to go- my friend in better physical shape then me was able to climb back up, after several tries, my friend could not help me up. I Asked him to go get my step-father- the man that not only molested my sister but my brother, i had no one else to call for- this was a current event. Due to lack of words i ended up jumping from the ledge with intent on ending my life. to this day i see the mist of the water fall surrounding my body and the boulders i was to fall apon i closed my ey's with impending death only to hear the voice of my friend reaching out to me, here grab my hand i was lifted from that ledge and off to play how boys do.

The second ecperience- don't laugh

in my big screen t.v. i saw my version of jesus. i was laying on they couch tv off just reflecting on what brought me to this small town, why was i there. i recently moved there to start a new life for my children( i just became a single father of two) I glanced once at the screen seen the face, puzzled me had to look again. the sight of it didn't offer in words or explanation. i am not a religious man i very rarely think about religon, lord jesus etc..and can't explain why he was projected onto the screen...

An angel maybe? as a young man (18-19) i was caught up in a life is was not a custom to-( Crack heads) This was through bad personal choices- i did not use any form of drugs maybe a few sips of cheap wine to be cool, i don't care for alcohol never had. anyhow my friend being a part of that life- our hotel room got robbed. cash every thing- my friend trying to recoup some money got further invovled with crack. as i struggleing with embarassment not wanting to call my parents to come save me. O'dell came across this woman, she referred to herself as (popsical). i didn't reeally put all the pieces together until i was older. She came to save me- walking down the street with her Some one Yells out Popsical "i thought you were dead" she had some witty come back. in the hotel room i rolled over one night to open my eye's to her making love to o'dell' my eye's woke to see the the beauty's of an angel(actual thought). i was with her for a week all though i only seen the love making once, i woke to her in my bed, she said it where she felt safe. My last moment with her- she told me it's was time for me to call my mother- without argument i did. she looked to me and she said "I love you" places her hands on my shoulders and turn me around and softly says' when you turn around, you will not see me or i'll be gone something to that fashion, and i don't want you to go looking for me. sadly i agreed. i turned around she was gone?? i mean gone i didn't see her there was no place to hide we were in a open hotel parking lot. Puzzled yet young i remained, soon after my aunt came and picked me up, i stayed with her for a couple days before she put me on a plane back to my mother. I now know why i was there, but thats to remain inside me.

This is hard for me to write i have never shared these experiences, and i am tearful. i know my grammer and spelling is a little off i am sry

I'm sorry this turned into religous ramblings, i'm going to stop here.

Take care and happy day's.

Runt · #2 05-12-2008, 01:03 PM

Welcome to your new addiction. I mean home.

ChristineES · #3 05-12-2008, 01:44 PM

Welcome, and enjoy your stay.

Some people feel that faith and religion are the same thing, I tend to disagree. Faith is belief in God while religion is rituals. Everyone worships God, regardless of religion, in his or her own way.

Fluffy · #4 05-14-2008, 04:48 PM

Heya Jarrod! Its really nice to meet you!

Thanks so much for sharing your story with us! I was confused about my beliefs when I first came to Religious Forums as well. 4 years later and I'm just as confused but I've made loads of great friends and a lot of respect for the beliefs of others along the way. I really hope you stick around!

See you on the forums
Fluffy