The insecure male

[Me Myself]

Originally Posted by dust1n

Not sure testosterone and a lack thereof is one hundred percent relevant. I'm not aware of any study tying testosterone levels to insecurity or competition. Competition seems to be the opposite actually. I know higher levels can temporary increase self-esteem and fight depression, but I'm not sure self-esteem, happiness, and security are all tied into one.

I wouldn´t say 100% relvant. I would just say it is there and it is relevant.

Wouldn´t say testosterone is bad either, just another factor.

[dust1n]

Originally Posted by Sunstone

Testosterone levels probably have more influence on male confidence than any other single factor.

Originally Posted by Me Myself

Actually, testosterone does make us strive for competition as it has been found out.

We would be from then on biologically more prone to evaluate ourselves more in basis of how we did on those competitions. This would still be there even if no women around.

Originally Posted by Me Myself

I wouldn´t say 100% relvant. I would just say it is there and it is relevant.

Wouldn´t say testosterone is bad either, just another factor.

I would say it is relevant. But testosterone precedes the facilities of the mind where security and insecurity take place. But our consciousness has the ultimate say regardless of testosterone levels. The consciousness is the determiner as to whether one is secure or insecure, not testosterone levels. Security doesn't take place in the body, it takes place in the qualia.

Also, the line about testosterone causing males to strive for competition doesn't seem to be clear as one might indicate. The studies go different ways.

[Wirey]

Most of my insecurities are due to my many, many deep flaws. I'm far too handsome for someone as athletic and wealthy as I am, and I'm just too gosh-darn nice. If you don't believe me, ask Revoltingest about the time I punched the old lady at the mall and then knocked her husband out. I'm a real sweetie.

Insecurities are a part of human nature, and we all have to deal with them. Causes are as varied as people.

[BHSU_Student]

Originally Posted by MysticSang'ha

OK, peeps. I'm interested, truly interested, in reading a man's POV on struggling with insecurity.

What do you believe causes insecurity? How fragile is the male ego? Do you believe it is inherent/biological, or cultural/environmental, or a mixture of both?

If you have encountered both a broken ego as well as a healthy ego, can you describe what changed for the better or worse? Was it a simply a matter of perspective? Or do external factors weigh in? Job, school, relationships, family, belief-system, chemical imbalance, etc.?

Almost a year ago, I started liking a girl who was my friend. She was in an abusive relationship, where the guy didn't pay much attention to her, would tell her things like "I was drunk when I first met you," would have bruises on her body, etc. I didn't like her initially, in fact I felt like I needed to run away, but I fell sorry and wanted to "save" her. Big mistake. Long story short, she treated me like a doormat and was a control freak. When it was firmly established that we were just friends, she would get mad and ignore me if I started talking to other (attractive) women too much, or ask questions about who they were. In the end she stayed with her boyfriend that lived in a freakin garage. The other guy she was into was fat and balding, 3 years younger, and 3 inches shorter than her. I am often told that I am handsome (I think I am nice looking), or a good guy, but she wasn't in to me. That will definitely leave any man feeling insecure for a while. Nothing hurts worse when you try to care about someone and instead of getting that in return, you become their garbage can.

So to any guys reading this, if a girl has issues, stay the hell away. Don't try to save someone, or change someone, or help them improve, only they can do that for themselves. If you try to, you will put your normally healthy ego at huge risk.

[jasonwill2]

childhood trauma makes fragile egos

[Wirey]

Originally Posted by jasonwill2

childhood trauma makes fragile egos

So does a short wiener. Trust me.