I got flak for saying I am androgynous

[jasonwill2]

Earlier in the Ajax chat, and I don't think that anyone understood a word I was saying. They kept either thinking that I was bisexual, transgender, or that I was "caring about what others think" in reguard to gender roles, and that somehow this related to my religion (which it doesn't), and to "use them or lose them". Pure stupidity/ignorance/misunderstanding. The whole reason I even brought it up was because I changed my gender identity on the forums from male to gender neutral and wondered if anyone noticed.

As of note though, I AM heterosexual and biologically a man. But I don't think anyone really understands what it means to be androgynous.

It means having nearly the same amount of female and male psyches, more or less.

Wikipeida says it better:

"The Bem Sex Role Inventory is one of the most widely used gender measures and was constructed by the early leading proponent of androgyny, Sandra Bem (1977).[2] Based on their responses to the items in the Bem Sex-Role Inventory, individuals are classified as having one of four gender-role orientations: masculine, feminine, androgynous, or undifferentiated.

The androgynous person is simply a female or male who has a high degree of both feminine (expressive) and masculine (instrumental) traits. A feminine individual is high on feminine (expressive) traits and low on masculine (instrumental) traits. A masculine individual is high on instrumental traits and low on expressive traits. An undifferentiated person is low on both feminine and masculine traits.[2]"


This, according to some, is actually healthy:


"According to Sandra Bem, androgynous men and women are more flexible and more mentally healthy than either masculine or feminine individuals; undifferentiated individuals are less competent.[2] To some degree though, context influences which gender role is most adaptive. In close relationships, a feminine or androgynous gender role may be more desirable because of the expressive nature of close relationships. However, a masculine or androgynous gender role may be more desirable in academic and work settings because of their demands for action and assertiveness."


For me, I identify my self-expression as inherently female in nature, but my aggression and adversarial spirit is inherently male, and is the source of my power. Actually, this doesn't explain it very well, but... well the best I can say is that I feel that I have a healthy amount of both genders programmed into me, but that it does not affect my sexual orientation in the slightest.

I have no problem or discomfort with being androgynous. On a physical level I make the distinction that I am a heterosexual man that likes girls and NOT guys, but at the same time I realize I am more than comfortable with the fact that I am mentally and psychologically both genders yet neither at the same time... I am simply me, simply the purest mix of male and female psyches into one male body.

I do not see how this is bad or "wrong" or transgender in anyway. Actually, I find females in general more like-able and relatable in many ways, but at the same time have definate masculine traits that contrast this. I am not a "feminine" man, nor am I a "woman" trapped in a man's body. I'm simply, on a mental and emotional level, gender neutral. I like girls and NOT guys, and I am STRAIGHT.


Does anyone, ANYONE at all get what I am saying? My sexual identity has NOTHING to do with my sexual orientation. I love myself just how I am and have NEVER had a problem with seeing myself as androgynous IN THE SLIGHTEST. Then again I never felt compelled to tell anyone about it before. Does anyone at all get what I am trying to say?

[apophenia]

I get that. Possibly because I grew up in an all-female family (when that was very unusual, unlike today), and so my psyche was not formed by imitating a father/brothers. I became glad of that as an adult, although it did take a while to understand why I said 'wonderful' instead of 'f$#@ing great' etc. The culture of bloke-ism in Australia is awful, and very limiting in lots of ways. 'Bloke' is a word meaning unambiguously hetero ( as in 'he's a top bloke'), and the behaviour which goes with it is like some kind of gender fundamentalism - I think they must be insecure about their gender identity to need to assert it so much.

I agree that the psyche does not have a penis or vagina.

[Iti oj]

i am said ajaxian. and i am quite cool with you being you.

[jasonwill2]

Originally Posted by Iti oj

i am said ajaxian. and i am quite cool with you being you.

Well at least you weren't the one who said "use em or lose em". I think the bit you said was about what I though of others thinking about me.. which is a valid point but was never an issue in terms of my sexuality.

I mostly, at the times i asked about what others thought, was curious if the image I was projecting was the one that I intended. also i like to know what ppl think of satanism in general becuase it helps to know what biases they might have when talking to them.

but this is another topic altogether =)

[Iti oj]

Originally Posted by jasonwill2

Well at least you weren't the one who said "use em or lose em". I think the bit you said was about what I though of others thinking about me.. which is a valid point but was never an issue in terms of my sexuality.

I mostly, at the times i asked about what others thought, was curious if the image I was projecting was the one that I intended. also i like to know what ppl think of satanism in general becuase it helps to know what biases they might have when talking to them.

but this is another topic altogether =)

i was just worried that you get caught up in what others think...its cool to know and wonder and use that info but you seem emotionaly attached sometimes and if so that can drag you down

[Gjallarhorn]

I'm more than certain you were getting flak because you were overly obsessed with what other people sought to label you as.

But enjoy the misinterpreted persecution.

[atropine]

There's an Ajax chat?

On topic, if people can't respect your identify, they can go skydiving into a volcano. :P You are the one who knows who and what you are, not anyone else. Some people have no use for gender, and some people do. It's what I've been saying all along on other threads. Gender is what your brain tells you that you are, and if you feel androgynous, then that's that. No one could or should argue with you on that.

[Iti oj]

Originally Posted by atropine

There's an Ajax chat?

On topic, if people can't respect your identify, they can go skydiving into a volcano. :P You are the one who knows who and what you are, not anyone else. Some people have no use for gender, and some people do. It's what I've been saying all along on other threads. Gender is what your brain tells you that you are, and if you feel androgynous, then that's that. No one could or should argue with you on that.

We weren't. We said the same things the whole thread is twisted and any attack he did receive was not do to his gender indentification.

[Quintessence]

I sort of understand it, but only partially, because I choose to reject the construct of gender entirely and I don't really get where the supposed "lines" are between "masculine" and "feminine" or what would be called "androgynous." My response to questions like "what's your gender?" is "huh?" and "404 ERROR." It does, however, mean I understand quite well that gender has nothing to do with sexual orientation.

[jasonwill2]

Originally Posted by Gjallarhorn

I'm more than certain you were getting flak because you were overly obsessed with what other people sought to label you as.

But enjoy the misinterpreted persecution.

I never took it as persecution but rather as a mass-confusion as to what I meant.