Dispel my confusion, if you can... (Jesus, ritual, Creator, gospel)

[Quagmire]

Hang in there Random. someone once told me, "confusion is the frame around the picture of understanding".

He also told me, "Come'on man, 50 more cents and I can get a 40".

I'm not sure if that last part was supposed to be a metaphor or what.

[Jeremiah]

Originally Posted by Random

People often listen to me speak of things they think no ordinary man should know about (or bother themselves with) and react in generally one of two ways: either they are intrigued and find what I'm saying thought-provoking, or they think I'm semi-insane and immediately shun me like a weird person thereafter.

Now the former sort will find they have learnt something from me if they take what I say and apply it to their own life experience, but few will do this. Instead, they will most likely never pass the intellectual level and probably go off seeking sources for what I relate that don't exist in any way accessible to them.

The latter sort are low-minded, foolish people I often (against my own better judgement) end up regretting having given my time to. Even as regards them, I usually end up hoping I have somehow managed to sow a seed of doubt and uncertainty that might one day (or one lifetime) blossom anew in their hearts and minds and liberate them.

I would say one in every 10 people I talk with about spirituality, life and everything
actually understand what I'm saying. Of those 1-in-10 only a minority again would actually have the wit and the will to do anything about it. The rest essentially pretend to want to know, but run away @ once should the knowlege be forthcoming.

This situation has led me to many hours of wondering, long teatimes of the soul (so to speak). I am a good teacher according even to the people who don't accept what I say, but regardless, the point is that I have come to the conclusion that the reason I cannot transmit my teachings to others in a way that immediately impacts their spirit, which is awareness, and makes the dharma a transformative experience for the student (all the great spiritual Masters are said to have had this ability), is because although I don't like to admit it, I am still confused in some ways: even after all these years of learning and attainment in both the subjective and objective realms.

But confused about what, you might ask. Well what else? GOD. I possess a fine grasp of many things related to GOD, like philosophy, religion, esoterica (and exoterica), symbolism, cosmology, spiritual discipline etc. but I simply cannot decide once and for all whether I should believe in GOD or not. If it were as simple as following my heart, then I would speak from my intellect (which is never far from my heart) and say "No, there is no GOD, I do not believe", and that would be that. But it never lasts: for the truth is that somedays I do believe in GOD, and these are the days when I find myself acutely aware that it may not be what I KNOW that is so important, but rather what I DON'T know that is...

You see, it's like this: someone says to me something about GOD that I find agreeable to intellect and heart (like "GOD is Love and we are all born of Love) and I will then affirm that, saying "Yes, you're right". But five minutes later someone else will say something that I don't like about GOD (such as "GOD is our Father in heaven who will Judge us all for our sins and only the righteous will survive, the rest will perish in fire and brimstone!"), and I will say "No, you're deluded and possibly psychotic: your GOD does not exist". You see the problem? I only believe the versions of GOD acceptable to me and when I don't find them so, I throw the baby out with the bathwater and deny Him altogether. I simply have never found the middle ground, if there is any.

So there you have it: somedays I believe in GOD and somedays I don't. Frankly, it (my confusion) has gotten so bad these days that I will be theist/atheist inside the same hour if it suits the mood I'm in, or dependent upon which side of the bed I wake up on. But this is of course ridiculous and I feel it makes a fool of me...worse, I might be going crazy for real.

So, what am I in truth then? Am I a true believer scared to admit it, or a doubting Thomas sitting on the fence, or a closet atheist afraid to let go? I just don't know.

Can anybody advise me? Does any of this resonate with others here on RF? I welcome any comments or questions. Thanks in advance...

I think that a communication barrier can often make a person seem stupider than they really are. Learning to understand what people are saying is just as important as making yourself understood.

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Theology is a daunting task just keep in mind you can return to the real world anytime you want. Just put on a movie, read a book, play video games, take up a new hobbie, ect... anything to distract your mind for a while.

-

As far as no god/yes god. Things are easier to understand when you simplify them.
Just realize that in either case you are still stuck in the same situation.

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"spiritual Masters are said to have had this ability"

People do not have magical powers, but can be skilled in the art of communication.

[!Fluffy!]

Originally Posted by Booko

Perhaps the point is more about the questions than the answers?

sorry, this pov is one i have never been able to settle for.
why?
i thirst - my body needs water - water exists
i hunger - my body needs food - food exists
i ask - my soul needs absolute truth - absolute truth exists

thirst is for quenching
hunger is for eating
our needs are there for a reason. the need to know real answers to real questions is not a game or an exercise or a pursuit. it is there for a reason as concrete as hunger and thirst.

/imho.

[Papersock]

Originally Posted by !Fluffy!

thirst is for quenching
hunger is for eating
our needs are there for a reason. the need to know real answers to real questions is not a game or an exercise or a pursuit. it is there for a reason as concrete as hunger and thirst.

/imho.

If we didn't thirst or hunger, we wouldn't look for water or food. And then we might starve to death. The need is just as imoprtant as the fulfillment. Perhaps more so, because it keeps us looking even after we find something the first time.

[PureX]

Originally Posted by !Fluffy!

sorry, this pov is one i have never been able to settle for.
why?
i thirst - my body needs water - water exists
i hunger - my body needs food - food exists
i ask - my soul needs absolute truth - absolute truth exists

thirst is for quenching
hunger is for eating
our needs are there for a reason. the need to know real answers to real questions is not a game or an exercise or a pursuit. it is there for a reason as concrete as hunger and thirst.

/imho.

What about all those folks who have died of hunger and thirst, because food and water was not there when they needed it?

Even if "absolute truth" exists, what good is it to a limited creature that can't identify it as such?

[PureX]

As to the opening post, the word "God" doesn't define an answer, as some religions claim. The word "God" defines a mystery. In fact, it defines THE mystery. It defines the mystery of the meaning and purpose of our own existence. So of course you aren't going to be able to "figure it out". If you could, you'd no longer be human. Or you'd be pretending to know what you can't know.

Does God exist? Yes. Because God is a mystery, and the mystery exists. But what does any of this really tell us? It tells us that we don't know anything about anything that matters. And we're right back to square one. The pursuit of such truth is often a fool's errand. Far better that we pursue honesty and humility, as at least these we can attain.

[slabbey06]

Originally Posted by PureX

Even if "absolute truth" exists, what good is it to a limited creature that can't identify it as such?

Why don't you think we can identify absolute truth? I think if we honestly search for it we can. I also think we identify absolute truth every day, we just don't think of it that way. Doesn't the nature of truth itself call for absolutes? And if we can learn and know truth, don't we have the ability to discover what absolute truth is?

[PureX]

Originally Posted by slabbey06

Why don't you think we can identify absolute truth? I think if we honestly search for it we can. I also think we identify absolute truth every day, we just don't think of it that way. Doesn't the nature of truth itself call for absolutes? And if we can learn and know truth, don't we have the ability to discover what absolute truth is?

The only way for a human to identify truthfulness, is to identify it relative to some external condition or criteria. That defines truth for us as being relative. Not because all truth IS relative, but because that's the only way we have of recognizing truthfulness. Absolute truth is an ideal. Relative truthfulness is the reality of truth as we are able to experience it.