Fake pop quiz time!

[9-10ths_Penguin]

Okay... the pop quiz thread (Stump RF: It's pop quiz time!) is awesome, but way too factual for my liking. I thought we should have an alternative for people who are good at wit and BS, even if they don't necessarily have a lot of facts memorized.

In this spirit, correct answers count for ZERO in this quiz. All points are awarded for the style of the answers, not for the substance.

So... here are a few questions to start us off:

1. What were Napoleon's last words?

2. Explain the etymology of the word "tangerine".

3. The capital of Iceland is Reykjavik. If a train leaves Chicago going east at 50 miles per hour, how much sugar should you put on a true Scotsman?

4. What is the densest substance known to humanity?

5. What is the total volume of ground cinnamon in existence today?

[Wirey]

Originally Posted by 9-10ths_Penguin

Okay... the pop quiz thread (Stump RF: It's pop quiz time!) is awesome, but way too factual for my liking. I thought we should have an alternative for people who are good at wit and BS, even if they don't necessarily have a lot of facts memorized.

In this spirit, correct answers count for ZERO in this quiz. All points are awarded for the style of the answers, not for the substance.

So... here are a few questions to start us off:

1. What were Napoleon's last words?

2. Explain the etymology of the word "tangerine".

3. The capital of Iceland is Reykjavik. If a train leaves Chicago going east at 50 miles per hour, how much sugar should you put on a true Scotsman?

4. What is the densest substance known to humanity?

5. What is the total volume of ground cinnamon in existence today?

1) That was Dynamite!
2) Tang - the orange drink and erine - A cross between a wolverine and the letter E
3) Scotsmen don't use sugar. they're sweet enough.
4) Wirey's in-laws.
5) 4 and a half cubic decalitres. I checked.

[tumbleweed41]

Originally Posted by 9-10ths_Penguin

1. What were Napoleon's last words?

Anyone got a match?

Originally Posted by 9-10ths_Penguin

2. Explain the etymology of the word "tangerine".

From the word "tangible", as in "What is it that I perceive? Oh, it's a little bitty orange"

Originally Posted by 9-10ths_Penguin

3. The capital of Iceland is Reykjavik. If a train leaves Chicago going east at 50 miles per hour, how much sugar should you put on a true Scotsman?

Just a wee bit.

Originally Posted by 9-10ths_Penguin

4. What is the densest substance known to humanity?

Fred Phelps

Originally Posted by 9-10ths_Penguin

5. What is the total volume of ground cinnamon in existence today?

Trick question. Cina-bon is actually a secret cabal in control of all cinnamon production originating on the peak of the Olympus Mons on Mars.

[Trey of Diamonds]

1. What were Napoleon's last words?

laissez le bon temps rouler

2. Explain the etymology of the word "tangerine".

tan - to darken.
ger - from Germany, but only the beginning.
ine - a corruption of the work ink.

The original use of the word tangerine was to describe an ink used by early German peoples that would darken as time passed. It wasn't until a notable German poet was visiting China that the meaning changed. It seemed he was trying to explain the ink process when a group of children began pelting him with small oranges. He kept screaming tangerine at them until the locals decided that was his term for the oranges.

3. The capital of Iceland is Reykjavik. If a train leaves Chicago going east at 50 miles per hour, how much sugar should you put on a true Scotsman?

As much as will fit in a Glenlivet bottle before a Scotsman takes his first drink out of it.

4. What is the densest substance known to humanity?

Mitt Romney's Swiss bank account.

5. What is the total volume of ground cinnamon in existence today?

x to the power of 10 but only in the summer months and when x gets enough water.

[Revoltingest]

Originally Posted by 9-10ths_Penguin

1. What were Napoleon's last words?

"I surrender. Now, wheres my cheese!?!"

3. The capital of Iceland is Reykjavik. If a train leaves Chicago going east at 50 miles per hour, how much sugar should you put on a true Scotsman?

None!

4. What is the densest substance known to humanity?

True belief.

[Draka]

Originally Posted by 9-10ths_Penguin

Okay... the pop quiz thread (Stump RF: It's pop quiz time!) is awesome, but way too factual for my liking. I thought we should have an alternative for people who are good at wit and BS, even if they don't necessarily have a lot of facts memorized.

In this spirit, correct answers count for ZERO in this quiz. All points are awarded for the style of the answers, not for the substance.

So... here are a few questions to start us off:

1. What were Napoleon's last words?

2. Explain the etymology of the word "tangerine".

3. The capital of Iceland is Reykjavik. If a train leaves Chicago going east at 50 miles per hour, how much sugar should you put on a true Scotsman?

4. What is the densest substance known to humanity?

5. What is the total volume of ground cinnamon in existence today?

1) Ah...merde.

2) A tan geriatric Marine found a little orange one day.

3) There is no true Scotsman...and you use Splenda...he's on a diet.

4) The brain of Chuck Norris.

5) 14 decibels

[9-10ths_Penguin]

Originally Posted by Draka

5) 14 decibels

I think this answer should get bonus points.

Anyone up for giving us some more questions?

[Draka]

1) Why are they called pigtails on a girl's head but a pig has only one?

2) Where did January and February come from?

3) Is your red the same as everyone else's red?

4) What are the exact coordinates for Davy Jones' Locker?

5) What time is it when you add 2 hours to the time it is for you now but subtract 44 minutes from the time it is 5 time zones east of you?

[9-10ths_Penguin]

Originally Posted by Draka

5) What time is it when you add 2 hours to the time it is for you now but subtract 44 minutes from the time it is 5 time zones east of you?

Happy Hour.

[Draka]

Originally Posted by 9-10ths_Penguin

I think this answer should get bonus points.

Thought I'd go for something a bit different than the assumed