She's gone. (pray, God, prayer)

[Mister_T]

I am sorry to hear of your loss. That is a terrible thing to go through especially around this time of year. I too just lost someone very dear to me last month. If you ever need to talk, feel free to PM me or shoot me an email.

[Djamila]

A few days ago I came across your first thread, asking for prayers. My husband has relatives near Medugorje and people in the town write the names of their loved ones that paste them on a cross near apparition hill. They normally write the proper name but I didn't have it, and I didn't want to ask - but there's a piece of paper with "Candi's Mom" pasted to a cross at a shrine for the Virgin Mary on the other side of the world.



I've not yet had to deal with the slow, pre-determined passing of a loved one - my mother passed away during the war, unexpectedly of course. But, if I can, I'd like to tell you a few things I've learned.

You can use your memories to torture yourself, and make even the happiest memories give you a feeling of nervousness, anxiousness, and discomfort. Or you can work on remembering them and experiencing the emotions you felt at the time these memories were real events taking place. It takes some effort, and it's never really "easy", but it's possible. Perhaps you've already reached this point, but for a lot of us it takes time. It was more than a year before I could even say her name.

You only lose the new things, that's all. You don't lose the person, or the memories, or their fingerprints all over your life and who you are. All you miss is having them, literally, at future events. But even then, they're not really gone. You'll think about her, and just by doing that you're sharing everything with her.

Don't let anyone tell you how you should feel. If you want to cry for two weeks and destroy every pillow in your house, do it. If you want to ignore it and go get drunk, do it (safely). If you want to make a slideshow or have a night just talking about her with your relatives and friends, do it. Follow every need your heart has right now, and for the next several months, because it's very important. Your soul knows what it needs, and conforming to what other people expect or would like will make your healing time longer. Give in, and go with it.

I recommend taking some of her possessions to places she loved and throwing it in the water there, or burying it there. Some little trinket or something. In a few months.

I hope you'll get everything you need from going through this to have nothing but happiness when you think of her.

And remember - life on earth is so short, but eternity is eternity. You've got, at best, 50-70 years left alive. That's just the blink of an eye compared to an eternity together in the afterlife, or an eternity together in peace, blended back into the elements of earth - depending on what you believe. It's just a blink - you might as well learn to keep smiling and enjoy it, share it with her.

Xox

[I Panicked! At the Disco]

Oh, I'm so sorry. You and your whole family are in my thoughts and prayers.

[Buttercup]

I'm terribly sorry for your loss, Candi. Please take the time you need away from RF and come back so we can hopefully boost your spirits some.

[SunMessenger]

Originally Posted by mostly harmless

Mom died Saturday night at about 1030. She went peacefully in her sleep. Thank you everyone for your prayers.

May God Grant You Comfort In This Your Time Of Need. You Are In My Prayers. Sun