Praying at dinner (Jesus Christ, beliefs, grace, blood, church)

[sparc872]

I am in a bit of a crisis here. Not really a crisis, but I am just not sure how the best way to handle it is.

My girlfriend, as some of you may already know, is a Christian. She goes to church every Sunday with her family, she reads the Bible; She is really quite devoted to her faith. Her family is the same way. We were talking about our beliefs the other day and she asked me how I would handle her grandfather wanting me to say a prayer at dinner. I really didn't know exactly how to respond, so I figured I would ask you guys.

So, what should the protocol be for when someone asks an atheist to pray at a meal?

The best thing I could come up with was some sort of an open, inclusive thanks for this meal. But what do you all think?

[Djamila]

You don't necessarily need to mention God specifically, if that goes against your beliefs. You should use the word "Amen", though.

You could say something like, "Thank you for family and friends together, thank you for delicious food to eat, thank you for the wonderful time I'm sure we will all have. Amen."

Whenever I eat with non-Muslim friends and neighbors, which is at least once a day we use a generic prayer like this, and then after you say Amen, everyone responds as they like.

"Praise Jesus."
"Thank you God."
"In God's name, Amen."

Etc. It's the easiest way.

[Super Universe]

Do you ever do something that you do not wish to do but you do it just because it pleases another?

Would it be so difficult to say the Lord's Prayer?

[PHOTOTAKER]

i don't know what religions she is in... i don't how many christen denotations do this but there are pre written prayers (i don't care for because they tend not to have any heart) some christens tend to pray like this:
1) open with dear God, or something that is tells God...
2) give thinks (like for coming here, safely, this even the food... ect)
3) ask (for a blessing on the food, a good time, safety ect)
4) close the prayer ( in Jesus name, amen; in the name of Jesus Christ, amen; ect)

the pray should be appropriate to the event just in case your asked to give a prayer for something else...

but if i were you i would post what religions she is in than ask what is appropriate for that religion...

[Terrywoodenpic]

The shortest Grace that was said at my school were...

Before Dinner
Benedictus benedicat. May the Blessed One give a blessing.
After dinner:
Benedicto benedicatur. Let praise be given to the Blessed One (if you believe Benedicto is dative); or
Let a Blessing be given by the Blessed One (if you believe Benedicto is ablative).

you will see that neither of these are limited to a single religion, but might impress.

[michel]

Originally Posted by sparc872

I am in a bit of a crisis here. Not really a crisis, but I am just not sure how the best way to handle it is.

My girlfriend, as some of you may already know, is a Christian. She goes to church every Sunday with her family, she reads the Bible; She is really quite devoted to her faith. Her family is the same way. We were talking about our beliefs the other day and she asked me how I would handle her grandfather wanting me to say a prayer at dinner. I really didn't know exactly how to respond, so I figured I would ask you guys.

So, what should the protocol be for when someone asks an atheist to pray at a meal?

The best thing I could come up with was some sort of an open, inclusive thanks for this meal. But what do you all think?

I am not sure that the grandfather should put the onus on you as an atheist to say a prayer; does he know your views?

Maybe something simple like "May we give thanks for the food we are about to receive, especially when so many go hungry every day"......something good and neutral......

I thought I would try to find something 'apt' for you, and came across this rather amusing anectode:-

http://crakester.blogspot.com/2005/1...t-version.html
25 December 2005

Saying Grace--the Atheist Version


Submitted by: Keith Carr

Scene: Christmas Eve. My dining room, table formally set all nice, extended family all gathered around. Some, like my dad, wearing sweaters with reindeer on them. Some, like my mom, a little tipsy from the White Zinfandel.

Grandma (thick southern drawl): "I think someone should say grace"

Dad (conveniently looks away)

Brother Chris: "Keith, maybe you want to say it this year?"

Me: "Aren't we all atheists? Can't we just thank the butcher for a good turkey and thank mom and grandma for cooking it?"

Dad: "Oh come on, you have to do it, it's a man-of-the-house thing. It's your turn." (launches into non-sensical romantic tirade about how I won't be an atheist after I see my firstborn)

Mom (smells blood): "Just say it honey, your brother does it every year."

Me: "Why can't Jackie do it? Aren't we supposed to be fanatically progressive liberals? Why are women so oppressed in this household. . ."

Sister Jackie: "Moooom, I had to say it two years ago, it's Keith's turn."

Me: "If I do this, it's going my way"

Grandma: "Oh, you'll do a fine job."

Me: "Ok, fine. Everyone bow their heads and hold hands."

Me: "Dear Lord, thank you for this wonderful supper and for my wonderful family and thank you for Stop and Shop for having such a good turkey. Oh, and since this is Christ's birthday and all, thank you for sending your one and only son to die on the cross for our sins; not what I would have done, but you're the big guy so who am I to say it was a dumb idea. Also, I'd like to thank you for Angelina Jolie, good work. Kumbaya."

Family (in unison): "Kumbaya."


posted by Contributor at 11:48 AM

[sparc872]

You don't necessarily need to mention God specifically, if that goes against your beliefs. You should use the word "Amen", though.

You could say something like, "Thank you for family and friends together, thank you for delicious food to eat, thank you for the wonderful time I'm sure we will all have. Amen."

Whenever I eat with non-Muslim friends and neighbors, which is at least once a day we use a generic prayer like this, and then after you say Amen, everyone responds as they like.

"Praise Jesus."
"Thank you God."
"In God's name, Amen."

Etc. It's the easiest way.

Thanks! That is pretty close to what I figured I would do. Wasn't too sure about the amen part though.

Do you ever do something that you do not wish to do but you do it just because it pleases another?

Would it be so difficult to say the Lord's Prayer?

Yes and yes. By doing so I feel like I would be lying to her family, to her, and to myself. I will not pray to a God I feel doesn't exist, and I believe to do so would almost be mocking them. That is where my dillema arises.

[sparc872]

Submitted by: Keith Carr

Scene: Christmas Eve. My dining room, table formally set all nice, extended family all gathered around. Some, like my dad, wearing sweaters with reindeer on them. Some, like my mom, a little tipsy from the White Zinfandel.

Grandma (thick southern drawl): "I think someone should say grace"

Dad (conveniently looks away)

Brother Chris: "Keith, maybe you want to say it this year?"

Me: "Aren't we all atheists? Can't we just thank the butcher for a good turkey and thank mom and grandma for cooking it?"

Dad: "Oh come on, you have to do it, it's a man-of-the-house thing. It's your turn." (launches into non-sensical romantic tirade about how I won't be an atheist after I see my firstborn)

Mom (smells blood): "Just say it honey, your brother does it every year."

Me: "Why can't Jackie do it? Aren't we supposed to be fanatically progressive liberals? Why are women so oppressed in this household. . ."

Sister Jackie: "Moooom, I had to say it two years ago, it's Keith's turn."

Me: "If I do this, it's going my way"

Grandma: "Oh, you'll do a fine job."

Me: "Ok, fine. Everyone bow their heads and hold hands."

Me: "Dear Lord, thank you for this wonderful supper and for my wonderful family and thank you for Stop and Shop for having such a good turkey. Oh, and since this is Christ's birthday and all, thank you for sending your one and only son to die on the cross for our sins; not what I would have done, but you're the big guy so who am I to say it was a dumb idea. Also, I'd like to thank you for Angelina Jolie, good work. Kumbaya."

Family (in unison): "Kumbaya."

haha...kumbaya. Thanks for that.

Not sure if kumbaya would fly real well with their family

I am not sure that the grandfather should put the onus on you as an atheist to say a prayer; does he know your views?

Not sure if he does or not. I agree it would be a little rude for him to do that to me, but in the case that he doesn't know my views and does, then I would like to be prepared.

[Djamila]

Originally Posted by Super Universe

Do you ever do something that you do not wish to do but you do it just because it pleases another?

Would it be so difficult to say the Lord's Prayer?

I think there are different ways to view a person who, like me, refuses to say the Lord's prayer. You can think - oh she's a fundamentalist, she's whatever else.

In reality, though, I refuse to say it because I don't believe it in the sense that I am not Christian. To me, saying the Lord's prayer would be rude and disrespectful to what it represents and means to the people it belongs to.

With something like the Lord's prayer, I just could never touch it.

With less fundamental, important things I'm not worried though. I'll wish anyone a Merry Christmas or a Joyous Easter, that doesn't bother me at all.