pray for me. (prayer)

[Ardhanariswar]

my brother and I have been having sum issues since february. apperantly he wont talk to me, for what reasons, i have no idea. well i think i do, because im condescending... which im not. hes very short sighted and selfish. but hes cool, and fun too.

i want to go back to the way things were. but unfortunitly he wont open.

[Irenicas]

Sometimes, you need to let someone work at their own pace. I know that there are some things that are very hard to talk about with others, especially at first, but give him space and time, and let him know you're there. DOn't force him. If he wants to talk, he'll talk, but be warned - you may not like what he has to say.

[Bright-ness' Shadow]

Originally Posted by Gerani1248

my brother and I have been having sum issues since february. apperantly he wont talk to me, for what reasons, i have no idea. well i think i do, because im condescending... which im not. hes very short sighted and selfish. but hes cool, and fun too.

i want to go back to the way things were. but unfortunitly he wont open.

I can not pray for you but I can keep you in my heart hoping that a reslolutiion happens soon

Bob

[Lightkeeper]

My most heartfelt prayers and deepest thoughts go out to you Gerani. I truly hope you and your brother can resolve this. Stuff like this goes on in my family and much of it is sibling rivalry.

[Ardhanariswar]

thx. but i think this is much more than sibling rivalry. part of me thinks its the fact he cannot accept im gay. i mean, people all say they accept it, but i understand when it happens in ur own family, its much different. i broke his trust too, when he wouldnt talk to me, as if i wanted to get back at him. but its all immature and i feel bad. but hes angry at me before i broke his trust, i wonder why...

thx for ur help.

[Lightkeeper]

Heartfelt apologies go a long way. Is he somewhat afraid that if you are gay he might be?

[Ardhanariswar]

nah, he has a gujurati girlfriend. and theyve been hanging out. both of our parents think that they shouldnt and concentrate on thier studies (they are going to be 2nd years in college next year, different colleges that is) and they had sex. somehow her parents found out and they were forced to break up. but now they are together again, my parents (i think) are fine with it, but i dunno about her parents. but everythings all lovely again, except for me and him.

[Irenicas]

Well, accepting something like homosexuality is hard for family members, for reasons that can include fear (of "contamination", of ridicule of others, and simply of the unknown), prejudism, or sympathy. The last is sometimes the worst, for he may not realise that it is OK to be homosexual or bisexual or transexual, and may think you are suffering from being different (he may be right :P), or that you are unhappy and that is WHY you are gay. It is hard for families, and maybe what he needs is a demonstration of your happiness and security. If you have a partner, try introducing him to them if you haven't already - if you are happy to, invite your partner to family functions - as your partner. All this can help a family accept things better.

Most of all, hang on in there. I for one have been in your shoes, and know what it's like. It does get better.

[Ardhanariswar]

i think the reason is beyond me being gay. perhaps with my character and personality. haha, i dont have a partner. sheesh. im way to young.

im still open to being straight, im questioning. as always im too young for everything.

[Green Gaia]

Gerani, perhaps it would be best to give your brother the space he needs to work through whatever is keeping him from being open with you. However, you need to let him know that you are always open to communication with him, when he is ready and that no matter what he will have your love and support. Sometimes we get so caught up in our own busy lives and feelings, we forget those around us. Perhaps that is all it is. I will keep you both in my thoughts.