A Common Facet Of Two Women (For Rebecca H. and For One Other) (mystic, soul)

[Sunstone]

You are a wildness, a mystery,
A trail to the bears;
The wandering of elk.

Somewhere the wind
Flows as a river
Through the ponderosa;
The sun falls down between satin needles
To dapple your forest floor.

A sensuous spirit are you, an affirmation,
An embracer of life who’s given life:
A huge spirited woman.

I want to taste you, hike you,
Leave the kept lawns behind:
Cross you for miles
To pitch tent by your rushing stream.

[Mystic-als]

Originally Posted by Sunstone

Somewhere the wind
Flows in a river

I like this! what an awsome thought! wind as a river. Brilliant.
On our SDS (Sunstone dung scale) i think it's a Horse manure with little Elephant sprinckles on top for the above quoted line.
It's like looking at the cloud as the sun breaks through.
Thank you for this.

[Sunstone]

Thank you so much, Mystic! I hope I haven't destroyed some pleasure for you, but I felt compelled to change river to ocean. The mystery and spirit of these two women is two great for a river, IMO. Maybe that's it. But perhaps you should know that here in Colorado the closest we ever come to hearing the sound of an ocean is when the wind blows through a forest of ponderosa pines.

[Bastet]

Originally Posted by Sunstone

I want to taste you, hike you,
Leave the kept lawns behind:
Cross you for miles
To pitch tent by your rushing stream.

[Mystic-als]

Originally Posted by Sunstone

I felt compelled to change river to ocean

Noooooooooooo!!!
Only kidding! Good change. Still beautiful.

[Sunstone]

Originally Posted by Bastet

Thank you for the comment, Beautiful Meg! I am not at all surprised, however, that my poetry causes you to faint from nausea. The government is currently testing it for possible weapons applications.

[Sunstone]

Originally Posted by Mystic-als

Noooooooooooo!!!
Only kidding! Good change. Still beautiful.

Thank you, Mystic!

I confess this poem is dedicated to two women, both jewels, who could easily be sisters, except they look nothing alike physically. One is a tall beauty and one is a petite beauty. But apart from that, they are soul sisters. In the poem, I think I've captured one of the facets these two share, a certain rare and completely spirited embrace of life. They are untamed, wild, natural women with huge, graceful spirits.

You might be right about this poem basically being horse manure, but I think it rises a bit above that myself.

[standing_alone]

I think this is a very good poem. I agree with Mystic that it is better with wind as a river than as an ocean. A river shows more motion, more twisting and meandering. To me, an ocean just doesn't. But it's your poem and you have a different idea with what you want as to what the ocean means, so do with it as you please. And like Bastet, I also felt compelled to faint when I finished that last stanza, especially due to the use of adolescent slang for an erection.