![]() |
| Welcome to Religious Forums |
| Welcome Guest to ReligiousForums.com . You are currently not registered. When you become registered you will be able to interact with our large base of already registered users discussing topics. Some annoying Ads will also disappear when you register. Registering doesn't cost a thing and only takes a few seconds. We provide areas to chat and debate all World Religions. Please go to our register page! |
|
|||||||
![]() |
|
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
|
#1
|
||||
|
||||
|
A while back, I lived in the small artist's community of Manitou Colorado for a fall and winter. The town is jumbled between mountains, and during the cold months, the deer come into the town for food, followed a few days or weeks later by mountain lions.
I began a poem on it, and although I didn't finish the poem, I came across this draft the other night. Here is a part of the draft in which I work an image through four steps begining with prose and progressing into a minimally acceptable three lines of poetry: About this time of year, the lions come down from the mountains. They come in close to town. Because of the deer. About this time of year Lions come from the mountains And come in close Because of the deer. About this time of year The lions down from the mountains Come in close Because of the deer. And the lions down from the mountains Come in close Following the deer. Comments? Does anyone else want to post a bit of draft work for us to read?
__________________
Then I came back from where I'd been. My room, it looked the same - but there was nothing left between The Nameless and the name. - Leonard Cohen. |
|
#2
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
Angels weap He hears them Hears their pain When I cry I weap He hears me fells my pain. It feels emotionless. bland ant crap stuff. I want to get some feeling into it to help the imagery of the weaping angels and dolphins. But also don't want to detract from my pain. Oh well...
__________________
The only reason why conscious intentions fail is because they are sabotaged by subconscious counter intentions. |
|
#3
|
||||
|
||||
|
I'll start a "drafts" thread.
__________________
The only reason why conscious intentions fail is because they are sabotaged by subconscious counter intentions. |
![]() |
| Thread Tools | |
| Display Modes | |