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#1
06-19-2006, 07:46 AM
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Mo gate ar toi
I feel you coming
A touch of magic You look so lovely I can’t imagine How do I show you How much I love you You softly breathing Your eyes closed tightly Within you gently I’m surrendering It feels like heaven Mo gate ar toi
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The only reason why conscious intentions fail is because they are sabotaged by subconscious counter intentions. 
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#2
06-19-2006, 12:16 PM
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Before I comment on this poem, Mystic, could you tell me what " Mo gate ar toi" means, and how it's pronounced?
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Then I came back from where I'd been. My room, it looked the same - but there was nothing left between The Nameless and the name. - Leonard Cohen.
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#3
06-20-2006, 01:08 AM
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It's a Mauritian Creol phrase meaning I'm infatuated with you.
Pronounced. More (without the 'r') gut e are twa
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The only reason why conscious intentions fail is because they are sabotaged by subconscious counter intentions. Last edited by Mystic-als; 06-20-2006 at 01:35 AM.
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#4
06-20-2006, 07:39 AM
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I feel you coming
A touch of magic You look so lovely I can’t imagine How do I show you How much I love you You softly breathing Your eyes closed tightly Within you gently I’m surrendering It feels like heaven Mo gate ar toi I love this gentle song of emotional and physical surrender, and of connectedness. In the first place, I like the way the soft rhythm reminds me of falling cottonwood seed. Second, this poem is so masculine in it's visual directness, yet so tender in its rhythm. The poem has the honest sweetness of real cane sugar, not the too sweetness of corn syrup. Surely it gives us men a good name. The sound of the very last line, coming after the English, is sheer music. To steal from the poem, that last line is "a touch of magic." It is nearly impossible to believe that the narrator is merely infatuated. At least in the moment, he is in love. Speaking from the North American Contintent, this poem is nothing less than the longed for and esteemed moose poo.
__________________
Then I came back from where I'd been. My room, it looked the same - but there was nothing left between The Nameless and the name. - Leonard Cohen.
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#5
06-27-2006, 09:03 AM
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For me this poem has too many "I" 's in it to really be about someone else. You should learn to give in a poem about love. From her point of view. Not your own. however I think that the lady you wrote this too sounds very sensual and you sound a little romantic.
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